Abridged, Part One [Prince of Tennis: Yanagi, Yukimura, Sanada, Inui]

[fsop]

title: Abridged, Part One.
characters: Yanagi, Yukimura, Sanada, Inui.
inspiration: Prompts from here, more specifically:
50_darkfics (63) - Masterpiece, 100_leitmotifs (73) - the sum of its parts, and 100_leitmotifs (90) - oubliette.
notes: 2330 words. Cathryn read it over for me and insisted it can stand as it is. And though I usually hate the way I end things and rush them and

Comments

[vacivity]

Everyone else comes neatly wrapped in little boxes. Akaya's, Yanagi decides in a moment of whimsy, has a blue ribbon, while Genichirou's is red. This line is perfect. It's very fitting, and somehow very Yanagi. And very teenageish in feeling, him assigning them colored ribbons. I love it.

Sanada and Kirihara would lose control of their emotions completely and degenerate from yelling to nearly coming to blows in a silent fight over who cared more. Showing the similiarities between the two of them. yes yes yes! This is only the beginning of why I love Sanada here so much; he's losing his temper and being so childish but it's so right <3

his position would be between them, a human blockade for hot-tempers Poor Yanagi. I think I pity him more in this than I do Sanada. He wants to be getting something from Yukimura but can't, because he's got to be between them.

And oh, the fact that Yanagi thought about = amazing.

He often defers to Yanagi in moments when his emotions threaten to engulf him completely. ajkfasjfsfssajkfsjkf EM! I love this so much. There's such a balance to them, to all three of them, and you capture it so well here, at least with Sanada and Yanagi. The balance between them - Sanada deferring to Yanagi when his emotions threaten him and Yanagi stopping him when he sees it's something very important.

So in answer to your question... Perhaps not GUH. Knowing Yukimura, this is probably very, very true. Poor Sanada.

You are not afraid to admit, even if it is only to Seiichi or myself, that there are areas in which you are out of your depth. You rely on us at times, making it, for you, a balance of equals. Oh Sanada. :/ I got teary-eyed there, just because it hurt him and he doesn't entirely understand and he's so human here. Willing to admit things, and relying on his friends, and everything. I love him.

Atobe Keigo might be a suitable opponent for your mood. Hehehe. I am amused by that line. I bet he goes out and plays a game against him and they get all antagonistic toward each other and it makes him forget, for a bit.

Sadaharu sent me a blank email again last night Yanagi asking Inui to do that, and then Inui doing it and using it for a starting point. Sneaky. I like that Inui's helping ;)

That paragraph makes me sad, otherwise. :/ Poor Yukimura.

Why does he always forget that with him, Sadaharu can read between the lines? This just. Stands out so beautifully. It says so much about their friendship.

And that entire rewriting thing! It scares him, and I love that, that knowledge can scare him and he's not sure and then he has to go work on math until he's safe. Love, love, love.

conveying to Yukimura the unsettling feeling that after all this time, Inui can read him like an open book. And people wonder why he prefers to keep his eyes shut. More about the Inui stuff, his friendship and now it unsettles him. AND THE LAST BIT, YES! So perfect.

"You tell them to me." Yukimura replies, looking a little confused. It reassures Yanagi, reminds him the only game being played here is his own. He leaves feeling more settled. I have no words for this. Yanagi's getting in over his head and he needs the people involved in his game to remind him of things, sometimes, and then Yukimura's slight confusion, and just. Guh. And it emphasises a point - Yanagi doesn't tell things like that to very many people and the fact that he does to Yukimura says a lot.

I don't know what lines to copy for that entire talk about Yukimura without tennis, because the entire thing is just so. Guh. For everything, even Yanagi doesn't want to think about Yukimura without tennis. It's not right.

The last line is killer.

I love this so far. You need to write more. And more and more and more. :D

[fsop]

I love Sanada; he just slotted his way into the three-way friendship effortlessly and wrote HIMSELF; I was so prepared for it to become about Yanagi's crazy quest to scoop Yukimura into a box and have him all labeled and figured out, predictable like everyone else. Finding ways to create his own facts because what nature was offering him just wasn't enough or wasn't quite RIGHT. And then Sanada got all cute and clueless and hung around like a lost puppy and n'awwww *pets him*.

I'm going to try very hard to write more I swear! I loved my premise so much.