Invisible Pain
Title: Invisible Pain (5/?)
Author: his_angel16
Pairing: Jaejin/Wonbin, onesided!Jaejin/Hongki
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Jaejin always hid his feelings. When he confessed, he had a chance of changing his words as if he had never spoken them. Now, all he can do is wonder if he had chosen right.
A/N: This was written in one sitting. I'm sorry if it's crappy. Haha.
Chapter Five:
Climbing out of the taxi, Jaejin grabbed Wonbin’s hand, allowing the elder to lead him inside the hotel. Wonbin checked into a suite on the top floor, paying for a week’s worth right from the start. He didn’t know how long they would stay there, but he didn’t want to take any chances. Going up to their room, Jaejin looked around, closing the door behind them.
“Why did you pick an expensive hotel?” he asked, taking in the intricate designs painted on the walls and sewn into the fabric of the bed in the other room.
“It isn’t expensive,” Wonbin replied, pulling off his shirt. “I’m going to take a shower. If you’re hungry, order room service. I’ll only be ten minutes.”
Jaejin nodded, waiting for the elder to go to the bathroom before going over to the phone. He dialed a number, but it wasn’t room service. He sighed in relief at the voice he heard over the line. “Minhwan! Minhwan, listen to me very carefully. Can you meet me alone at the river? I need to talk to you.” He gnawed on his bottom lip, hoping the younger agreed. When he did, a weight seemed lifted off of his shoulders. “Thanks, Minhwan. I really need to tell you something.”
He disconnected the call, digging around in the stand next to him for a forgotten notebook and pen. He scrawled a simple note to Wonbin, promising to be back before too long and that he would be safe. He cast a glance behind him at hearing the water running in the bathroom before turning and slipping out. He hurried down the hall and back out the doors of the hotel, taking off at a sprint toward the river.
Minhwan set the phone down, looking over at Jonghun, sprawled out on the couch as he watched some variety show and laughed randomly at things that weren’t funny to most people. He headed for the door, tugging on his shoes and leaving without saying anything. He left his phone on the counter, next to Jaejin’s, so none of them could contact him. He ducked behind a parked car when he saw that Seunghyun and Hongki were back. Once they were inside, he sprinted down the road, heading off to meet Jaejin at the river.
He noticed the elder standing on the sidewalk, staring at the river as he waited. As he approached, Minhwan kept one thing in mind: he didn’t want to fight with Jaejin. He was tired of them not getting along, of them being at odds with each other. Stopping a few paces behind him, he waited for Jaejin to turn around and waited for him to speak.
“There’s something we need to discuss,” Jaejin started, turning around fully to face Minhwan head-on. “But, I want you to do me a favor first.”
“What’s the favor and why would I do it?” Minhwan asked, his tone a bit colder than he intended.
Jaejin smiled before it faded to a frown and he walked to stand arm’s distance from the younger. “I want you to hit me once.”
Minhwan’s eyes widened at Jaejin’s request. “Why would I hit you?”
“To make things even between us. I hit you when I really had no reason to. You were right, after all. I did love Hongki. I wanted to confess to him yesterday, but I messed up and said that you liked him. I dug my own grave.”
Minhwan took a deep breath, lashing out and hitting Jaejin across the face, the loud smack reverberating off of the water. “First thing is done. What did you want to see me about?”
Jaejin rubbed his cheek, facing the younger again. He sighed, a frown etched onto his face. “I need some time to sort out my feelings.”
Minhwan’s brows knitted together, unsure as to what he meant. “Are you going to give up on Hongki?”
Jaejin shrugged, turning to stare at the river again. “I’m not sure what my heart wants anymore. I need some time to see if there’s any hope of me being with Hongki or with-”
“Don’t say Wonbin,” Minhwan interrupted, causing Jaejin to turn around in confusion. Seeing tears in Minhwan’s eyes confused him even more, but the younger spoke before he had a chance to ask. “I don’t care if you like Hongki, but I’m begging you to not like Wonbin. What are you going to do if he leaves again? You’ll be a mess.”
Jaejin frowned. “You’re saying that you’d rather me like Hongki over Wonbin when there’s a chance that I might take Hongki from you?”
Minhwan nodded, stunning Jaejin into silence as a few stray tears fell. “Knowing that Wonbin could leave you at any moment, doesn’t that scare you?” He looked up at the elder, not bothering to hold back his emotions. “Seeing you like a marionette without it’s puppeteer was horrible for me, for all of us. You were like a statue. Wonbin leaving hurt all of us, but it did more than just that to you. It scarred you.”
Jaejin looked away, unable to face Minhwan as he spoke the truth. “Doesn’t Wonbin reappearing mean that I have a chance to be with him?”
“All it means is that he can hurt you again!”
Sighing, Jaejin turned to face the younger again. “Whatever happens between me and Bin, is no one else’s business.” He smiled before walking over and hugging Minhwan, patting his back. “If you can keep it a secret, come back and hang out with us at the hotel.”
Minhwan frowned as he pulled away. “I won’t tell them where you’re staying.”
Jaejin smiled, taking Minhwan’s hand as he led the way back to the hotel. They walked in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Reaching the hotel, Jaejin smiled when he spotted Wonbin. “Yah, Bin!”
Wonbin’s head snapped up, eyes wide as he hurried over from where he was pacing in front of the hotel. He cupped Jaejin’s face as he mashed their lips together, eyes screwed shut until they parted. “Are you insane?!” he asked, hands still cupping the younger’s face. “After you nearly getting caught and dragged back home by Hongki and Seunghyun, you go running off without me?”
Jaejin smiled, placing his free hand on Wonbin’s. “Yah, don’t be overdramatic. I only went to meet with Minhwan,” he replied, holding up his hand that was linked with the maknae’s. “He and I needed to talk. And I wanted to hang out with him, so I brought him back here.”
Wonbin looked over at Minhwan, the younger dropping his gaze. “Come inside.” Wonbin dropped his hands from Jaejin’s face as he turned, going into the hotel.
“I don’t think I should have come here,” Minhwan whispered, frowning as Jaejin dragged him into the hotel after Wonbin.
In their suite, Wonbin went to the bedroom, the door closed as he sulked and seethed about Jaejin slipping out. Jaejin sat on the couch with Minhwan, the two awkwardly silent as they watched a historical documentary about the rise and decline of Rome. It was only when it ended that either of them spoke.
“Jaejin hyung, I should be getting home,” Minhwan stated, standing. “You don’t mind if I have a drink before I go, do you?”
Jaejin shook his head, Minhwan going into the kitchenette as Wonbin exited the bedroom. Minhwan turned in time to see Wonbin wrap his arms around Jaejin’s waist, pulling the younger’s back to his chest. He stayed quiet in order to eavesdrop, despite his brain telling him that it was wrong.
“Have you decided how you want to make Hongki jealous first?” Wonbin asked, Minhwan feeling his blood boil.
Jaejin sighed. “I’m not sure if I want to anymore.” He turned to face the elder, staring intently into his eyes. “When we kissed in the taxi, my heart was pounding so wildly that people in another country could probably hear it.”
Wonbin smiled. “Are you saying that you like me?”
Jaejin shrugged, resting his cheek against the elder’s shoulder and burying his face in his neck. “I don’t know. Until now, I’ve always thought that I could only love Hongki, but I’m not so sure anymore. I need time to decide.”
Nodding, Wonbin dropped his arms when Minhwan cleared his throat and reentered the room. “I think I’ll go home now.” He headed for the door, Jaejin and Wonbin following after him. Jaejin hailed him a taxi and opened the door, but as he went to step back, Minhwan pushed him inside and dove in after him. “Drive.”
“Yah!” Wonbin hit the door with his hand. “Choi Minhwan, open the door!” He hit it again, the driver glancing at Wonbin as if trying to decide whether or not to go.
“I said drive!” Minhwan ordered, voice raised to where it startled Jaejin. He reached for the door, the younger’s hands whipping out to stop him. “You’re coming home and confirming something for me.”
The taxi drove off, Wonbin running after it until it disappeared down the street. He waved down a taxi for himself, climbing in and ordering him to FT Island’s dorm. He watched as Minhwan dragged Jaejin into the dorm, slamming the door behind them. He got out and went to the building, throwing open the door before freezing. Minhwan shoved Jaejin forward, Hongki reaching out and stopping him from falling.
“Yah, Minhwan, what are you doing with Jaejin?” Jonghun asked, looking from one to the other.
Minhwan ignored him, unable to take it any more. “Hongki, kiss him,” he ordered, pointing at Jaejin. When the elder just stared at him, he stomped his foot. “Now!”
Not sure as to why the younger wanted him to do so, Hongki turned Jaejin to face him. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the younger’s. Jaejin’s eyes were wide before they slid closed, arms snaking around Hongki’s neck as Hongki’s went around his waist. Minhwan frowned, eyes dropping to the floor. He turned to leave, freezing at seeing Wonbin standing there.
“Wonbin,” Jonghun murmured, snapping Jaejin and Hongki out of their kiss. Jaejin pushed Hongki away, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he turned to see Wonbin standing there.
“Bin, let me-”
“It’s clear as to who they hold in their hearts,” Minhwan said, cutting Jaejin off. He glared over his shoulder. “Hongki, I really wanted to believe that you were mine, that I could have you all to myself, but after finding out that Jaejin had feelings for you, I couldn’t let him have you.”
Wonbin felt tears stinging his eyes, taking a step back as Jaejin took a step toward him. “Like Minhwan said, it’s clear as to who you each love,” Wonbin started, jerking away when Jaejin went to touch him. “Don’t touch me, Jaejin.”
“Bin, can we just talk about this?” Jaejin asked, frowning.
Wonbin shook his head, taking another step away. “It’s best if you don’t try to look for me anymore. You can only have one person in your heart and it’s apparent that it isn’t me. I knew that being around you would hurt when the time came to leave. I just didn’t expect such little time to amount to so much pain that it feels like my heart is going to implode.” He turned, hurrying from FT Island’s dorm.
Minhwan stared at Jaejin, eyes scrutinizing the elder. He held in a gasp, eye wide as realization hit him. Jaejin wasn’t going to pick Hongki, he thought to himself. He looked at Hongki, noting his expression was much like the one a person would have after eating nothing but lemons for a week. His mind screamed at him something else that made him want to smack himself for: Hongki wasn’t in love with Jaejin. It was just a brotherly love that made him worry about Jaejin being hurt by Wonbin. "I messed up," he whispered.
Author: his_angel16
Pairing: Jaejin/Wonbin, onesided!Jaejin/Hongki
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Jaejin always hid his feelings. When he confessed, he had a chance of changing his words as if he had never spoken them. Now, all he can do is wonder if he had chosen right.
A/N: This was written in one sitting. I'm sorry if it's crappy. Haha.
Chapter Five:
Climbing out of the taxi, Jaejin grabbed Wonbin’s hand, allowing the elder to lead him inside the hotel. Wonbin checked into a suite on the top floor, paying for a week’s worth right from the start. He didn’t know how long they would stay there, but he didn’t want to take any chances. Going up to their room, Jaejin looked around, closing the door behind them.
“Why did you pick an expensive hotel?” he asked, taking in the intricate designs painted on the walls and sewn into the fabric of the bed in the other room.
“It isn’t expensive,” Wonbin replied, pulling off his shirt. “I’m going to take a shower. If you’re hungry, order room service. I’ll only be ten minutes.”
Jaejin nodded, waiting for the elder to go to the bathroom before going over to the phone. He dialed a number, but it wasn’t room service. He sighed in relief at the voice he heard over the line. “Minhwan! Minhwan, listen to me very carefully. Can you meet me alone at the river? I need to talk to you.” He gnawed on his bottom lip, hoping the younger agreed. When he did, a weight seemed lifted off of his shoulders. “Thanks, Minhwan. I really need to tell you something.”
He disconnected the call, digging around in the stand next to him for a forgotten notebook and pen. He scrawled a simple note to Wonbin, promising to be back before too long and that he would be safe. He cast a glance behind him at hearing the water running in the bathroom before turning and slipping out. He hurried down the hall and back out the doors of the hotel, taking off at a sprint toward the river.
Minhwan set the phone down, looking over at Jonghun, sprawled out on the couch as he watched some variety show and laughed randomly at things that weren’t funny to most people. He headed for the door, tugging on his shoes and leaving without saying anything. He left his phone on the counter, next to Jaejin’s, so none of them could contact him. He ducked behind a parked car when he saw that Seunghyun and Hongki were back. Once they were inside, he sprinted down the road, heading off to meet Jaejin at the river.
He noticed the elder standing on the sidewalk, staring at the river as he waited. As he approached, Minhwan kept one thing in mind: he didn’t want to fight with Jaejin. He was tired of them not getting along, of them being at odds with each other. Stopping a few paces behind him, he waited for Jaejin to turn around and waited for him to speak.
“There’s something we need to discuss,” Jaejin started, turning around fully to face Minhwan head-on. “But, I want you to do me a favor first.”
“What’s the favor and why would I do it?” Minhwan asked, his tone a bit colder than he intended.
Jaejin smiled before it faded to a frown and he walked to stand arm’s distance from the younger. “I want you to hit me once.”
Minhwan’s eyes widened at Jaejin’s request. “Why would I hit you?”
“To make things even between us. I hit you when I really had no reason to. You were right, after all. I did love Hongki. I wanted to confess to him yesterday, but I messed up and said that you liked him. I dug my own grave.”
Minhwan took a deep breath, lashing out and hitting Jaejin across the face, the loud smack reverberating off of the water. “First thing is done. What did you want to see me about?”
Jaejin rubbed his cheek, facing the younger again. He sighed, a frown etched onto his face. “I need some time to sort out my feelings.”
Minhwan’s brows knitted together, unsure as to what he meant. “Are you going to give up on Hongki?”
Jaejin shrugged, turning to stare at the river again. “I’m not sure what my heart wants anymore. I need some time to see if there’s any hope of me being with Hongki or with-”
“Don’t say Wonbin,” Minhwan interrupted, causing Jaejin to turn around in confusion. Seeing tears in Minhwan’s eyes confused him even more, but the younger spoke before he had a chance to ask. “I don’t care if you like Hongki, but I’m begging you to not like Wonbin. What are you going to do if he leaves again? You’ll be a mess.”
Jaejin frowned. “You’re saying that you’d rather me like Hongki over Wonbin when there’s a chance that I might take Hongki from you?”
Minhwan nodded, stunning Jaejin into silence as a few stray tears fell. “Knowing that Wonbin could leave you at any moment, doesn’t that scare you?” He looked up at the elder, not bothering to hold back his emotions. “Seeing you like a marionette without it’s puppeteer was horrible for me, for all of us. You were like a statue. Wonbin leaving hurt all of us, but it did more than just that to you. It scarred you.”
Jaejin looked away, unable to face Minhwan as he spoke the truth. “Doesn’t Wonbin reappearing mean that I have a chance to be with him?”
“All it means is that he can hurt you again!”
Sighing, Jaejin turned to face the younger again. “Whatever happens between me and Bin, is no one else’s business.” He smiled before walking over and hugging Minhwan, patting his back. “If you can keep it a secret, come back and hang out with us at the hotel.”
Minhwan frowned as he pulled away. “I won’t tell them where you’re staying.”
Jaejin smiled, taking Minhwan’s hand as he led the way back to the hotel. They walked in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Reaching the hotel, Jaejin smiled when he spotted Wonbin. “Yah, Bin!”
Wonbin’s head snapped up, eyes wide as he hurried over from where he was pacing in front of the hotel. He cupped Jaejin’s face as he mashed their lips together, eyes screwed shut until they parted. “Are you insane?!” he asked, hands still cupping the younger’s face. “After you nearly getting caught and dragged back home by Hongki and Seunghyun, you go running off without me?”
Jaejin smiled, placing his free hand on Wonbin’s. “Yah, don’t be overdramatic. I only went to meet with Minhwan,” he replied, holding up his hand that was linked with the maknae’s. “He and I needed to talk. And I wanted to hang out with him, so I brought him back here.”
Wonbin looked over at Minhwan, the younger dropping his gaze. “Come inside.” Wonbin dropped his hands from Jaejin’s face as he turned, going into the hotel.
“I don’t think I should have come here,” Minhwan whispered, frowning as Jaejin dragged him into the hotel after Wonbin.
In their suite, Wonbin went to the bedroom, the door closed as he sulked and seethed about Jaejin slipping out. Jaejin sat on the couch with Minhwan, the two awkwardly silent as they watched a historical documentary about the rise and decline of Rome. It was only when it ended that either of them spoke.
“Jaejin hyung, I should be getting home,” Minhwan stated, standing. “You don’t mind if I have a drink before I go, do you?”
Jaejin shook his head, Minhwan going into the kitchenette as Wonbin exited the bedroom. Minhwan turned in time to see Wonbin wrap his arms around Jaejin’s waist, pulling the younger’s back to his chest. He stayed quiet in order to eavesdrop, despite his brain telling him that it was wrong.
“Have you decided how you want to make Hongki jealous first?” Wonbin asked, Minhwan feeling his blood boil.
Jaejin sighed. “I’m not sure if I want to anymore.” He turned to face the elder, staring intently into his eyes. “When we kissed in the taxi, my heart was pounding so wildly that people in another country could probably hear it.”
Wonbin smiled. “Are you saying that you like me?”
Jaejin shrugged, resting his cheek against the elder’s shoulder and burying his face in his neck. “I don’t know. Until now, I’ve always thought that I could only love Hongki, but I’m not so sure anymore. I need time to decide.”
Nodding, Wonbin dropped his arms when Minhwan cleared his throat and reentered the room. “I think I’ll go home now.” He headed for the door, Jaejin and Wonbin following after him. Jaejin hailed him a taxi and opened the door, but as he went to step back, Minhwan pushed him inside and dove in after him. “Drive.”
“Yah!” Wonbin hit the door with his hand. “Choi Minhwan, open the door!” He hit it again, the driver glancing at Wonbin as if trying to decide whether or not to go.
“I said drive!” Minhwan ordered, voice raised to where it startled Jaejin. He reached for the door, the younger’s hands whipping out to stop him. “You’re coming home and confirming something for me.”
The taxi drove off, Wonbin running after it until it disappeared down the street. He waved down a taxi for himself, climbing in and ordering him to FT Island’s dorm. He watched as Minhwan dragged Jaejin into the dorm, slamming the door behind them. He got out and went to the building, throwing open the door before freezing. Minhwan shoved Jaejin forward, Hongki reaching out and stopping him from falling.
“Yah, Minhwan, what are you doing with Jaejin?” Jonghun asked, looking from one to the other.
Minhwan ignored him, unable to take it any more. “Hongki, kiss him,” he ordered, pointing at Jaejin. When the elder just stared at him, he stomped his foot. “Now!”
Not sure as to why the younger wanted him to do so, Hongki turned Jaejin to face him. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the younger’s. Jaejin’s eyes were wide before they slid closed, arms snaking around Hongki’s neck as Hongki’s went around his waist. Minhwan frowned, eyes dropping to the floor. He turned to leave, freezing at seeing Wonbin standing there.
“Wonbin,” Jonghun murmured, snapping Jaejin and Hongki out of their kiss. Jaejin pushed Hongki away, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he turned to see Wonbin standing there.
“Bin, let me-”
“It’s clear as to who they hold in their hearts,” Minhwan said, cutting Jaejin off. He glared over his shoulder. “Hongki, I really wanted to believe that you were mine, that I could have you all to myself, but after finding out that Jaejin had feelings for you, I couldn’t let him have you.”
Wonbin felt tears stinging his eyes, taking a step back as Jaejin took a step toward him. “Like Minhwan said, it’s clear as to who you each love,” Wonbin started, jerking away when Jaejin went to touch him. “Don’t touch me, Jaejin.”
“Bin, can we just talk about this?” Jaejin asked, frowning.
Wonbin shook his head, taking another step away. “It’s best if you don’t try to look for me anymore. You can only have one person in your heart and it’s apparent that it isn’t me. I knew that being around you would hurt when the time came to leave. I just didn’t expect such little time to amount to so much pain that it feels like my heart is going to implode.” He turned, hurrying from FT Island’s dorm.
Minhwan stared at Jaejin, eyes scrutinizing the elder. He held in a gasp, eye wide as realization hit him. Jaejin wasn’t going to pick Hongki, he thought to himself. He looked at Hongki, noting his expression was much like the one a person would have after eating nothing but lemons for a week. His mind screamed at him something else that made him want to smack himself for: Hongki wasn’t in love with Jaejin. It was just a brotherly love that made him worry about Jaejin being hurt by Wonbin. "I messed up," he whispered.