A moment of reflection
One year ago I wrote:
This year/ updates in red
Oh lovely ebb and flow, I'm back on my move to Maryland in January kick. I realized moving halfway across the country, going back to a four-year University, and moving in with my boyfriend might not be best done all at once.
Were we seriously planning to move to Chicago? This is hysterical to me now.
Plus I want to live with Caitlin and make movies.
We didn't film one thing.
Caitlin and I would be really happy living together, it would be very good for us. Mainly because of emotional support and... raquetball.
I think, throughout our friendship, we were least emotionally supportive while we lived together. No blame, just a belief.
Plus I want my degree to be from UMD.
I wanted to graduate from UMD as a 'fuck you' to the school I think... A 'you thought I couldn't do it'... I think I should stop spiting inanimate objects.
Plus I want to be near my boyfriend/ friends sooner rather than later.
True. However, I don't know how I came to the conclusion that the term friends was plural.
Plus my friends here proved disappointing yet again. But I'm letting go of that, yes, slowly, but letting go nonetheless. I don't have any sense of community, any group I belong to (substantially), therefore, I'll forego free food and being nextdoor to NYC to go and explore MD and DC yet again this winter.
I haven't explored anything really... And perhaps I am the disappointment, but I have to stop thinking that way. I've learned a lot about people since I moved here, a lot of things I knew but had a truly negative feeling about - reading The Four Agreements has helped me understand people in a way I haven't.
A year later, I have no idea why I'm here. But technically I have no reason to be in NJ either. I would return return to the friends that were and probably continue this life that is nauseatingly cyclical as is....
It's time for something new, not just my usual shift to something I'm giving a second (seven millionth) chance.
IDEAS:
Saving up and driving around the country for a month over the summer.
Montgomery County College
Make a list of things I should do 'before I leave DC' and plan to do them
Take sewing classes
Make progress with my art
Write, write, write
Meet at least 5 new people
Learn more about my 'new age'/ eastern interests - self-hypnosis, astrology, feng shui, etc.
Learn about design
Decide what I truly want in terms of my education
Decide on a place to move after I get my Associates
Leave the fucking country
Be more positive
AND REMEMBER:
Be impeccable with my word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Always do my best.
This year/ updates in red
Oh lovely ebb and flow, I'm back on my move to Maryland in January kick. I realized moving halfway across the country, going back to a four-year University, and moving in with my boyfriend might not be best done all at once.
Were we seriously planning to move to Chicago? This is hysterical to me now.
Plus I want to live with Caitlin and make movies.
We didn't film one thing.
Caitlin and I would be really happy living together, it would be very good for us. Mainly because of emotional support and... raquetball.
I think, throughout our friendship, we were least emotionally supportive while we lived together. No blame, just a belief.
Plus I want my degree to be from UMD.
I wanted to graduate from UMD as a 'fuck you' to the school I think... A 'you thought I couldn't do it'... I think I should stop spiting inanimate objects.
Plus I want to be near my boyfriend/ friends sooner rather than later.
True. However, I don't know how I came to the conclusion that the term friends was plural.
Plus my friends here proved disappointing yet again. But I'm letting go of that, yes, slowly, but letting go nonetheless. I don't have any sense of community, any group I belong to (substantially), therefore, I'll forego free food and being nextdoor to NYC to go and explore MD and DC yet again this winter.
I haven't explored anything really... And perhaps I am the disappointment, but I have to stop thinking that way. I've learned a lot about people since I moved here, a lot of things I knew but had a truly negative feeling about - reading The Four Agreements has helped me understand people in a way I haven't.
A year later, I have no idea why I'm here. But technically I have no reason to be in NJ either. I would return return to the friends that were and probably continue this life that is nauseatingly cyclical as is....
It's time for something new, not just my usual shift to something I'm giving a second (seven millionth) chance.
IDEAS:
Saving up and driving around the country for a month over the summer.
Montgomery County College
Make a list of things I should do 'before I leave DC' and plan to do them
Take sewing classes
Make progress with my art
Write, write, write
Meet at least 5 new people
Learn more about my 'new age'/ eastern interests - self-hypnosis, astrology, feng shui, etc.
Learn about design
Decide what I truly want in terms of my education
Decide on a place to move after I get my Associates
Leave the fucking country
Be more positive
AND REMEMBER:
Be impeccable with my word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Always do my best.