Asthma Fucking Sucks.
Somethign really scary happened tonight, I was at the Y, cause my sister had called me and wanted to play raquetball, and I really couldn't say no to her without being a horrible person, so I agreed and we went there but all the raquetball stuff was checked out. She said she was going to go do her own thing or something, so I went to the weight room to lift a little. I hadn't been there since Mock Trial really geared up making it so I couldn't go anywhere, so I was in there lifting for about half an hour, and had done chest press, triceps, calf raises and back extensions and then I did quad lifts. I was really pushing myself, and was feeling alright until quads, when I finished my second set of them, I was feeling really not too hot. The rugular muscle pain was there (the kind that's supposed to be there) but my heart rate was really high and i was sweating a lot. I sat there for a few minutes and it felt that as I rested, I got more and more tired, so I went outside and sat at a table. Over the course of 10 minutes I experienced what I guess was an asthma attack and it was very frightening.
About 5 minutes minutes after I stopped exercising was when it hit me the hardest, so I was sitting there outside getting worse, and eventially I was lying on the table, panting as best I could with a feeling of nausea, fatigue and desperation overtaking me. It's not so much a question of not being able to fill your lungs with air, as the air in your lungs not really doing anything. Your bronchi are inflamed so that despite having air physically go in and out, you're not getting any oxygen. As I sat there almost passing out weird things went through my head, and I was really afraid. I was thinking about survival movies/books like Cast Away or Hatchet and the will to live. I didn't have the energy to call out, I didn't have the energy to get my phone out of my pocket to possibly reach anyone to help me. There was the very real possibility of me passing out right there in front of people because I could not signal anyone for aid. There's a slogan for some asthma awareness group that says "when you can't breathe, nohing else matters" and it seems obvious, but it's true. So after a couple of minute of lying on the table, I lay down/fell on the ground in the patio area to make it easier for my heart to get whatever oxygenated blood I had left in my body circulating. I must have gotten some funny looks, this stupid kid, lying in the dirt. After about 10 minutes of making a concious effort to try and control my heart rate and regulate my breathing I began to come out of it. After 15 minutes I tried to stand up and sort of staggard to the front area and collapsed on a couch. My sister found me after a while and before I mentioned anything she said I looked funny and pale. So that was genuinely frightening, and asthma fucking sucks.
After I regained my senses, I went out to a great dinner with my Mom and sis at Maria's Italian Kitchen, an ate a whole lot, totally negating (and then some) any exercise I did do hours before.