INTERNEEEEET
Xaedien Bloodstone: Most cases of the violence wouldn't really be bad enough to report either
Hollyocaust it's just sensory perception, it's been proven
Hollyocaust schizophrenics who attack people are ones that have schizophrenia with something else
Hollyocaust like antisocial personality disorder or other things
Xaedien Bloodstone: >_>....
Xaedien Bloodstone: Meh
Xaedien Bloodstone: I never got the full drop down
Xaedien Bloodstone: They just said "Hey! Tell your neighbors that you may get a little riled up at times, and to stay in the house at that point"
Xaedien Bloodstone: It became habit over nine years of doing it o.o
Xaedien Bloodstone: But they never finished testing me 'cause my insurance was shit and wouldn't pay for the rest
Xaedien Bloodstone: So I don't know what all I have
Xaedien Bloodstone: Apart from what they've told me
Hollyocaust that sucks
Xaedien Bloodstone: But they had me in a home for a period of time where they observed my behaviors in certain situations and came up with that
Xaedien Bloodstone: Apart from all they, they gave me pills, which I can no longer take due to having no insurance
Xaedien Bloodstone: And an inability to get a job in this area
Xaedien Bloodstone: So I'm mostly a hermit x.x
Hollyocaust go on disability
Xaedien Bloodstone: Which they said "Do not do!"
Hollyocaust if you can prove that it prevents you from being able to work or go to school then you'll get accepted
Xaedien Bloodstone: Well it doesn't prevent me, that's the thing
Xaedien Bloodstone: I just get nervous around TOO MANY people....
Hollyocaust but you just said your doctors told you not to get a job
Xaedien Bloodstone: And then that's when it all goes down hill
Xaedien Bloodstone: From an early age my peers abused me as a person, so that contributed to the issue..
Xaedien Bloodstone: No, they told me not to disconnect myself from the outside world
Xaedien Bloodstone: Trying to incorporate me into a social life is what they WANTED to happen to get over the whole start of the cycle
Xaedien Bloodstone: It all began with people
Xaedien Bloodstone: If I can get over that they say I should be fine
Hollyocaust hm
Xaedien Bloodstone: The reason I warn my neighbors is because around that same time there was an incident with another peer of mine in school
Xaedien Bloodstone: I had hurt in in a way that got me suspended for an extended amount of time
Xaedien Bloodstone: Which is WHY I originally started this stuff
Xaedien Bloodstone: It was "Recommended"
Xaedien Bloodstone: I've gotten over most things, but too many people in one small area = death wish .-.
Xaedien Bloodstone: 'Cause either I'll crack or break into pieces and hide in a corner
Xaedien Bloodstone: It goes both ways sometimes
Xaedien Bloodstone: So through my life it's like "Don't stay away from people, but don't go where a lot of people are"
Xaedien Bloodstone: Which is kinda a contradiction 'cause... well... you go outside and there is a lot of people
Hollyocaust lol what
Hollyocaust what meds were you on
Xaedien Bloodstone: Several with long confusing names that I no longer remember
Xaedien Bloodstone: Because I haven't had them for months
Xaedien Bloodstone: One was for anger, the other was for anxiety
Hollyocaust you were on them for nine years and you can't remember
Hollyocaust ...
Xaedien Bloodstone: They put me on some depression stuff
Hollyocaust uh..huh
Xaedien Bloodstone: I never ordered them >_>.....
Hollyocaust they don't use antidepressants for schizophrenic, they use antipsychotics
Xaedien Bloodstone: That was my mom's bag there
Hollyocaust wow
Hollyocaust your story is unravelling quickly
Xaedien Bloodstone: Never diagnosed me fully
Hollyocaust they didn't diagnose you fully but they prescribed you three medications for disorders that are NOT schizophrenic
Hollyocaust which you never filled out because you didn't feel like it
Xaedien Bloodstone: How am I supposed to fill them out if I'm too young to get them myself?
Hollyocaust well, i'm actually talking to my friend who also comes to this chat who has schizophrenia and she has no idea what you're talking about
Hollyocaust and there is no age for getting prescriptions
Hollyocaust i filled a prescription by myself when i was 14
Hollyocaust or shit, who knows, maybe they do things different in the US
Xaedien Bloodstone: PRetty sure I was too young for the most part of it
Xaedien Bloodstone: Plus she stayed on top of it anyways....
Hollyocaust uhhuh.
Hollyocaust yeah i believed you at first but then you talked yourself into a hole
Xaedien Bloodstone: Don't have to believe me if you don't want to honestly
Hollyocaust i don't.
Hollyocaust at all.
Xaedien Bloodstone: What would be the point of lying to you anyways?
Xaedien Bloodstone: You're indifferent towards everyone
Xaedien Bloodstone: Well, from what I've seen through your interactions with others at least.
Xaedien Bloodstone: So telling you some sob story would get me no where
Hollyocaust for attention, like everyone else? if i asked this room who had a mental illness, every single person would be in PM telling me exactly what you just said
Hollyocaust i'm not indifferent, i just don't look favorably upon people who bullshit and try to get attention and are stupid or unnecessarily dramatic or rude
Hollyocaust if a person tells me they're bipolar and says something that makes sense and can tell me what medication they're on
Xaedien Bloodstone: Everyone is rude and dramatic
Hollyocaust yeah i'll believe them
Xaedien Bloodstone: It just has levels for everyone else
Xaedien Bloodstone: Another thing is, why would someone pay attention to what they're taking in the first place when they've got shit to do
Xaedien Bloodstone: Like tests and the S.A.T.?
Hollyocaust are you kidding me?
Hollyocaust are you fucking kidding me?
Hollyocaust when you have a mental illness that's affecting your life medication and therapy is extremely fucking important
Hollyocaust i could tell you every single pill i've been on since i was 16 and what dosages
Hollyocaust like literally
Hollyocaust every person who takes medication fucking knows what they take
Hollyocaust it's an enormous part of psychiatric medicine, you HAVE to know or you could get sick
Hollyocaust every single doctor will tell their patient to know exactly what they're on at all times and what dosages, especially psychiatric medication
Hollyocaust it's extremely extremely important
Xaedien Bloodstone: Good point but I was never the one signing the forms or even reminding myself to take the pills
Hollyocaust neither was i
Hollyocaust my dad did all of that for me
Hollyocaust but i still made damn sure i knew what i was on
Hollyocaust i didn't even try hard, i just knew the medications because i remembered them and because they were important
Xaedien Bloodstone: Guess I'm another one of them dumb americans then
Xaedien Bloodstone: Which I would readily believe anyways
Xaedien Bloodstone: I've always tried to avoid anything stressful in the first place
Xaedien Bloodstone: Remembering some long confusing name was one of them
Hollyocaust i don't even have schizophrenic and even i could tell you some of the "extremely hard to remember" psychotropics
Xaedien Bloodstone: I do know that at one point they wanted to test something like....
Xaedien Bloodstone: Con-somethinganother....
Xaedien Bloodstone: 'Cause I was having trouble staying focused at like 13...
Xaedien Bloodstone: come to find out it was just home issues bothering me...
Hollyocaust ok what tests were they going to give you for schizophrenia, like honestly come on
Xaedien Bloodstone: First they gave me a few behavioral tests
Xaedien Bloodstone: To see where I was in terms of response to things
Xaedien Bloodstone: Then they wanted to figure out if I had voices in my head or not
Hollyocaust behavioral test
Hollyocaust like what
Xaedien Bloodstone: And if I made up imaginary friends
Xaedien Bloodstone: Wanted to see if I lashed out often
Hollyocaust by what, making you argue with someone?
Xaedien Bloodstone: Well they put me in a room with another doctor and he kinda just... annoyed me a bit...
Hollyocaust .......................