(no subject)
STUPIDITY - THIS IS A MUST READ
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (Bit late for that, isn't it?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And I'm taking this because...?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (Somebody help me on this one.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my god...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (Bit late for that, isn't it?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And I'm taking this because...?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (Somebody help me on this one.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my god...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)