11mo days in maybes:you want me. well c;mon and fuckin break the tide down...im ready.
so long ago i cant remember when they said i lost my only friend, they said she died easy of a broken heart disease i listened thorugh the cemetery trees....
-kelseys qzar extravaganza was this weekend. im really bad at pretending to get all into something. or be all like. well lets just put it this way. im not competitive in any way. i got really tired of gerardo making mexican comments. idk. he seems like a dick. more like hes always come off as a dick to me like always. idk. hes a nice kid. but it tiks me off sometimes how he can act. i felt bad for ali and kels bc their such good ppl but their stuck in btween male LAME hormones. i swear boys are dumb. especially the ones who are already losers to begin w/idk. maybe im too in the not nohow to even be judging. it was fun richelle came too. and there was this mediocore hot lookin punkboy on the bus and these other two cuties i love seeing goodlookin men on the bus. by men i mean like 18-20yr olds the ones that still havent found themselves really but are trying to go somewhere. idk. its the whole mystery of boys on the buss. call me a freak twas who i am. what girl doesnt like seeing someone goodlookin, cuz at least you know theirs somethin cookin on the bus and yer ride wont be as boring...i guess i bus alone all too often. but i like it.
-after the party i called up alex but she felt like poo and i had gone home instead cuz she wasnt there earlier so our tentative plan to hang out went to shit.but sunday we did our polyhedron proj. together so that was sweet.
-school-countdown-10school days. wait 8 weekends dont count. im exxcccittted yet nervous, like nervous to the point im getting sick to my stomach and certain ppl know why... dreams can be horrid to the psyche. in with teh good out with the bad in with the good out tiwht the bad. in with the good out with the bad. in twith the good out with the bad. its a new technique im trying for anger management i breath perfously for 5-10 seconds repeating that.
i really havent added shit in here it seems im letting it all out. so sorry i might seem spazy.
for english i gotta analyze 4 poems ive written. i dont know which ones to do. i know my teacher is more than 75*/* sure he'll read em. why? well were just cool like that w/ each other. but then again which of his students isnt? so im not sure. im gonna look through my lj and pick a couple ive put in here in the past.
all last week and a couple days in the week b/4 i stopped talking to her. this whole week and next i plan to as well. its not that im planning on it. its like now i dont have that subconciously lurking in my mind. alex is gonna go to the bday party. so i jsut want to go there FUCKKKKEEEEEDDDDD UP. i dont care. i dont care if i ruin it for her. its like. bitch you fucking owe me. its liek she doesnt care so why the fuck should i? i just cant believe this is over. "your something like a phenomenon, something like a phenomenon, baby your somethin like a phenomenon."
i dont thinnk i have ever felt as lonely. well not lonely . but mroe like viedwed myself to be so disconnected w/ friends and ppl as much as now. i have become the epitome of the girl i feared to become one day. and least of all ame begning to find comfort in it. im just soo over ppl and shit. and just this whole school year all together. i just want a clean slate.
it seems as if my mind has been at the same state for so long now. like im re playing the same record over and over and over again. finding new songs to replay over and over and even stick with the same ones bc you know those lyrics so well. that feeling and know how to perfect it, and manipulate it to fit any situation. but maybe it wont be until summer when this envy i have for this coccooon to shed that, this dream wILL become the reality ive been urging so much for to come alive.
-kelseys qzar extravaganza was this weekend. im really bad at pretending to get all into something. or be all like. well lets just put it this way. im not competitive in any way. i got really tired of gerardo making mexican comments. idk. he seems like a dick. more like hes always come off as a dick to me like always. idk. hes a nice kid. but it tiks me off sometimes how he can act. i felt bad for ali and kels bc their such good ppl but their stuck in btween male LAME hormones. i swear boys are dumb. especially the ones who are already losers to begin w/idk. maybe im too in the not nohow to even be judging. it was fun richelle came too. and there was this mediocore hot lookin punkboy on the bus and these other two cuties i love seeing goodlookin men on the bus. by men i mean like 18-20yr olds the ones that still havent found themselves really but are trying to go somewhere. idk. its the whole mystery of boys on the buss. call me a freak twas who i am. what girl doesnt like seeing someone goodlookin, cuz at least you know theirs somethin cookin on the bus and yer ride wont be as boring...i guess i bus alone all too often. but i like it.
-after the party i called up alex but she felt like poo and i had gone home instead cuz she wasnt there earlier so our tentative plan to hang out went to shit.but sunday we did our polyhedron proj. together so that was sweet.
-school-countdown-10school days. wait 8 weekends dont count. im exxcccittted yet nervous, like nervous to the point im getting sick to my stomach and certain ppl know why... dreams can be horrid to the psyche. in with teh good out with the bad in with the good out tiwht the bad. in with the good out with the bad. in twith the good out with the bad. its a new technique im trying for anger management i breath perfously for 5-10 seconds repeating that.
i really havent added shit in here it seems im letting it all out. so sorry i might seem spazy.
for english i gotta analyze 4 poems ive written. i dont know which ones to do. i know my teacher is more than 75*/* sure he'll read em. why? well were just cool like that w/ each other. but then again which of his students isnt? so im not sure. im gonna look through my lj and pick a couple ive put in here in the past.
all last week and a couple days in the week b/4 i stopped talking to her. this whole week and next i plan to as well. its not that im planning on it. its like now i dont have that subconciously lurking in my mind. alex is gonna go to the bday party. so i jsut want to go there FUCKKKKEEEEEDDDDD UP. i dont care. i dont care if i ruin it for her. its like. bitch you fucking owe me. its liek she doesnt care so why the fuck should i? i just cant believe this is over. "your something like a phenomenon, something like a phenomenon, baby your somethin like a phenomenon."
i dont thinnk i have ever felt as lonely. well not lonely . but mroe like viedwed myself to be so disconnected w/ friends and ppl as much as now. i have become the epitome of the girl i feared to become one day. and least of all ame begning to find comfort in it. im just soo over ppl and shit. and just this whole school year all together. i just want a clean slate.
it seems as if my mind has been at the same state for so long now. like im re playing the same record over and over and over again. finding new songs to replay over and over and even stick with the same ones bc you know those lyrics so well. that feeling and know how to perfect it, and manipulate it to fit any situation. but maybe it wont be until summer when this envy i have for this coccooon to shed that, this dream wILL become the reality ive been urging so much for to come alive.