[anime] Key The Metal Idol: Ja Tvoi Sluga, Ja Tvoi Rabotnik
Key The Metal Idol is a fabulous 15-episode show made in the mid-90s when they were still making shows without alchemists and vampires. In fact, the theme of that era was robots and how they related to humanity, and this was (I think) the best of the lot. It's kind of a modern-day Pinocchio story, and it has some really excellent direction and design. Even the five seconds of seemingly-random footage that they show before the opening credits of each episode is carefully picked and gives you a foreshadowing of the events to come (without actually giving anything away). I also really like how it tries to make you figure things out on your own without spoonfeedng you everyone's motivations and reactions and so on. Every episode is named after a programming command, like GOTO.
And no, I promise that it's nothing like that wankfest Evangelion.
[[ ZIP OF ALL SONGS: 50 MB ]]
01. Kraftwerk - The Robots [ lyrics ]
Heh heh, an easy choice. In the Japan of the (not so distant?) future, the military is researching ways to use only-slightly-larger-than-life robots (controlled by humans) instead of human soldiers. The problems are that (1) the control center where the human controller is wired up is still about the size of a van and therefore conspicuous and hard to transport, (2) the controllers need to have almost inhuman strength of will, otherwise the metal monstrosities won't move (3) the robots have a bad habit of going berserk and killing all bystanders. Well, that's product development for you! The Ajo Corporation is selling their robot warriors to the Japanese military and sort of...glossing over these facts in their sales demo. They figure that they can fix those little problems if only they could get the renegade scientist Dr. Mima to actually work on it. But the old man, for some reason, refuses to use his skills to build weapons.
02. The Stranglers - Strange Little Girl [ lyrics ]
A very peculiar girl named Tokiko Mima lives with her grandfather in a small village in the mountains. Ever since she was a child, Tokiko - or "Key" - has insisted that she is a robot built by her doll-maker grandfather, and she cannot eat or sleep like humans do. She's very pale with wild hair and a unnervingly unblinking gaze. In a flashback to her childhood, she tried to drink water from a fountain with all the other kids, and immediately passed out. When she woke up, her grandfather, Dr. Mima, told her that he had replaced her worn-out robot body with a new, slightly larger one, and would keep doing that every time her gears broke down.
Key hears that her grandfather has mysteriously died, and hurries to his side in a panic. Besides the fact that she is now alone in the world, Key's robot body will wear down without her brilliant grandfather to repair it. Her grandfather had left a dying message for her on a tape recorder - it tells her to go to Tokyo and make 30,000 friends before her body fails her, and then she can become a human.
"omgwtf?" is Key's reaction,( except with a lot less emotion).
03. Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence [ lyrics ]
So Key goes to Tokyo alone, and finds it to be a very strange and confusing place for innocent robo-loli girls. She gets picked up by a skanky producer who is looking for an underage girl to star in his new AV (Adult Video); when Key asks if it will make her 30,000 friends, he promises her even MORE - if it'll sell well. She asks if being a robot is a problem, and he says no; does she have visible jointing? >3
04. Bjork - Human Behaviour [ lyrics ]
Luckily for Key's innocence, her introduction to the world of Japanese fetish porn is interrupted by the arrival of pizza. The pizza girl is named Sakura Kuriyagawa, an old classmate of Key's from high school who moved to Tokyo. Sakura sizes up the situation, grabs Key's hand, and dashes out into the night, chased by the irate producer and his bouncer. Sakura scolds Key for getting into such a situation, and then offers to let Key stay at her apartment while Key does her 30,000 friend thing. Sakura is working about four jobs at once to make ends meet; she's cheerful and nice but really reaching the end of her rope.
05. Aksent - Kylie
At one of Sakura's jobs (the video store clerk one), Key watches videos playing over the store TVs. The president of a pop singer's fanclub, Shuichi Tataki, comes in with some promo videos of his singer's upcoming tour for Sakura to play, which she does because she has major wood for tha handsome Shuichi. Sadly, Shuichi is a classic otaku who spends his evenings renting kung-fu movies and chatting on teh intarweb about his singing goddess Miho Utsuse. At any rate, Key is fascinated by these concert videos and has the brainwave that if she becomes a singer, she could make 30,000 "friends" that way. Unfortunately for her, this robo-loli girl can't dance, can't sing, and seems to spend her time being picked up by (deliberately) creepy older men who offer to be her talent scout...or who are trying to take her apart to find out the secrets of her grandfather's craft. It's really not a heartwarming show at all.
(p.s. this song makes me crack up every time I hear it; it's about the singer's undying passion for Kylie Minogue...her music's great and all, but he'd really just like to hit that like a quarter pounder with cheese. XD)
06. Fatboy Slim - Sunset (Bird of Prey) [ lyrics ]
Key goes about her idol-singing debut nonsense. Becoming an idol singer is a weird process in Japan, it seems, as you've perhaps seen in things like Perfect Blue. The more you find out about the famous idol singer Miho, the stranger things become; she's also related to the Ajo Corporation and was pretty mediocre until recently when she became amazingly talented and compelling. Key weirds out Shuichi so much that he uses one of his free tickets to Miho's concert to take her, and of course Key manages to cause chaos. A cult leader catches sight of Key and decides that she's his new Messiah. (This is a weird show, but every giggle is sort of tempered by the feeling that something really weird is going on.)
(This song samples a poem of Jim Morrison's; I always thought the mixture of dead singer + modern music to be really unsettling somehow.)
07. Gary Numan - Are 'Friends' Electric? [ lyrics ]
In the meanwhile, the Ajo corporation goons are hunting for Key (the last working perfect robot that Dr. Mima made, and presumably holding the secret to perfectly-controlled human-sized robots...or is that really why they're after her?). They send their huge human robots out through the streets, dressed in tan trench coats, with hats pulled low and shades on to hide their metallic faces. But I don't think anyone would be fooled by the way their weight cracks cement with each step. But whenever they get too close to Key, they go haywire, clutch at their heads, and collapse.
08. Einsturzende Neubauten - Blume (Japanese Version) [ lyrics ]
Miho has to take an indefinite sick leave after the events of her concert, and a new girl is groomed as her replacement. Unfortunately for Beniko, she finds out the truth behind Miho's success. She's young and thinks she's immortal, so she is still willing to take that risk to be successful.
09. Groove Armada - Superstylin' [ lyrics ]
Key goes to another concert, and this time she stands up and sings a single note, causing everything to go nuts as usual.
10. Wedding Present - Red Shoes By The Drugstore [ lyrics ]
Sakura, who has been on the sidelines trying to protect Key without being too jealous of her success, gives something to Key.
11. Lamb - What Sound [ lyrics ]
At the verrrry end of the series, Key sings at a concert. The song, which is supposedly HER BIG SONG, is kind of boring. So instead, have this one!
I swear to god I would not recommend crappy, wanky robot shows to you, or shows about cute dancing idol singer angels! If you like weird fairy tales, or mysteries, or just stories about weird, lonely people doing strange things, please check it out. m(_ _)m Key The Metal Idol is available on three DVDs; you can usually get them mucho cheap on half.com and so on. See, look! $30 for the entire series!
LINKS: This is a good reference page for the series, and if you want a look at the actual series art, try the official page. And finally, here's a much more coherent review of the series.
EDIT: RENT IT FROM NETFLIX
And no, I promise that it's nothing like that wankfest Evangelion.
[[ ZIP OF ALL SONGS: 50 MB ]]
01. Kraftwerk - The Robots [ lyrics ]
Heh heh, an easy choice. In the Japan of the (not so distant?) future, the military is researching ways to use only-slightly-larger-than-life robots (controlled by humans) instead of human soldiers. The problems are that (1) the control center where the human controller is wired up is still about the size of a van and therefore conspicuous and hard to transport, (2) the controllers need to have almost inhuman strength of will, otherwise the metal monstrosities won't move (3) the robots have a bad habit of going berserk and killing all bystanders. Well, that's product development for you! The Ajo Corporation is selling their robot warriors to the Japanese military and sort of...glossing over these facts in their sales demo. They figure that they can fix those little problems if only they could get the renegade scientist Dr. Mima to actually work on it. But the old man, for some reason, refuses to use his skills to build weapons.
02. The Stranglers - Strange Little Girl [ lyrics ]
A very peculiar girl named Tokiko Mima lives with her grandfather in a small village in the mountains. Ever since she was a child, Tokiko - or "Key" - has insisted that she is a robot built by her doll-maker grandfather, and she cannot eat or sleep like humans do. She's very pale with wild hair and a unnervingly unblinking gaze. In a flashback to her childhood, she tried to drink water from a fountain with all the other kids, and immediately passed out. When she woke up, her grandfather, Dr. Mima, told her that he had replaced her worn-out robot body with a new, slightly larger one, and would keep doing that every time her gears broke down.
Key hears that her grandfather has mysteriously died, and hurries to his side in a panic. Besides the fact that she is now alone in the world, Key's robot body will wear down without her brilliant grandfather to repair it. Her grandfather had left a dying message for her on a tape recorder - it tells her to go to Tokyo and make 30,000 friends before her body fails her, and then she can become a human.
"omgwtf?" is Key's reaction,( except with a lot less emotion).
03. Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence [ lyrics ]
So Key goes to Tokyo alone, and finds it to be a very strange and confusing place for innocent robo-loli girls. She gets picked up by a skanky producer who is looking for an underage girl to star in his new AV (Adult Video); when Key asks if it will make her 30,000 friends, he promises her even MORE - if it'll sell well. She asks if being a robot is a problem, and he says no; does she have visible jointing? >3
04. Bjork - Human Behaviour [ lyrics ]
Luckily for Key's innocence, her introduction to the world of Japanese fetish porn is interrupted by the arrival of pizza. The pizza girl is named Sakura Kuriyagawa, an old classmate of Key's from high school who moved to Tokyo. Sakura sizes up the situation, grabs Key's hand, and dashes out into the night, chased by the irate producer and his bouncer. Sakura scolds Key for getting into such a situation, and then offers to let Key stay at her apartment while Key does her 30,000 friend thing. Sakura is working about four jobs at once to make ends meet; she's cheerful and nice but really reaching the end of her rope.
05. Aksent - Kylie
At one of Sakura's jobs (the video store clerk one), Key watches videos playing over the store TVs. The president of a pop singer's fanclub, Shuichi Tataki, comes in with some promo videos of his singer's upcoming tour for Sakura to play, which she does because she has major wood for tha handsome Shuichi. Sadly, Shuichi is a classic otaku who spends his evenings renting kung-fu movies and chatting on teh intarweb about his singing goddess Miho Utsuse. At any rate, Key is fascinated by these concert videos and has the brainwave that if she becomes a singer, she could make 30,000 "friends" that way. Unfortunately for her, this robo-loli girl can't dance, can't sing, and seems to spend her time being picked up by (deliberately) creepy older men who offer to be her talent scout...or who are trying to take her apart to find out the secrets of her grandfather's craft. It's really not a heartwarming show at all.
(p.s. this song makes me crack up every time I hear it; it's about the singer's undying passion for Kylie Minogue...her music's great and all, but he'd really just like to hit that like a quarter pounder with cheese. XD)
06. Fatboy Slim - Sunset (Bird of Prey) [ lyrics ]
Key goes about her idol-singing debut nonsense. Becoming an idol singer is a weird process in Japan, it seems, as you've perhaps seen in things like Perfect Blue. The more you find out about the famous idol singer Miho, the stranger things become; she's also related to the Ajo Corporation and was pretty mediocre until recently when she became amazingly talented and compelling. Key weirds out Shuichi so much that he uses one of his free tickets to Miho's concert to take her, and of course Key manages to cause chaos. A cult leader catches sight of Key and decides that she's his new Messiah. (This is a weird show, but every giggle is sort of tempered by the feeling that something really weird is going on.)
(This song samples a poem of Jim Morrison's; I always thought the mixture of dead singer + modern music to be really unsettling somehow.)
07. Gary Numan - Are 'Friends' Electric? [ lyrics ]
In the meanwhile, the Ajo corporation goons are hunting for Key (the last working perfect robot that Dr. Mima made, and presumably holding the secret to perfectly-controlled human-sized robots...or is that really why they're after her?). They send their huge human robots out through the streets, dressed in tan trench coats, with hats pulled low and shades on to hide their metallic faces. But I don't think anyone would be fooled by the way their weight cracks cement with each step. But whenever they get too close to Key, they go haywire, clutch at their heads, and collapse.
08. Einsturzende Neubauten - Blume (Japanese Version) [ lyrics ]
Miho has to take an indefinite sick leave after the events of her concert, and a new girl is groomed as her replacement. Unfortunately for Beniko, she finds out the truth behind Miho's success. She's young and thinks she's immortal, so she is still willing to take that risk to be successful.
09. Groove Armada - Superstylin' [ lyrics ]
Key goes to another concert, and this time she stands up and sings a single note, causing everything to go nuts as usual.
10. Wedding Present - Red Shoes By The Drugstore [ lyrics ]
Sakura, who has been on the sidelines trying to protect Key without being too jealous of her success, gives something to Key.
11. Lamb - What Sound [ lyrics ]
At the verrrry end of the series, Key sings at a concert. The song, which is supposedly HER BIG SONG, is kind of boring. So instead, have this one!
I swear to god I would not recommend crappy, wanky robot shows to you, or shows about cute dancing idol singer angels! If you like weird fairy tales, or mysteries, or just stories about weird, lonely people doing strange things, please check it out. m(_ _)m Key The Metal Idol is available on three DVDs; you can usually get them mucho cheap on half.com and so on. See, look! $30 for the entire series!
LINKS: This is a good reference page for the series, and if you want a look at the actual series art, try the official page. And finally, here's a much more coherent review of the series.
EDIT: RENT IT FROM NETFLIX