Solitaire
Dani was finding he rather liked the Eastwood. It was big, had some cute girls and the crew was ever so quiet. Their pressures were light, ebbing and flowing and coming and going like water, leaving no impression on the mind of the Newtype save that they simply existed. For once, it was quiet enough to think. Not that he had much he wanted to dwell on. He was growing very tired of the infirmary, though he sometimes wondered if it wouldn't be better just to move in there permanently. He certainly spent enough time there.
Besides, the infirmary had access to oodles of good things, like painkillers and sleeping pills, the latter of which he found he was needing in increasing supply. It was something he noted with a shred of irony - Candice, it seemed, was sleeping better on her own now, but every time Dani closed his eyes with the intent to rest, all hopes of it were dashed away by a stir of subconcious thoughts. Some nights it would be the face of the Zeon Newtype he'd killed with the help of Lucy. Other nights it would be David who haunted him instead. Either way, he'd wake up in cold sweats a painfully short time after he'd fallen asleep initially. Still, whatever he was being given to get him to sleep otherwise was working wonders, letting him fall into deep and dreamless sleeps.
But it was taking it's toll on him. The physical signs were just beginning to show. Hnis skin was waxen and his eyes had definitely taken a darker cast as the days had passed. Lucy had asked if he'd contracted a virus, or, perhaps, if something was corrupted. He hadn't answered because he didn't know if he could.
Night terrors aside, his thoughts had not stayed on the Eastwood, but rather in the nearby space where so many had died. The battlefield physically hurt him to think about, but beyond it...
He hadn't forgotten that feeling of 'connection' he'd felt not long ago - the mirrored anguish soon replaced by a sad sort of hope...feelings from another mind. (He wondered, idly, if he should mention it in his next report, but decided against it, as he was attempting to keep his own mental growth hidden from the researchers as best he could). He wanted to stay and look for whoever the feelings came from, but the heavy sense of death in the surrounding area was doing him no favours, and so he did not challenge the fleets movements back to friendly territory.
Back to side 7 - not something he was looking forward to.
Presently he sat on his bed, dressed in a white teeshirt and the soft sweatpants given to him courtesy of the nursing staff aboard the Eastwood. On the bedside table was an untouched plate of food and a portable computer opened up to a half-finished game of Solitaire. He'd stopped playing. It was unwinnable. Just like this war seemed sometimes.
Idly, he wondered if he should go see Candice or Lucy. He'd been given a clean bill of health, but wanted to rest another day just in case. A quick glance at the wall clock told him that Lucy was likely "asleep" for the night. Candice was anyone's guess at the moment - Dani would have sought her out, but his mind inevitably drifted to the gaping hole where David's pressure used to rest.
Dani let out an angry exhale, running his boney fingers through unwashed hair, before scratching at stubble that really needed shaving. He was a mess. He felt it as much as he looked it. He couldn't face Candice like this. Hell, he couldn't face a mirror like this.
If David saw him like this, Dani had no doubt he'd be decked.
He reached for his bottle of sleeping pills. He'd clean up tomorrow.
~
It felt ironic to feel this strong when everyone around Candice felt weak. She drifted down the lonesome corridor, passing by the sleeping quarters and an empty mess hall save for a pair of mechanics playing cards at the far end of the room. It felt too quiet; it sounded too quiet. It was as if death itself had laid a fine blanket over the Eastwood, covering every soul in its wake with a fine black powder than snuffed out any hope a person might harbor deep within them.
Candice was worn down, and it showed with the bags under her eyes. However, her uniform was worn correctly for once off-duty, and her head had been washed earlier in the day. It glimmered softly as she passed by rows upon rows of white light overhead, making her way to the infirmary. She felt nothing; she thought nothing. Her mouth felt dry and her stomach gurgling. Perhaps on the way back she’d pick up something to nibble on before dozing off.
She didn’t bother knocking when the infirmary’s plain door came into sight. Candice punched in the keycode with familiar finger strokes, and the door whisked open to reveal Dani on his bed. Despite recovering physically, he somehow managed to look more damaged than before he came in here. His hair was a mess and his stubble stood out against his grey skin. A sharp pang of worry pierced her chest, and her brows furrowed as she approached him with the clicks of her boots standing out against the silence.
“Hey,” she said, her voice sounding hollow in the back of her throat, “How’ve you been faring?” Upon finishing, her eyes zeroed in on the pills in his hands, and chocolate brown eyes trailed back up, trying to meet Dani’s dull grey pair.
~
He didn't meet her face when he heard her come in . His grip on the bottle tightened for a fraction of a second, and then relaxed.
"I'm fine," he replied. His voice was thin and raspy. "You should eat something."
~
She moved forward, searching the room for a place to sit and found nothing that wasn't being used as a semi-flat surface to hold either clothes, papers and books. Instead, she leaned against the mattress with her hip, and folded her arms in a mock professional stance.
"You don't show it," she stated bluntly, although her eyes softened as she continued to speak, "but it's good to see that you're faring well, regardless. And, for the record, I'll be eating soon. Want me to pick you up anything, or are they allowing that with your current health?"
~
His gaze didn't move from the bottle still in his hand. "I'm fine," he repeated. He felt her weight against the mattress and his gaze tightened as though he was forcing himself not to meet Candice's eyes. "I'm not really hungry, anyways."
So close, he couldn't help but feel her presence, but he didn't want to. Because it felt far too lonely without David's, and David was never coming back
~
The look on Dani's face was unconvincing, which Candice noted with muted shock seeing as Dani had practically been the poster boy for good natured expressions. The bags under his eyes, lifeless and preoccupied with too much thought, bothered Candice greatly. Her fingers bunched up the fabric in the creases of her elbows, her thighs slowly becoming sore from her awkward stance against his bed.
Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, "You should still eat something anyway, Isn't that what you told me, when we first met?"
Oh god, David. Was this...?
Her throat choked up, a hiccup in the back of her throat, as a ghostly smile passed by underneath her eyelids.
~
"WE first met in the Slepnir's hanger after a sortie. I didn't say anything about food."
Another twinge of forgotten pain, this time of the off-beat but loveable Arcaile Nasr. The Slepnir had fallen because Dani was too damn useless to protect it. His eyes traveled to the pale, slightly glossy scar tissue that covered his arms. They'd stopped hurting by now. At least physically.
~
The impatient tone, laced with anger and something else the, took Candice aback. Her eyes closed and her mind boiled, trying to grasp something to say. Nothing rose that was particularily needed nor appropriate. A gurgling ball of frustration arose in her chest, heavy and dry.
Candice opened her eyes and met them with Dani's, "Perhaps, but it's the moment I remember best." As an after thought, she whispered, "Should I leave to let you sleep?"
~
"No, " he said quickly. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong..."
He finally turned to look at her, though he inwardly cringed at what he must have looked like. "At least you're holding up well enough. Can't really say the same for me."
~
"If your lungs are still working, then you're still able to recover..." Candice stated matter of factly with her index finger pointed upward, "...is what my father used to say." She brought her right hand back down and crossed her arms, eyes fixated on the worn look Dani sported.
"But seriously, it's rough for all of us, Dani. We've both lost people near and dear to us, and that only justifies our purpose on the battlefield moreso. Also..." Candice's voice became wistful, her eyes downcast and her hands searching earnestly for something to grab and hold on to.
"...I managed to recover one of David's cyclopes. It's pretty badly burnt, but it's still intact regardless." The bedsheets seemed like a fine thing to squeeze, so Candice uncrossed her arms and let her left hand take a fistful of chalk blue sheets. "We'll go see it when you get your strength back."
~
"It's my fault he's dead." Dani said bluntly. "I let my...ugh... those feelings overwhelmed me. I passed out and because of that David is dead. And don't say you understand because you can't. You'll never know what it feels like when someone dies, or how empty it feels when they're not...I dunno there. "
He let go of the bottle, turning to lay down, but he grabbed her hand as he did so, tugging her onto the bed with him and from there, he hugged her tightly against him. "Promise you'll stay here."
~
The harsh words Dani spoke numbed Candice considerably, and when his hand grasped hers, his body soon following. It was as if her senses had pooled into her chest cavity and simmered. She was angry, she was frustrated and woeful all at the same time. However, she didn't bother to shrug out of his embrace, and sat on the bed with him awkwardly.
Candice craned her neck over so her lips settled by his ear, "Dani," she whispered, "Don't think you're ever alone. I... I may not be able to understand what you're going through... but you can't carry this burden alone. That's what we're all here for."
Besides, the infirmary had access to oodles of good things, like painkillers and sleeping pills, the latter of which he found he was needing in increasing supply. It was something he noted with a shred of irony - Candice, it seemed, was sleeping better on her own now, but every time Dani closed his eyes with the intent to rest, all hopes of it were dashed away by a stir of subconcious thoughts. Some nights it would be the face of the Zeon Newtype he'd killed with the help of Lucy. Other nights it would be David who haunted him instead. Either way, he'd wake up in cold sweats a painfully short time after he'd fallen asleep initially. Still, whatever he was being given to get him to sleep otherwise was working wonders, letting him fall into deep and dreamless sleeps.
But it was taking it's toll on him. The physical signs were just beginning to show. Hnis skin was waxen and his eyes had definitely taken a darker cast as the days had passed. Lucy had asked if he'd contracted a virus, or, perhaps, if something was corrupted. He hadn't answered because he didn't know if he could.
Night terrors aside, his thoughts had not stayed on the Eastwood, but rather in the nearby space where so many had died. The battlefield physically hurt him to think about, but beyond it...
He hadn't forgotten that feeling of 'connection' he'd felt not long ago - the mirrored anguish soon replaced by a sad sort of hope...feelings from another mind. (He wondered, idly, if he should mention it in his next report, but decided against it, as he was attempting to keep his own mental growth hidden from the researchers as best he could). He wanted to stay and look for whoever the feelings came from, but the heavy sense of death in the surrounding area was doing him no favours, and so he did not challenge the fleets movements back to friendly territory.
Back to side 7 - not something he was looking forward to.
Presently he sat on his bed, dressed in a white teeshirt and the soft sweatpants given to him courtesy of the nursing staff aboard the Eastwood. On the bedside table was an untouched plate of food and a portable computer opened up to a half-finished game of Solitaire. He'd stopped playing. It was unwinnable. Just like this war seemed sometimes.
Idly, he wondered if he should go see Candice or Lucy. He'd been given a clean bill of health, but wanted to rest another day just in case. A quick glance at the wall clock told him that Lucy was likely "asleep" for the night. Candice was anyone's guess at the moment - Dani would have sought her out, but his mind inevitably drifted to the gaping hole where David's pressure used to rest.
Dani let out an angry exhale, running his boney fingers through unwashed hair, before scratching at stubble that really needed shaving. He was a mess. He felt it as much as he looked it. He couldn't face Candice like this. Hell, he couldn't face a mirror like this.
If David saw him like this, Dani had no doubt he'd be decked.
He reached for his bottle of sleeping pills. He'd clean up tomorrow.
~
It felt ironic to feel this strong when everyone around Candice felt weak. She drifted down the lonesome corridor, passing by the sleeping quarters and an empty mess hall save for a pair of mechanics playing cards at the far end of the room. It felt too quiet; it sounded too quiet. It was as if death itself had laid a fine blanket over the Eastwood, covering every soul in its wake with a fine black powder than snuffed out any hope a person might harbor deep within them.
Candice was worn down, and it showed with the bags under her eyes. However, her uniform was worn correctly for once off-duty, and her head had been washed earlier in the day. It glimmered softly as she passed by rows upon rows of white light overhead, making her way to the infirmary. She felt nothing; she thought nothing. Her mouth felt dry and her stomach gurgling. Perhaps on the way back she’d pick up something to nibble on before dozing off.
She didn’t bother knocking when the infirmary’s plain door came into sight. Candice punched in the keycode with familiar finger strokes, and the door whisked open to reveal Dani on his bed. Despite recovering physically, he somehow managed to look more damaged than before he came in here. His hair was a mess and his stubble stood out against his grey skin. A sharp pang of worry pierced her chest, and her brows furrowed as she approached him with the clicks of her boots standing out against the silence.
“Hey,” she said, her voice sounding hollow in the back of her throat, “How’ve you been faring?” Upon finishing, her eyes zeroed in on the pills in his hands, and chocolate brown eyes trailed back up, trying to meet Dani’s dull grey pair.
~
He didn't meet her face when he heard her come in . His grip on the bottle tightened for a fraction of a second, and then relaxed.
"I'm fine," he replied. His voice was thin and raspy. "You should eat something."
~
She moved forward, searching the room for a place to sit and found nothing that wasn't being used as a semi-flat surface to hold either clothes, papers and books. Instead, she leaned against the mattress with her hip, and folded her arms in a mock professional stance.
"You don't show it," she stated bluntly, although her eyes softened as she continued to speak, "but it's good to see that you're faring well, regardless. And, for the record, I'll be eating soon. Want me to pick you up anything, or are they allowing that with your current health?"
~
His gaze didn't move from the bottle still in his hand. "I'm fine," he repeated. He felt her weight against the mattress and his gaze tightened as though he was forcing himself not to meet Candice's eyes. "I'm not really hungry, anyways."
So close, he couldn't help but feel her presence, but he didn't want to. Because it felt far too lonely without David's, and David was never coming back
~
The look on Dani's face was unconvincing, which Candice noted with muted shock seeing as Dani had practically been the poster boy for good natured expressions. The bags under his eyes, lifeless and preoccupied with too much thought, bothered Candice greatly. Her fingers bunched up the fabric in the creases of her elbows, her thighs slowly becoming sore from her awkward stance against his bed.
Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, "You should still eat something anyway, Isn't that what you told me, when we first met?"
Oh god, David. Was this...?
Her throat choked up, a hiccup in the back of her throat, as a ghostly smile passed by underneath her eyelids.
~
"WE first met in the Slepnir's hanger after a sortie. I didn't say anything about food."
Another twinge of forgotten pain, this time of the off-beat but loveable Arcaile Nasr. The Slepnir had fallen because Dani was too damn useless to protect it. His eyes traveled to the pale, slightly glossy scar tissue that covered his arms. They'd stopped hurting by now. At least physically.
~
The impatient tone, laced with anger and something else the, took Candice aback. Her eyes closed and her mind boiled, trying to grasp something to say. Nothing rose that was particularily needed nor appropriate. A gurgling ball of frustration arose in her chest, heavy and dry.
Candice opened her eyes and met them with Dani's, "Perhaps, but it's the moment I remember best." As an after thought, she whispered, "Should I leave to let you sleep?"
~
"No, " he said quickly. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong..."
He finally turned to look at her, though he inwardly cringed at what he must have looked like. "At least you're holding up well enough. Can't really say the same for me."
~
"If your lungs are still working, then you're still able to recover..." Candice stated matter of factly with her index finger pointed upward, "...is what my father used to say." She brought her right hand back down and crossed her arms, eyes fixated on the worn look Dani sported.
"But seriously, it's rough for all of us, Dani. We've both lost people near and dear to us, and that only justifies our purpose on the battlefield moreso. Also..." Candice's voice became wistful, her eyes downcast and her hands searching earnestly for something to grab and hold on to.
"...I managed to recover one of David's cyclopes. It's pretty badly burnt, but it's still intact regardless." The bedsheets seemed like a fine thing to squeeze, so Candice uncrossed her arms and let her left hand take a fistful of chalk blue sheets. "We'll go see it when you get your strength back."
~
"It's my fault he's dead." Dani said bluntly. "I let my...ugh... those feelings overwhelmed me. I passed out and because of that David is dead. And don't say you understand because you can't. You'll never know what it feels like when someone dies, or how empty it feels when they're not...I dunno there. "
He let go of the bottle, turning to lay down, but he grabbed her hand as he did so, tugging her onto the bed with him and from there, he hugged her tightly against him. "Promise you'll stay here."
~
The harsh words Dani spoke numbed Candice considerably, and when his hand grasped hers, his body soon following. It was as if her senses had pooled into her chest cavity and simmered. She was angry, she was frustrated and woeful all at the same time. However, she didn't bother to shrug out of his embrace, and sat on the bed with him awkwardly.
Candice craned her neck over so her lips settled by his ear, "Dani," she whispered, "Don't think you're ever alone. I... I may not be able to understand what you're going through... but you can't carry this burden alone. That's what we're all here for."