i think i'm freaking out
so next year is a whole new year... it has to be better. I just feel like this year has made me worried about next year. I was finally feeling like things were looking up, and then all the sudden i'm like WOAH, what's going on... i dunno... i'm just scared that next year will be all messed up or something. maybe i've put too much on my plate... i wonder if i can handle it all. I wonder if I will stress myself out so much that i wont know what to do with myself. sometimes i wish i was 5 years old again, when nothing mattered, and i could go to school and play on the swings, and be so excited to ride on the school bus, and cry when andy pott puts a worm in my hair, then be mean to him beacuse of what he did, and explore in the woods and build forts... why is everything so complicated now? why do sudden accidents have to happen and bad things happen to good people, and why do boys have to be boys, and why do girls have to be girls, and why do i have green ink on my arm? who knows... all i know is, i'm praying for things to be alright again, where i can face the day with a smile on my face, saying "it's going to be a good day" rather than... "i hope today wasnt as bad as yesterday" i'm sort of talking in circles, because i know there are tons of people in this world who are worse off than this... i've just never been on an emotional roller coaster until now i suppose... hope i can get off it soon.