Personal bullshit
I'm starting to hate the game we play.
I know its all for the "plan"
And don't get me wrong, its hella fun.
But it's starting to get to me.
"I hate you" sounds like a total lie now.
And you act.. like you know that? I think.
I know its a lie on my end.
And I do know you dont really mean it 100% of the way either.
Are you just so good at the game? And I'm just the idiot who's reading into it too much?
Ugh. Probably.
Youre not fake. Youre honest. Maybe too honest.
So when you say those things that make me feel like
well, like i'm better than them
"special"
whatever
do you mean it? i guess ill never know.
to ask would be to lose the game.
i hate you.
And the nagging at the back of my head,
I'm not good enough
(yet)
he wont do it
(not now)
you can't measure up
(no not yet but i will)
will i will i will i ever ever
do what i know is possible
what i know i want
i dont think its you.
ovbiously in a way its completely you but in a larger sense or something maybe its really not.
or maybe it is you, i really dont know i cant see the future.
hints about the future after the 'event'
suggest you might admit some different feelings towards me.
that the game is what matters now
and after than initial plan is carried out
then... then we'll see how the rest plays out.
is that true?
i mean really, do i even have THAT much of a chance?
i really can not tell and to ask is to lose the game.
waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting
pro
cras
tinating
I know its all for the "plan"
And don't get me wrong, its hella fun.
But it's starting to get to me.
"I hate you" sounds like a total lie now.
And you act.. like you know that? I think.
I know its a lie on my end.
And I do know you dont really mean it 100% of the way either.
Are you just so good at the game? And I'm just the idiot who's reading into it too much?
Ugh. Probably.
Youre not fake. Youre honest. Maybe too honest.
So when you say those things that make me feel like
well, like i'm better than them
"special"
whatever
do you mean it? i guess ill never know.
to ask would be to lose the game.
i hate you.
And the nagging at the back of my head,
I'm not good enough
(yet)
he wont do it
(not now)
you can't measure up
(no not yet but i will)
will i will i will i ever ever
do what i know is possible
what i know i want
i dont think its you.
ovbiously in a way its completely you but in a larger sense or something maybe its really not.
or maybe it is you, i really dont know i cant see the future.
hints about the future after the 'event'
suggest you might admit some different feelings towards me.
that the game is what matters now
and after than initial plan is carried out
then... then we'll see how the rest plays out.
is that true?
i mean really, do i even have THAT much of a chance?
i really can not tell and to ask is to lose the game.
waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting
pro
cras
tinating