Comments | ftm: Could I belong here?

lilvi0r in ftm

Could I belong here?

Apr 01, 2011 23:33

Hey, I discovered this group a week or so ago and now feel like the most naïve/ignorant moron in the world. The extent of my knowledge of transgenderism was a particularly cringeworthy story-arc on Hollyoaks (English teen-based soap).

Having perused the tags I felt were relevant to me I have found myself a label! (I love labels, it’s such a relief ( Read more... )

introductions, mental health-body issues dysphoria

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rainbowxgeek April 2 2011, 04:28:35 UTC

"I’m an idiot for not being aware of the trans-spectrum ( ... )

sneakersjay April 2 2011, 05:20:55 UTC

Heck I was 47 when I figured it out. My only exposure to trans people were those over the top people portrayed on Jerry Springer and the like, and the only ones I ever heard of were MTF. And I had been on the internet regularly since 1995.

I knew since I was 4 I felt male, but just thought I was a tomboy.

rainbowxgeek April 2 2011, 05:31:09 UTC

I didn't particularly feel male, so much as just having an underlying feeling of 'something's not quite right.' Even now, though I identify as male and cringe when I'm referred to by female pronouns, it's not a solid 100% 'I AM A MAN'. So I guess I'm just at some point on the gender spectrum rather than being at the 'endpoint' of 'male'.

lilvi0r April 2 2011, 11:29:40 UTC

Thanks, you've made me feel much better about my ignorance. I hope I'll be able to learn enough here to make an informed decision about what to do in the future. I get what you mean about not being 100%, I think on a scale of 1 - 10, if 1 is 100% female and 10 is 100% male, I'd rate myself around a 7.5-8.
It's been both scary and relieving, but at least now I know there are others out there in a similar situation.

rainbowxgeek April 2 2011, 23:37:36 UTC

I'm glad you feel better. It takes time to learn, and you may find yourself changing as you do. My advice is not to rush through the process. six months ago, I was desperate to be on T by this time. But a few months ago, I realised I needed to slow down (mainly due to depression etc--don't want to put myself through male puberty when my depression is at a very low point). But timing is all personal. There's no right way to transition.

I definitely know what you mean about scary and relieving. I'm glad for this group, because being with others going through it, or who've already gone through it, is helpful and comforting.

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