When you said you needed me, did you really need me or was it just someone to hold on to��
We havent even been married a month yet and I'm already ripping my hair out. It's not him nor is it even living with him - It just seems like he feels he's made a mistake. I found out that he'd been talking to his ex on myspace ( the ex that I will ALWAYS come second to, more on that later.) I didnt say anything to him because it's not my place to approach him about it considering I stumbled upon it on accident. It's not my place to confront him about something that isnt a problem or is it? I had been talking to Kassi about it... he read my texts, I'm assuming and found out that I knew. He has the nerve to get mad at me about it. Putting all over the history that :
"Crystal your husband is not a cheater. Don't preach about communication if you can't talk to him about it. You can talk to your friend about it, so how about talking to me about it."
Give me a break, please.
First off, I never accused or even though he would be cheating. I wasn't worried about that, she's thousands of miles away but considering how he talked to that girl Chelsea about me, words are even worse. Yet, he doesnt seem to think that talking to someone, flirting with someone is any different that cheating in person. The magnitude may be less but the effect is not. It hurts people's feelings. If he's wondering what I'm worried about, I'm pretty sure he'd hate it if I was talking to my first love, the one I always mentioned missing, the one he came second to. My first choice.... the one who's pictures remained in my wallet until I found out (by snooping) that he didnt like it. You know, the one that got away. It might not make him cry, but it would damn well hurt him. I dont understand how he could be at a loss as to why this would bother me, he told me I couldnt go out with some guy friends because I thought one of em was cute... as if this ring on my finger is not enough to stop me from doing something stupid. I'm not telling him he cant have friends, but dont hide it. I shouldnt have to ask about it, you should tell me about it.
I dont understand how God let me marry someone that doesnt love me like I love him.
He hates me.
He tells me he only likes me a little, he tells me how his life sucks, nothing good ever happens to him and he's got nothing. And I'm included in that statement. I dont make him happy, I dont give him a reason to smile, in fact... I just piss him off all the time, right?
I pray every night for God to give me the strength to put 200% into this marriage because 100 doesnt amount to anything. He's not worth crying over because none of this hurts him --- so why is God, WHY is he letting me feel this way. I need the strength to work towards helping him open up his eyes. I want all of him, not just the good parts.... I swore he'd never hurt me like this again.
"Crystal your husband is not a cheater. Don't preach about communication if you can't talk to him about it. You can talk to your friend about it, so how about talking to me about it."
Give me a break, please.
First off, I never accused or even though he would be cheating. I wasn't worried about that, she's thousands of miles away but considering how he talked to that girl Chelsea about me, words are even worse. Yet, he doesnt seem to think that talking to someone, flirting with someone is any different that cheating in person. The magnitude may be less but the effect is not. It hurts people's feelings. If he's wondering what I'm worried about, I'm pretty sure he'd hate it if I was talking to my first love, the one I always mentioned missing, the one he came second to. My first choice.... the one who's pictures remained in my wallet until I found out (by snooping) that he didnt like it. You know, the one that got away. It might not make him cry, but it would damn well hurt him. I dont understand how he could be at a loss as to why this would bother me, he told me I couldnt go out with some guy friends because I thought one of em was cute... as if this ring on my finger is not enough to stop me from doing something stupid. I'm not telling him he cant have friends, but dont hide it. I shouldnt have to ask about it, you should tell me about it.
I dont understand how God let me marry someone that doesnt love me like I love him.
He hates me.
He tells me he only likes me a little, he tells me how his life sucks, nothing good ever happens to him and he's got nothing. And I'm included in that statement. I dont make him happy, I dont give him a reason to smile, in fact... I just piss him off all the time, right?
I pray every night for God to give me the strength to put 200% into this marriage because 100 doesnt amount to anything. He's not worth crying over because none of this hurts him --- so why is God, WHY is he letting me feel this way. I need the strength to work towards helping him open up his eyes. I want all of him, not just the good parts.... I swore he'd never hurt me like this again.