skittlewolf
in
ftm
(no subject)
I know this isn't a personal problems LJ but, I just need some help so I will include questions along the way.
I had my endo appointment with Ferry today. I was excited. Had my letter and everything. Until I pretty much had the door shut in my face. If she is the best of the best around here, I'm not too keen of going through legal and nonshady routes at this point if I'm going to be treated this way.
I was pretty much told my letter was useless and that I would have to find another psych and have them write her I was seeing them. She pretty much has forced me into a corner and I have no choice (or time) to bother to find a trans* friendly psych. I have to find someone, anyone NOW or ASAP. If anyone knows any trans- friendly psychs in the North Adams/Pittsfield area, please tell me. Not to mention I need a psychatrist too because I need to have my meds refilled.
Talking about needing another pysch brings me to why I need one. I have BPD, I've been on meds for about two years and they work wonderfully. I'm pretty stable and in a good place in my life. I have stability, surrounded by good friends and have a loving partner. However, despite my therapist's note saying I was good now and that I'm stable and sound enough to start T, I have to find another therapist to write me another letter. Months of working for the letter I have, down the drain and useless because I lived in another state until recently.
Not to mention, she treated me like an ignorant child. She told me, REPEATEDLY, things I already knew, things I explained I knew in DETAIL, yet she kept bringing them up. Over and over again. She kept a babying tone with me that I did not appreciate in the slightest. She was extremely off putting. She acted like my BPD entirely defined me as a person and because of my history and the fact my therapist was out of state, that I had to start from square fucking one.
I'm tired of waiting. Tired of jumping through extra fucking hoops because I just happen to have a mental illness. I have never experienced this kind of hopelessness in my transition. I feel my BPD is just going to stand in my way the entire time, letting me get close but never actually getting anywhere. What the fuck am I to do? I'm really on the verge of giving up. I'm tired of pushing and fighting the fucking system because of the stigmas towards the mentally ill and especially people like myself with the 'incurable' ones. Knowing my luck I'll get a therapist who will deny me a letter based on my BPD alone (not unheard of).
I feel that I would have been better off going in there with no mention of my history, my mental illnesses or even a letter. All these things that are supposed to HELP your transition have severely hindered mine.
I had my endo appointment with Ferry today. I was excited. Had my letter and everything. Until I pretty much had the door shut in my face. If she is the best of the best around here, I'm not too keen of going through legal and nonshady routes at this point if I'm going to be treated this way.
I was pretty much told my letter was useless and that I would have to find another psych and have them write her I was seeing them. She pretty much has forced me into a corner and I have no choice (or time) to bother to find a trans* friendly psych. I have to find someone, anyone NOW or ASAP. If anyone knows any trans- friendly psychs in the North Adams/Pittsfield area, please tell me. Not to mention I need a psychatrist too because I need to have my meds refilled.
Talking about needing another pysch brings me to why I need one. I have BPD, I've been on meds for about two years and they work wonderfully. I'm pretty stable and in a good place in my life. I have stability, surrounded by good friends and have a loving partner. However, despite my therapist's note saying I was good now and that I'm stable and sound enough to start T, I have to find another therapist to write me another letter. Months of working for the letter I have, down the drain and useless because I lived in another state until recently.
Not to mention, she treated me like an ignorant child. She told me, REPEATEDLY, things I already knew, things I explained I knew in DETAIL, yet she kept bringing them up. Over and over again. She kept a babying tone with me that I did not appreciate in the slightest. She was extremely off putting. She acted like my BPD entirely defined me as a person and because of my history and the fact my therapist was out of state, that I had to start from square fucking one.
I'm tired of waiting. Tired of jumping through extra fucking hoops because I just happen to have a mental illness. I have never experienced this kind of hopelessness in my transition. I feel my BPD is just going to stand in my way the entire time, letting me get close but never actually getting anywhere. What the fuck am I to do? I'm really on the verge of giving up. I'm tired of pushing and fighting the fucking system because of the stigmas towards the mentally ill and especially people like myself with the 'incurable' ones. Knowing my luck I'll get a therapist who will deny me a letter based on my BPD alone (not unheard of).
I feel that I would have been better off going in there with no mention of my history, my mental illnesses or even a letter. All these things that are supposed to HELP your transition have severely hindered mine.