i wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
the dreams have eased up a bit. not been so vivid lately, what a relief. i do not like how random people pop in every now and then though. at least they still know their place in my dreams. and i still deal with them as i probably would in real life. the violence has gotten more realistic, but hey, they're only dreams, and sometimes they're really fucking good, and i can write them down and make a pretty good story out of it. speaking of writing, once again restarted another story last night, coming along pretty good. i plan on doing some writing tonight, unless i happen to go out. been doing alot of that lately, it's been a little weird actually going out and doing things, with people. but man, such fun. also, i found a way to deal with the turmoil of being such in the way that i am. and this week has been very peaceful. sometimes, you just have to remember what you are, not spend time dwelling on what people have tried to convince you you are. i am not a monster, and i refuse to go on thinking that people in the past, women of course, were right in calling me so. just because they didn't like what i can do with what you people call emotions. deal with it. i am better than everyone, if you can't handle it, too fucking bad. i am not changing. i love my life