May 09, 2004 18:24
When you don't have to love someone, makes it easier to fall inlove with someone else. Of course, I'm not inlove yet. For over a year and a half I've had to love someone else's mistakes, and I was unhappy- but I couldn't see it. I could only see what I wanted to, and sometimes wanting something to work- making somethig work... isn't good enough. Right now, I'm in the middle of being in happily ever after. I've awaken from a technicolor Oz and now I'm back in Kansas. Every ounce of emotion that comes out of me is pure. I'm clean now, rid of my disease. When I look on it, when I take a second to think about why I went back out with him, I understood. That whole time I searching inside of him for something that wasn't there. I needed him to be there for me, and when he wasn't the first 3 or 50 times- that should have been my first clue. I should have realized how patheic he really is. I've ignored his existence for 2 weeks. It's sad that 2 straight weeks was enough time for me to completly get over him. I can say Chris with no emotion. Just another name like Reid, John, Peter, Steven, and Jefferson. I love it. I love this. I'll end this note on a happy note, since I have to go and set the table for dinner. <3
Happy Mother's Day. <3