i'm not okay... i promise

[fuck_integrity]

I miss the days i would go next door and see a Jurassic Park themed setup with blocks and toy dinosaurs.

I miss the days when I would hang with Dave C. and play Super Nintendo (football, wrestling), race Hot Wheels, and make a shitload of chinese footballs and take the Jaguars to the Super Bowl.

I miss the days when next door Dave and I would play with our Transformers toys.

I miss the days when Dave and I would build snow forts and have snow wars.

I miss the days when I would go to Shane's house, and everyone there was like family on St. Joan.

I miss the days I got to hang with shane and josh every day, and even saw Steph occasionally.

I miss the summer of 2000 and 2001.

I miss the summer of '03. I miss Amanda. I miss the days when I actually knew her, and we were like best friends.

I miss Justina. She'll be back, but goddam I miss her. And I miss how close we were for a short period of time.

I miss Meaghan. I rarely see her, and she's going to NYC right now.. But she's so fun..

I miss Dan. He's leaving for boot camp today. I didn't even get to say goodbye or go to his going away party. God, will I miss him.

I miss next door Dave. He's been writing me, and I want him back home. Where he belongs. He's not a bad kid. He's been in there long enough. Bring him home..

I miss the days when backyard wrestling was all shane, josh, dan and i thought about.

I miss the days I got to spend days at a time in Kenmore with shane, josh, and dave.

I miss the days when next door Dave and I would spend Halloween Night playing the newest SMACKDOWN! game, just chilling and having a generally good time.

I miss the days when I was little and was super excited about Christmas. And I loved X-Mas shopping in the snow. It was awesome..

I miss the days when I was a child. Period. The cool toys, the things to love forward to..

I miss the days of long walks with friends, to generally no where. Now we're all old enough to drive, and well.. It sometimes sucks.

I miss being happy.

I miss having somewhere to be happy with.

I miss my friends.

I miss the way things USED to be.

What the fuck has happened, anyways?

i need someone to help me. anybody. make these feelings go away. someone make me happy...