~Fic: You never listen to me, I warned you

[zarla]

HEY DO YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING DEPRESSING THAT'S BEEN SITTING AROUND FOR AGES WELL HERE YOU GO!!!

Title: We Do What is Necessary
Pairing: Unrequited DAX->ZEX mostly, on a backdrop of ZEX/Captain as usual
Rating: PG for some violence I guess
Summary: The High Council has had enough. They've taken ZEX into custody after hearing about his liasons with a certain human captain, and now he's to be put to death. In the resulting media fracas, DAX comes up with one way out.
Notes: Based on some old sketches I came up with a while back while watching the news, and if you remember them then you'll know how this ends (basically death). Sort of goes along with the whole Secret Theater thing, although with a darker ending.


Click.

A VUX female on the screen, a newscaster wearing a tasteful and expensive assortment of jewelry on her head tentacles, which always move smoothly and calmly. A large headline to the left, "Assassination Shocks Populace", and a crawl to the right of less important news.

She reads with a calm, even voice, each word scripted, changing just so on the appropriate words to appeal to the most listeners. She has the practiced ease of someone who had been doing this for years, someone who based their life and career on being able to say anything and pretend to care enough for it to be interesting.

"...took into custody DAX, charged with the murder of his former commanding officer, the disgraced once-admiral ZEX."

A picture appears near the bottom of the screen of a fairly nondescript VUX male.

"Information on DAX is fragmentary, and his relationship with his commanding officer shrouded in mystery. What would drive a VUX to kill another in cold blood, and one that they had served so loyally? For more information, we go to ZIK on the scene. ZIK?"

A VUX female standing in front of an old, weathered building, conservatively and tastefully dressed, silver bands on her head tentacles.

"Thank you, VEN. It is a somber day here at the courthouse where the infamous Admiral ZEX was being held during his trial for crimes too unspeakable to mention here." She gestures at the building behind her. "The once celebrated war hero fell from grace over twenty years ago, and was exiled to the outskirts of our territory near Alpha Cerenkov. Despite the High Council's generosity towards someone of his unnatural interests, Admiral ZEX saw fit to spite them, and all of us, by disregarding everything that is proper and right in favor of satiating his own unholy desires. After refusing to cooperate with the High Council's request to cease his nefarious activity, he staged a rebellion on his world, resulting in a senseless loss of life before he was brought to justice, along with some of his more vocal supporters. The enigmatic DAX, center of this controversy, was among them."

"What can you tell us about this DAX?"

"Very little is known about DAX, who served beneath the Admiral during the Great War as his Sub-commander. Those that knew them characterize their relationship as 'close', although there seem to be no more specifics than that, and none of DAX's family can be found for comment. While the few survivors from the Cerenkov Insurrection have corroborated that the two of them were supposedly on good terms, they have not offered any explanation for DAX's strange decision that fateful day."

"Did DAX have a grudge against ZEX? Any motive for killing him?"

"Many have called for ZEX's immediate execution, and while the disgust that one feels towards the disgraced Admiral is understandable and almost ubiquitous, no one has been able to provide a more personal motive for the killing, including DAX himself. He has remained completely silent since he was arrested, with the exception of one statement."

"What statement was that?"

"He reportedly said," she pauses for effect, "'It was the hardest thing I've ever done,' and that was all."

"Certainly food for thought."

"Yes, it only seems to add to the growing questions circulating this sordid affair."

"Do you think that perhaps ZEX was blackmailing him to keep him on Cerenkov? That would certainly make someone angry enough to do something rash."

"We can't rule out the possibility, VEN. We've only been able to sketch a loose profile of our solitary, silent killer, and given that he will soon stand trial himself for murder, we may never learn the whole truth."

"How close was the High Council to a verdict before ZEX was killed?"

"They were reportedly quite close, VEN. We have some clips from the trial, although they didn't allow us to record footage for any long period of time."

"Was it frightening to be in a room with someone like ZEX?"

"Yes, but they took precautions to ensure everyone's safety. He was firmly restrained throughout most of the trial, although he said he had no intentions of any further violence."

"Well, given his poor character..."

"Yes, he wasn't exactly the type of person you could trust, with all that he's done."

"It's a good thing they kept him under control then. Someone with desires like that... who knows what they could do at any moment."

"Very true, VEN, very true, and something that's also been a contentious point during the course of the trial."

"His character?"

"Yes, his-"

"The center of the trial, isn't it?"

"Yes, it was a key point. Given his unpredictable, unnatural behavior that clearly showed his lack of any moral character, any testimony he gave had to be considered very carefully for falsehoods or manipulations."

"Were there any other witnesses?"

"Some of those who survived his attack on the High Council's peacekeeping force described his behavior before he was arrested. They also interviewed some of the VUX taken with him from Cerenkov, but found their testimony unreliable."

"Biased."

"Yes, very biased towards him."

"Not very good witnesses then."

"Sadly no, which is unfortunate because they would have most likely had the most information on the levels of depravity that ensued on Cerenkov before anyone investigated, or the resulting mental decay that ZEX suffered as a result. It is a shame that their testimony on such things can't be trusted as a result of ZEX's brainwashing."

"It might be better that no one really knows what went on there."

"A good point, VEN, and I'm sure our viewers are better off not knowing. Here is a clip taken from the trial. We do warn you that this may contain offensive material, and you may want to take your children from the room. However, we have an obligation to show the truth, regardless of how unpleasant it may be. This footage was taken two days before ZEX was brutally killed by his former second-in-command."

The screen cuts to a fairly dark room filmed by an unmoving camera. On the right, pillars of light illuminate the seats of the High Council members, while on the left, a single chair near a weaker light holds the accused; an older VUX looking much the worse for wear, arms firmly bound behind him and a guard by his side.

"And we are to understand that the human willingly agreed to this union?" The Council Member's voice is tinny and accompanied by subtitles along one side of the screen.

ZEX's voice is soft, barely audible, but calm. "Yes."

"And you do not deny your own participation, your machinations that allowed this to occur? That this was something you actively pursued and desired?"

"I do not." Still quiet, difficult to hear over the murmurs of outrage and disgust from the other Council members.

"Are you aware, ZEX, of the reprehensibility of these actions? That any sane person would revile them as disgusting, unnatural, perverse in a way that speaks of severe mental dysfunction?"

There is a pause, a soft dripping sound. ZEX is bleeding. "That some would see them that way, yes."

Commotion, voices rising and mixing into an unintelligible mass captioned as [shouting] before it settles again. "And you do not agree with this assessment?"

Another long pause. ZEX touches his tongue to a head feeler resting limp.

"I regret nothing."

The screen cuts back to ZIK, standing in front of the same building.

"At that point, the discussion got somewhat heated and we were asked to turn our cameras off for the day, but you can get a sense of how the former Admiral conducted himself during the proceedings."

"Rebellious to the last, hmm?"

"Very much so, VEN. ZEX showed no respect to authority whatsoever while he was incarcerated, up to the very day he died."

"He looked injured, was he injured?"

"Someone of ZEX's poor character and judgment cannot be trusted, and he attempted to resist his guard's advice and directions several times. Unfortunately, they had to resort to force on occasion to get him to comply."

"I see, I see. Has there been any more information released about DAX?"

"Not yet. He still refuses to speak to anyone about what happened, despite our best interrogators trying to coax it out of him. It seems that he and ZEX are both too stubborn for their own good, VEN."

"Looks like they'll probably end up the same way, won't they?"

"Most likely. The High Council doesn't look favorably on murder, especially of a prisoner in their custody, no matter how well it may have been deserved."

"I can't imagine they would. Has there been any new information from the crime scene itself?"

"The guards responsible that night have all been summarily discharged, but even they didn't have much to tell. It came as a shock to everyone, VEN. No one saw this coming."

"It certainly wasn't how I was expecting this to turn out."

"It's particularly strange because DAX seems so completely unremarkable, apart from being antisocial and ill-mannered. From the reports we've received, he seems to have had a relatively normal childhood and adulthood without any history of mental illness. It's unknown what caused him to snap that night."

"Sometimes you never can tell, right, ZIK? No one knew ZEX would turn out this way, for example..."

"Truly a tragic waste of genius, VEN."

"Do we have a timeline for what happened that night?"

"We've managed to stitch one together from some witness reports, but the details are still rather vague..."

...

Ideally, he would have had years to prepare for this. With how things were going, he had at best a few days. He couldn't afford to prepare himself as much as he would have liked, but it would hardly be the first time that his Admiral's needs had outweighed his own.

He promised the guards, the authorities, that he would be able to get an entire confession from ZEX, repentance for his sins, a public apology. Calm and confident, with their history together known well enough, they gave him the opportunity to speak with him, although ZEX would stay behind bars during the discussion.

It wouldn't make a difference either way.

Their vanity, confident that there was no way that ZEX would escape his inevitable fate, no way that DAX could break him free with so many guards around, made their frisking of him cursory and short. DAX agreed that ZEX had to be stopped, that he'd come here to reason with ZEX and persuade him to give in, and they were pleased that someone from Cerenkov had reformed.

At least, to their knowledge.

He'd spent some time the night before thinking and going over his plan. Imagining what ZEX would say. He had a good idea of it. He tried to envision the moment, cold and clear in his mind, and it happened with a complete emotional detachment that he knew would probably be impossible to achieve in reality.

He'd known ZEX for far too long for this not to affect him.

He'd known ZEX for far too long to allow this to happen to him.

He walked down the short hallway to ZEX's cell alone. The guards honored his request for privacy (ZEX would not be willing to repent if there were other witnesses, he told them, and they believed him) by staying some distance away. DAX tried to keep his body language neutral, although he couldn't stop his head tentacle's fluttering when he finally caught sight of ZEX. His Admiral was curled up on a small cot near the wall, beaten and bruised and stained with dried blood. He could tell, by their unnatural stillness, that several of his head feelers had been permanently damaged.

No doubt his guards did not care what state they left him in, as ZEX would not be alive for long once the High Council made their decision.

DAX stood there, watched him breath for a few moments, watched ZEX's tail twitch every now and then.

"I told you this would happen, sir," DAX said, quietly. ZEX's few working head feelers perked at his voice, and he slowly turned and sat up. His eye was swollen and red.

"DAX?" Confused and a bit rough. He got up, unsteadily, and limped over to the bars. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, sir." DAX kept his voice quiet. "They allowed me to do so."

"Hmm." A glance towards the end of the hallway, and a dismissive noise. "No doubt believing you'd convince me to repent, am I correct?"

DAX raised and lowered his head feelers. "Yes, sir."

"Ah." ZEX's normal jovial mood was gone, although that was no surprise given the circumstances. He was suspicious, angry somewhat, but again, DAX found it justified. He gave DAX an appraising look. "You have no such intentions."

It wasn't a question, and DAX didn't treat it as one. "It gave me an opportunity to meet with you, sir."

"You must have something important in mind," ZEX said slowly, thinking. Still quick on his feet, despite his poor condition. "What is it?"

"...I told you this would happen, sir." A wavering in DAX's voice for a moment. "Why didn't you listen to me?"

"I regret nothing," ZEX said, a bit shortly. "Surely you didn't come to hear me say that? You could have watched the news instead."

"No, I didn't."

ZEX looked at him, his few mobile head tentacles reaching towards him. "Then what is it?"

DAX thought that the occasion might have deserved a speech, some kind of explanation for his loyalty, of the impact ZEX had had on his life, of his appreciation for the years they'd spent together. He'd never been much of a talker, however, and speeches were difficult. But if there was any occasion where he should try, this would be it.

"I've known you for many years, sir..." DAX said, and ZEX blinked at him curiously. "I suppose somewhere I knew this was inevitable."

"Mm, you and I both." ZEX again glanced at the end of the hallway, feelers flicking in irritation. "I knew the High Council wouldn't keep their word. They'd never leave me in peace as long as they knew I was out there, rejecting them and their close-minded 'rules'."

ZEX would go into a rant if not redirected. DAX tried to keep his words quick and level. "You've always been a peerless leader, sir, and one I felt comfortable following."

ZEX looked back to him, blinking slowly.

"Even when you broke from society, began... venturing into unknown territory, I never felt unwelcome by your side, or that I served someone who did not deserve my admiration and respect."

ZEX was staring at him, perhaps realization dawning on him as to why DAX would say something that he normally would never put into words, and he reached out an arm through the bars a bit tentatively. DAX watched him for a few seconds, thought about it, then decided that given the circumstances, it would be acceptable. He took ZEX's arm and curled his own around it.

"We did not agree on many things, but it would never make me your enemy. You are my leader, and I would... I will follow you to the grave with no regrets."

ZEX's head feelers fell slightly, and he gave DAX's arm a soft squeeze. It was difficult, suddenly, for DAX to keep his voice level.

"You and I both know that the High Council will find you guilty of treason and crimes against nature. They will probably torture you before they put you to death as slowly as possible."

ZEX blinked in slow agreement.

"I... do not think that is how someone of your caliber should die, or that you deserve such a fate. I do not think you should suffer needlessly just to satisfy them."

ZEX watched him carefully, giving his arm another gentle pulse. He spoke quietly. "DAX, what do you have planned?"

"I..." DAX wondered if he should say more, perhaps take this opportunity to reveal what he'd kept secret for countless years since this would most likely be his last chance, but instead he squeezed ZEX's arm in return and continued. "I brought a pistol with me, sir. They did not find it. They're confident that you have no escape, and that my change of heart was genuine." DAX leaned in a bit closer to the bars. "It would be quick, sir. I will do this for you, if you ask."

"Hmm..." Tired and rough, looking down. "My final rebellion, denying the High Council the fate they've no doubt carefully planned for me. Spiting them with my last breath... that does appeal. I've no inclination to be tortured for them either."

"Sir..." His voice shook slightly, and he leaned forward against the bars. ZEX echoed his movement, close enough for his few head feelers to reach out and twist with DAX's own.

"Would you be able to do something like that for me?" ZEX said, with the same lack of emotion as when he drew out plans in battle. "Are you capable of that, DAX?"

"I am, sir." DAX closed his eye.

"Are you sure?" ZEX said, penetrating in a strange way. "You've known me for a long time... it will be difficult, without question. You've risked your life to defend me several times over... could you really kill me?"

"I could," DAX said, with some difficulty. "I will, if you ask. I swore that I would do anything for you when I came into your service."

"I wonder..." ZEX said, again in a way that DAX found uncomfortable, and he sighed. "I am so tired, DAX... a quick death would not be so bad. Far preferable to the alternative." And for a moment, a tinge of sorrow to his voice that had been absent up to this point. "A shame that I'll never see my human again..."

"You knew this would happen, sir," DAX said softly, head feelers twisting tighter around ZEX's. "Your relationship was doomed from the start... neither species would have let it continue."

"I know..." ZEX sighed, long and sad. DAX opened his eye to look at him and found ZEX again looking down to the floor. "For a time, it was pleasant to pretend... I regret nothing."

"Except getting caught."

"Except that, yes." A faint hint of laughter. "Up to that point, things were going quite well, I think..."

DAX paused, trying to summon up the same light tone his Admiral had and couldn't, and his next words were choked out with difficulty. "So you say, sir."

"Oh DAX." Pity in his voice now. "It's a shame you got caught up in this entire thing. I know this is difficult. Are you sure that you can do it?"

"I... I can, sir."

"Well..." Not entirely convinced, and ZEX's head feelers stroked his own in a kind of comforting, parental way. "If you have anything to say to me, then now would be the time." A pause. "Have you said everything you wanted to, DAX?"

Not exactly, and he wondered for a moment if he should, if it would make a difference. If it would mean anything if he did, but this was his last chance. He would never see or speak to ZEX again.

"I've always..." With extreme difficulty, tensing with the effort of trying to find words, and ZEX's entangled feelers kept their supportive movement. He squeezed DAX's arm again, to try and keep him going. "You are... very important to me, sir."

"I know." Softly, and silently still encouraging him to continue. Expressing emotions were never DAX's strong point... it was painful.

"You are..." Still struggling, and breathing hard a little. "You are a singular person... my life would not have been the same without you."

Even now, as close as he was to the end, putting a word to the feeling he'd been carrying for so long, something he'd kept carefully repressed for years upon years, to never be acted upon and never acknowledged, was still too difficult. ZEX kept encouraging him, still not saying a word.

"Losing you..." A pause, searching for better words. "I've been..." He touched a head feeler with his tongue. "You've always had my... deepest respect."

He couldn't force the words to come, and ZEX's tongue touched his face once or twice.

"I know what you're trying to say," ZEX murmured. "You've always been quiet, DAX. It must be difficult."

"Mm." A quiet noise.

"I appreciate it," ZEX said, squeezing his arm again. "I've suspected as much, but I didn't want to force you." A short pause. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"I can," DAX said, feeling exposed and disliking it greatly. "You can trust me, sir."

"You won't have a second chance, DAX." ZEX's voice hardened. "They won't give you or me one. You will have to do it quickly and without hesitation, otherwise it will be for nothing. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." An automatic response to a command from him.

"You cannot hesitate, DAX. Once you've decided to do this, you cannot turn back. Are you sure you can do this?"

"Why do you doubt me?" DAX said, voice evening back to his more natural tone. "You should know me by now."

"I do know you." ZEX looked at him. "But I've never asked you to do something like this for me before."

"You can trust me, sir." DAX took a deep breath. "I won't let them hurt you further."

"If that is true..." ZEX sighed somewhat. "Then we should do it soon, before they decide to check on our conversation. Have you said everything you needed to say?"

DAX paused for a second. "Yes, sir."

"And I've always been open with you. I don't know what to tell you except that you were an exceptional soldier, and loyalty like yours was a rare commodity, and one that I deeply appreciated." ZEX looked at him, pulled a bit on his head feelers. "Unless there is something else you want me to say to you?"

DAX thought about it for a second. He knew his Admiral had no regrets, and was not sorry for what he had done. He knew he was important to him, as he'd just made clear, and had told him on occasion back home.

ZEX was watching him as he thought about it, and he touched his face with his tongue again. "I do care for you, if that is what you're wondering."

"I know you did, sir," DAX said, softly. The question was really how much, but somehow asking that now seemed inappropriate.

"And if I believed in the Creator..." ZEX flicked his tongue. "Then I would say that we'd meet again, After."

DAX looked down. "After... if there is an After."

"Yes, if there is. How about that, DAX? If I am there, After, I will make sure to find you again."

"What makes you think we both wouldn't be Condemned?"

"Then I'll still find you, somehow." ZEX sighed a bit. "Although I don't think it will matter either way... I think this will be our final meeting, when it comes down to it."

"Yes, sir." Softly.

"Are you ready, DAX? Are we finished?"

"...I suppose so, sir." DAX was starting to shake slightly, tension and stress getting to him. "Is this the time for goodbye?"

"If you think so." ZEX leaned in closer to him, head feelers twisting close and slowly around DAX's own, which responded with an intimacy he wouldn't have allowed himself otherwise. The bars between them separated them from coming closer to one another, but twisting arms around one another in a brief embrace was something. Too brief, and too far apart, too little too late perhaps, but there was no more time now. "Goodbye, Sub-commander DAX. Perhaps I will see you again after all."

He knew he wouldn't.

DAX took a deep breath, for the moment enjoying being so close to him, how his skin and feelers felt against his own, tried to memorize it and steel himself for the moment that was coming. He'd shot other VUX before, he'd killed before, surely this wouldn't be so different if it happened quickly enough so he didn't think.

A voice jolted him out of his reverie... one of the guards left down the hallway. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Now, DAX," ZEX hissed, urgently and with an authority that DAX didn't question, and he pulled away from him in one smooth movement, arm going beneath his clothing to find where he'd hidden his weapon.

"Goodbye, Admiral." Quickly, his voice strained near the end with nerves as he pulled the weapon free. ZEX stood straight at attention, staring directly at him without blinking.

"Hey! HEY!" The sound of footsteps coming closer. No hesitation.

DAX pulled the pistol up, aimed it directly at ZEX's head without wavering, and squeezed. A flare of light and a sharp crystalline noise, accompanied by a wet tearing sound as the laser cut through ZEX in less than a second. He fell backwards in a graceful arc, blood spattering onto the floor beneath him, into a limp and broken heap. Gone.

DAX dropped the pistol and fell to his knees, shivering, and did not resist when the guards descended on him.

He did what he came for.

He did not much notice or care when they arrested him, beat him, demanded answers for what he'd done. None of that mattered. All he saw was ZEX's dead body, still and silent, whether his eye was open or closed. All he thought about were those last moments that they spent together, each word they had exchanged before the end, how ZEX did not flinch before the blast took his life.

DAX gave one statement, and then said nothing else. No one was listening, even though they asked him questions constantly. They wouldn't hear his answer.

ZEX probably wouldn't get a proper burial, and neither would he. Maybe they really would end up Condemned in the eye of the Creator, forever tormented together for going against the Plan.

He didn't mind the idea.

Unable to find anything sharp to truly give the idea permanence, he pulled off one of his head feelers to write ZEX's epitaph, hoping that his blood would stain the cell wall if nothing else. Beneath his cot, somewhere that would be difficult to see and where it would hopefully remain unseen until it stained the wall semi-permanently, he wrote some words for his commanding officer, the few ever written that would be true.

Nearly blinded with pain, he crouched on the floor and forced himself to trace out the symbols, close to the wall and small enough to hopefully be overlooked, trying for legibility even while the tip of his arm shook.

Admiral ZEX died not for his people, but for his beliefs. DAX managed to write through a tearing eye. He was a brilliant leader, and those loyal to him gladly gave their lives in his service. Shaking and feeling sick from the pain, his torn head feeler still writhing on the floor near him, he touched the wound on his head again, forced himself to write the letters out. He was loved, despite what everyone may claim.

By a human or by one of his soldiers, the specifics didn't matter. He felt too dizzy to carry on and went to lie down.

His trial began tomorrow.