sweet & empty [Syo/Natsuki]
Title: sweet & empty
Fandom: Uta no Prince-sama
Pairing: Syo/Natsuki
Rating: G
Warning(s): I don't know what this is. A weird little headcanon of mine, I guess, about Natsuki's habits and some Syo feels. So, half-asleep angstiness.
Words: 1040
Summary: "The warmly familiar voice drifted up through the cool darkness... It was Natsuki, holding another conference with his stuffed animals." Natsuki is worried, and a little in love. Syo is in love, and a little worried.
Author's Note: I've had this one half-finished, sitting in my hard drive for a while-- what spurred me to finish it was the song "Hoshizora to Kimi no Te" by DaizyStripper, which filled in the exact gaps in feeling I was lacking in this piece. It was rather fun to write! I absolutely adore these two; they were my favorite part of UtaPri. I know I was supposed to be watching it to see who Haruka would end up with, but... it was more like "Tokiya, duh, now HAVE NATSUKI AND SYO KISSED YET?" Oops.
It's getting applied to the "insomnia" square for cottoncandy_bingo. Masterpost on dreamwidth.
~◦☆◦~
Syo had missed a step going down the stairs-he felt momentarily weightless, then pitching forward, tumbling, falling… but his body felt all of the surprise, and took none of the shock. He awaited reality coming up to meet him from below, to bruise him, to punish him for his carelessness. Ah, he would be late, too! Surely, to wherever he was going. He couldn’t remember.
His heart and stomach lurched in unison, and his breath came as a short gasp. Darkness saturated the air all around, enclosing him, sweetly and emptily.
Ah, he had been so close to falling asleep! He swallowed an indignant grumble and rolled onto his side, pushing the covers down from his upper body roughly.
If it was this late, and something had awakened him, surely it had to be…
“I’m just worried. I’m not sure what to do!”
The warmly familiar voice drifted up through the cool darkness, easily clear to Syo, who lay only as far away as the space in their room allowed. It was Natsuki, holding another conference with his stuffed animals.
Syo had known Natsuki for the better part of forever, so the habit came as no surprise to him. This did not make it any less irritating, however. When something was on the young man’s mind, something really pressing or really personal that it just wouldn’t do to ask Syo about, he would seek audience with the small band of plushies that ruled over his bed space. They never spoke in return (as far as Syo knew) or answered any of his inquiries, but it was his own strange form of diary. Speaking his thoughts aloud, processing his perceptions and concerns verbally-it made sense how it would be therapeutic. For that, Syo was glad that Natsuki had some outlet. He could be such a fretter, at times.
If only those times did not come in the middle of the night…!
“It’s a lot of pressure. I don’t think we help it much, either, do we? That person isn’t used to it at all. Anybody would have trouble dealing with it, but especially-”
Ah, of course. Syo could not help but listen-he would be quick to defend himself on the matter, what else was I supposed to do, it’s not like I could go to sleep-and he found his gathering suspicions confirmed. Natsuki was worried about someone, as usual: he was remarkably thickheaded when it came to his own personal troubles. Those were usually Syo’s job to worry about.
Without a doubt, the identity of that person had to be Haruka.
Syo had never seen Natsuki become quite so attached to someone ever since he had met, well, Syo. He supposed he should have seen it coming; it was bound to happen. One by one, each of their classmates had been taken with Haruka, so why would he have expected Natsuki to be any exception? Why, because Syo did not fall in love with her? Because Syo felt a deeper connection to someone else?
“I can’t say anything. If I told that person now, it would only complicate things. That’s the last thing that person needs right now.”
Natsuki’s voice pulled Syo’s attention back, and he bit his lip. It wasn’t just simple concern-no, no, this was Natsuki’s problem, too. Natsuki’s feelings.
She understands me, he had told him, more than once. She doesn’t mind the way I am.
Neither did Syo, but he never said anything. Let Natsuki be happy! If Syo wasn’t the one he chose, then… he could be happy with the friendship they had always had. Beautiful memories.
In his mind, he could see the pretty little-eyed stares of the various Piyo-chan characters Natsuki kept there on his side of the room, across the invisible line that divided their shared space in half, the line that had once become physical when threatened. Syo had been scared then. The feeling had settled into a more generalized sinking despondency in his stomach, one which could be banished away in the presence of either Natsuki or Haruka, but threatened to consume him whole when they were together.
He would never say he was jealous.
“I just don’t know how much longer I can wait… I’m worried, but I love that person, too.”
…Syo was definitely jealous.
And what right did he have, to be? It had taken Haruka’s arrival in his and Natsuki’s lives for him to even realize that he sorta-kinda-maybe-definitely loved his childhood friend. Even then, he never said anything, and tried everything his power to keep it from being known. So why was he jealous? Surely Natsuki supposed that he was walking a fine line of tolerance with Syo, and that was all. As usual.
Syo’s heart was beating just a bit too fast, painfully. He pulled the covers up over his head as if Natsuki would be able to see the guilty flush darkening his cheeks otherwise.
If you’re that in love, then just tell her. Tell Haruka and get it over with. There’s no point; we’re all worried about her, she’s so self-sacrificing it’s hard to watch. But so are you, so… just confess. Please. Stop waiting and making me think I have a chance, please, just-
“I hope Syo-chan will be alright…”
Natsuki’s bed creaked as he turned over, sighing- frozen with tension, Syo could not manage to draw breath.
Syo-chan.
Had he imagined it? Surely. Natsuki had just been talking about Haruka. Haruka, this whole time, the one everyone loved, everyone but Syo, who loved-
Another sleepy sigh from across the room melted Syo’s defenses and ravaged his thoughts at once. He was hopeless, completely hopeless.
He would never tell Natsuki that he had heard, never… still, as he closed his eyes, desperately willing his heart to still, he found himself choosing what words he would use to respond if it was about him. In the darkness, his imagination wrapped him softly in fantasy. Don’t worry. You can tell me anything. I love you, too.
Natsuki. Thank you…
Again he was pitched forward, tumbling, falling… as if into the warmly familiar arms of someone who could exist there, and only there, in the sweet and empty darkness.
~◦☆◦~
Fandom: Uta no Prince-sama
Pairing: Syo/Natsuki
Rating: G
Warning(s): I don't know what this is. A weird little headcanon of mine, I guess, about Natsuki's habits and some Syo feels. So, half-asleep angstiness.
Words: 1040
Summary: "The warmly familiar voice drifted up through the cool darkness... It was Natsuki, holding another conference with his stuffed animals." Natsuki is worried, and a little in love. Syo is in love, and a little worried.
Author's Note: I've had this one half-finished, sitting in my hard drive for a while-- what spurred me to finish it was the song "Hoshizora to Kimi no Te" by DaizyStripper, which filled in the exact gaps in feeling I was lacking in this piece. It was rather fun to write! I absolutely adore these two; they were my favorite part of UtaPri. I know I was supposed to be watching it to see who Haruka would end up with, but... it was more like "Tokiya, duh, now HAVE NATSUKI AND SYO KISSED YET?" Oops.
It's getting applied to the "insomnia" square for cottoncandy_bingo. Masterpost on dreamwidth.
~◦☆◦~
Syo had missed a step going down the stairs-he felt momentarily weightless, then pitching forward, tumbling, falling… but his body felt all of the surprise, and took none of the shock. He awaited reality coming up to meet him from below, to bruise him, to punish him for his carelessness. Ah, he would be late, too! Surely, to wherever he was going. He couldn’t remember.
His heart and stomach lurched in unison, and his breath came as a short gasp. Darkness saturated the air all around, enclosing him, sweetly and emptily.
Ah, he had been so close to falling asleep! He swallowed an indignant grumble and rolled onto his side, pushing the covers down from his upper body roughly.
If it was this late, and something had awakened him, surely it had to be…
“I’m just worried. I’m not sure what to do!”
The warmly familiar voice drifted up through the cool darkness, easily clear to Syo, who lay only as far away as the space in their room allowed. It was Natsuki, holding another conference with his stuffed animals.
Syo had known Natsuki for the better part of forever, so the habit came as no surprise to him. This did not make it any less irritating, however. When something was on the young man’s mind, something really pressing or really personal that it just wouldn’t do to ask Syo about, he would seek audience with the small band of plushies that ruled over his bed space. They never spoke in return (as far as Syo knew) or answered any of his inquiries, but it was his own strange form of diary. Speaking his thoughts aloud, processing his perceptions and concerns verbally-it made sense how it would be therapeutic. For that, Syo was glad that Natsuki had some outlet. He could be such a fretter, at times.
If only those times did not come in the middle of the night…!
“It’s a lot of pressure. I don’t think we help it much, either, do we? That person isn’t used to it at all. Anybody would have trouble dealing with it, but especially-”
Ah, of course. Syo could not help but listen-he would be quick to defend himself on the matter, what else was I supposed to do, it’s not like I could go to sleep-and he found his gathering suspicions confirmed. Natsuki was worried about someone, as usual: he was remarkably thickheaded when it came to his own personal troubles. Those were usually Syo’s job to worry about.
Without a doubt, the identity of that person had to be Haruka.
Syo had never seen Natsuki become quite so attached to someone ever since he had met, well, Syo. He supposed he should have seen it coming; it was bound to happen. One by one, each of their classmates had been taken with Haruka, so why would he have expected Natsuki to be any exception? Why, because Syo did not fall in love with her? Because Syo felt a deeper connection to someone else?
“I can’t say anything. If I told that person now, it would only complicate things. That’s the last thing that person needs right now.”
Natsuki’s voice pulled Syo’s attention back, and he bit his lip. It wasn’t just simple concern-no, no, this was Natsuki’s problem, too. Natsuki’s feelings.
She understands me, he had told him, more than once. She doesn’t mind the way I am.
Neither did Syo, but he never said anything. Let Natsuki be happy! If Syo wasn’t the one he chose, then… he could be happy with the friendship they had always had. Beautiful memories.
In his mind, he could see the pretty little-eyed stares of the various Piyo-chan characters Natsuki kept there on his side of the room, across the invisible line that divided their shared space in half, the line that had once become physical when threatened. Syo had been scared then. The feeling had settled into a more generalized sinking despondency in his stomach, one which could be banished away in the presence of either Natsuki or Haruka, but threatened to consume him whole when they were together.
He would never say he was jealous.
“I just don’t know how much longer I can wait… I’m worried, but I love that person, too.”
…Syo was definitely jealous.
And what right did he have, to be? It had taken Haruka’s arrival in his and Natsuki’s lives for him to even realize that he sorta-kinda-maybe-definitely loved his childhood friend. Even then, he never said anything, and tried everything his power to keep it from being known. So why was he jealous? Surely Natsuki supposed that he was walking a fine line of tolerance with Syo, and that was all. As usual.
Syo’s heart was beating just a bit too fast, painfully. He pulled the covers up over his head as if Natsuki would be able to see the guilty flush darkening his cheeks otherwise.
If you’re that in love, then just tell her. Tell Haruka and get it over with. There’s no point; we’re all worried about her, she’s so self-sacrificing it’s hard to watch. But so are you, so… just confess. Please. Stop waiting and making me think I have a chance, please, just-
“I hope Syo-chan will be alright…”
Natsuki’s bed creaked as he turned over, sighing- frozen with tension, Syo could not manage to draw breath.
Syo-chan.
Had he imagined it? Surely. Natsuki had just been talking about Haruka. Haruka, this whole time, the one everyone loved, everyone but Syo, who loved-
Another sleepy sigh from across the room melted Syo’s defenses and ravaged his thoughts at once. He was hopeless, completely hopeless.
He would never tell Natsuki that he had heard, never… still, as he closed his eyes, desperately willing his heart to still, he found himself choosing what words he would use to respond if it was about him. In the darkness, his imagination wrapped him softly in fantasy. Don’t worry. You can tell me anything. I love you, too.
Natsuki. Thank you…
Again he was pitched forward, tumbling, falling… as if into the warmly familiar arms of someone who could exist there, and only there, in the sweet and empty darkness.
~◦☆◦~