(no subject)
my mom said everyday will be better than the last. that in a week i should be back to normal. she is probably right. i feel better today than i did yesturday. it was bad yesturday. i cried so much that i got sick. when i woke up this morning my throat hurt, my eyes were swollen, and my nose was stuffed. ugh.
you want closure. then do the same favor for me. i can't have closure if i don't know what happened. you wanted me one minute. and had me. then 30 minutes later you tell me that its over...that doesn't make sense to me. i looked at you and asked if you were happy and you said yes then all of a sudden your not. that doesnt make any sense to me. you have to tell me what happened...so i can move on. because i can't even stop thinking. retracing everything that could have happened. we talked and laughed and you were happy. i could tell when i looked into your eyes. then. youre not. it doesnt make sense to me. if it hurts me, fine let it. i dont care. because nothing hurts as bad as this and i want to get rid of this feeling as soon as i can. you have to tell me. so i can move on.
on another note. i turned off my phone. i just dont feel like talking to anyone and thats exactlly what my voice mail says. leave a message if you want me to call you back. or call my house and they'll tell me you called. if you dont have my house number theres proabbly a reason for that. so sorry and oh well. i'll turn it on every now and then to see if theres something important. if you can catch me then good luck and congrats. i probably wont asnwer. heh.
i dont think im going to write in here anymore either. i might start a new one. maybe. and delete this one. i want to delete everything that was written in here. too many feelings. too much involvment.
you want closure. then do the same favor for me. i can't have closure if i don't know what happened. you wanted me one minute. and had me. then 30 minutes later you tell me that its over...that doesn't make sense to me. i looked at you and asked if you were happy and you said yes then all of a sudden your not. that doesnt make any sense to me. you have to tell me what happened...so i can move on. because i can't even stop thinking. retracing everything that could have happened. we talked and laughed and you were happy. i could tell when i looked into your eyes. then. youre not. it doesnt make sense to me. if it hurts me, fine let it. i dont care. because nothing hurts as bad as this and i want to get rid of this feeling as soon as i can. you have to tell me. so i can move on.
on another note. i turned off my phone. i just dont feel like talking to anyone and thats exactlly what my voice mail says. leave a message if you want me to call you back. or call my house and they'll tell me you called. if you dont have my house number theres proabbly a reason for that. so sorry and oh well. i'll turn it on every now and then to see if theres something important. if you can catch me then good luck and congrats. i probably wont asnwer. heh.
i dont think im going to write in here anymore either. i might start a new one. maybe. and delete this one. i want to delete everything that was written in here. too many feelings. too much involvment.