(no subject)
I feel like that part of my heart that holds me together, that keeps me ticking, has been weathered down to a strand. I have no desire to keep going like this. Its just going to go down in the books as another point proven towards my incapability of maintaining a relationship.
Now, if I were to exit stage left right now, it'd be a shame for it to look like it had something to do with getting kicked to the curb. Because, it doesn't...well, not entirely. This is just another loss.
I'm just sick of the way things go in general. I've had 21 years of things 'not working out.' And I've had 21 years of 'don't let it get you down' and 'keep on trucking.' So, I did that... To no avail.
Now I just want to destroy everything.
I'm sick of being a good person. I'm sick of caring so much about everyone and not seeing any return. This isn't the way lifes supposed to work.
Now, if I were to exit stage left right now, it'd be a shame for it to look like it had something to do with getting kicked to the curb. Because, it doesn't...well, not entirely. This is just another loss.
I'm just sick of the way things go in general. I've had 21 years of things 'not working out.' And I've had 21 years of 'don't let it get you down' and 'keep on trucking.' So, I did that... To no avail.
Now I just want to destroy everything.
I'm sick of being a good person. I'm sick of caring so much about everyone and not seeing any return. This isn't the way lifes supposed to work.