Whose Dreams Did America Have, Anyway?
PBS World just re-ran a special from four years back about the theme of the American Dream and famous novels that explored it in differing fashions: The Great Gatsby, The Grapes of Wrath, The Street, Seize The Day and a few others. I watched it and began having thoughts related to my own life and work.
I am definitely NOT living the American Dream. I don't have a place of my own, a career of my own, nor a family from my own loins. But at the same time, I haven't gone back on my own morals to pursue schemes for quick gain, nor risked overmuch, nor tried to redefine my own self in ways to please others. That dream I linked to on the Writer's Block the other day--the alternative reality me that HAD somehow gotten himself the American Dream life...I have absolutely NO idea how he did it. And maybe I don't want to know.
There is all sorts of magical thinking involved, of course. But I realize that my lack of success doesn't really mean failure...just as sure as a lack of disasters doesn't mean the blessings of heaven. The world is random and unfeeling and cold and unfair and run by some laws we understand and some laws we will never understand. Looking for much more meaning than that can drive a person crazy.
Maybe my blind spot towards immediate, worldly success is something fundamental about my character that I shouldn't try to mess with. Not all people are built the same way.
I am definitely NOT living the American Dream. I don't have a place of my own, a career of my own, nor a family from my own loins. But at the same time, I haven't gone back on my own morals to pursue schemes for quick gain, nor risked overmuch, nor tried to redefine my own self in ways to please others. That dream I linked to on the Writer's Block the other day--the alternative reality me that HAD somehow gotten himself the American Dream life...I have absolutely NO idea how he did it. And maybe I don't want to know.
There is all sorts of magical thinking involved, of course. But I realize that my lack of success doesn't really mean failure...just as sure as a lack of disasters doesn't mean the blessings of heaven. The world is random and unfeeling and cold and unfair and run by some laws we understand and some laws we will never understand. Looking for much more meaning than that can drive a person crazy.
Maybe my blind spot towards immediate, worldly success is something fundamental about my character that I shouldn't try to mess with. Not all people are built the same way.