angmonster
in
ftm
Better body = more dysphoria = FAIL
I checked the tags, but couldn't find my issue, Please point me in the right direction if I missed something.
Ok, so, top surgery is probably still over a year away for me. My plan was to use the time to get in better shape so that I get a better surgery result/have something to do/have a more masculine shape.
I've been doing the P90X program with some very dramatic results, but instead of feeling better about my body, I feel worse. I look in the mirror and see a male body with a chest that isn't right, and it makes me feel more shitty. It frustrates the hell out of me, because I can see what will be a good chest with well defined pecs under the chest that I'm dealing with currently. I'm pleased with the rest of my body but the chest is really getting me down.
It's weird because this dysphoria is new to me. I mean, obviously my body isn't the way I want it to be right now, but I've always been pretty ok with what I have (in so far as that I have no choice currently, and just kind of get on with things). It's never been an ongoing problem unti now. It would crop up occasionally but never enough to be problematic. Now it's a regular, bordering on constant thing.
Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone have any tips on handling this better? I'm trying to focus on the end result (great body once I've had top surgery), but some days it's harder than others.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Ok, so, top surgery is probably still over a year away for me. My plan was to use the time to get in better shape so that I get a better surgery result/have something to do/have a more masculine shape.
I've been doing the P90X program with some very dramatic results, but instead of feeling better about my body, I feel worse. I look in the mirror and see a male body with a chest that isn't right, and it makes me feel more shitty. It frustrates the hell out of me, because I can see what will be a good chest with well defined pecs under the chest that I'm dealing with currently. I'm pleased with the rest of my body but the chest is really getting me down.
It's weird because this dysphoria is new to me. I mean, obviously my body isn't the way I want it to be right now, but I've always been pretty ok with what I have (in so far as that I have no choice currently, and just kind of get on with things). It's never been an ongoing problem unti now. It would crop up occasionally but never enough to be problematic. Now it's a regular, bordering on constant thing.
Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone have any tips on handling this better? I'm trying to focus on the end result (great body once I've had top surgery), but some days it's harder than others.
Any advice would be appreciated.