Spooling Through
That nightmare the other night was just the start of a very nerve-racking depressive episode the whole day (Monday). To attempt to burn it out of my system, I drove to Maryville and Alcoa, just for the change of scenery. It didn't quite work, but I was worn out enough to take a nap later that afternoon.
At this point in my life, there is nothing that I want so badly I feel the need to make any sort of real effort towards it. The years just blast past my face like water from a firehose. I don't have the resources to do much of anything worthwhile. I just scold myself inside, with the words that if I were truly intelligent, I would have invented a way out of my circumstance. I've had a decade and a half, and wasted every second of it. But I can't see how I could have done any better.
I'm still working through it all. I don't know what, if anything, can come of it.
FP
At this point in my life, there is nothing that I want so badly I feel the need to make any sort of real effort towards it. The years just blast past my face like water from a firehose. I don't have the resources to do much of anything worthwhile. I just scold myself inside, with the words that if I were truly intelligent, I would have invented a way out of my circumstance. I've had a decade and a half, and wasted every second of it. But I can't see how I could have done any better.
I'm still working through it all. I don't know what, if anything, can come of it.
FP