underdog
Having reviewed my old posts I finally understood one obvious thing. Also I've been thinking a lot and then put all tiny pieces together and saw a full picture of what's going on.
Over the past 5 or even more years I've been competing with my surrounding just to fit in. Damn... And after a while I'm still an underdog, an object of constant discussion, disapproval, indignation and mockery. From people who still act like teenagers and so fucking sure they're right in everything. Although they don't bother to see their own imperfections - intolerance, cruelty, ignorance, harshness.
At the same time there are people who inspire me, feel genuinly happy for me, sympathize and like me the way I am. No matter how I dress, how much I weigh, how much I drink, how I behave. They just see me. It's a very nice feeling actually, being appreciated.
So much time I felt bad and guilty for what I did or said, felt offended for not being heard or respected.
Time to get rid of things that make me feel bad. Or people, mostly. I'll just walk away slowly. So that no one noticed and critisized me again.
Over the past 5 or even more years I've been competing with my surrounding just to fit in. Damn... And after a while I'm still an underdog, an object of constant discussion, disapproval, indignation and mockery. From people who still act like teenagers and so fucking sure they're right in everything. Although they don't bother to see their own imperfections - intolerance, cruelty, ignorance, harshness.
At the same time there are people who inspire me, feel genuinly happy for me, sympathize and like me the way I am. No matter how I dress, how much I weigh, how much I drink, how I behave. They just see me. It's a very nice feeling actually, being appreciated.
So much time I felt bad and guilty for what I did or said, felt offended for not being heard or respected.
Time to get rid of things that make me feel bad. Or people, mostly. I'll just walk away slowly. So that no one noticed and critisized me again.