hello!
Okay, i was hoping to have at least 10/15 minutes to do this update, and i don't want to leave some short random update leaving people confused. so i guess i'm just gonna have to type as fast as i can.
Alright, so i already updated once and said how i told tj we shouldnt talk anymore. he got really upset, but then was like, "i love you. i need you. i'm crazy for you. i want you back now. i'm sorry!" and i was like, "it's too late. you had your opportunities to say all that stuff, and now it's too late. i'm tired of being together, but not being together. i'm not going to change for you, you have to accept me and i'm not giving up my friends. i will see them whenever i want." and he even agreed and said we can make compromises. but i said, "no tj. compromises are mutual, i'd be the only one changing." and etc...
Well, after being firm about "no more", he got even MORE upset. and instead, started text messaging me and telling me, "you fat whore. go jump off a bridge you pig lookin whore. i dunno what i ever saw in you because there isn't anything! i don't want you back anyways, you're too much of a bitch. you're a piece of shit and you deserve to be treated like one. you fat whore!" and so on. i just sent him a text back saying,"i hope you feel better letting out all the things you've always thought. i told you i was never good enough for you." and that was that.
Then, one day after work, i went to pick up joli and wanted to go eat. i decided to invite ben (tj's younger brother, my good good friend) along too. It was cool, we went to go pick him up, then we went out. After i dropped joli off, i went to take ben home, but tj was sitting outside. and he terrifies me... so i was like, "lets keep driving a little more". 20 minutes later i brought him back and just dropped him off at the corner. as he gets out of my car, i see tj approaching behind him and i just said, "CLOSE THE DOOR! CLOSE THE DOOR!" then i drove off as fast as i could. i looked to see if things were okay, and it was from what i saw, so then i just went home.
A few days later, ben calls me and it turns out, tj had beat the crap out of him. that stupid ass tempermental psycho ass mother fucker beat up his own fucking brother for hanging out with his fucking friend, who happens to be his ex-gf. maybe it wasn't the best idea, to go out like that, BUT, i didn't think tj would actually fucking sink that fucking low!!! ugh!!! it pisses me off soooo fucking much. well, ben doesn't hate me, and he's pissed at tj. he wouldn't even hit him back because he's a better person like that. but now, their mom is blaming it AAAAAAAALLLLLLLL on me and says if i go near there again, she's going to put a restraining order on me. fun.
Well.... okay. shit, i'm taking up alot of time doing this. gotta hurry and finish. Now, this new guy that i have a huge crush on... i don't want to anymore. i'm too afraid it's going to be to painful to go through because i feel it won't be worth it in the end to put much effort forth into anything between us. he just got out of his own girl-situation, and i just got out of mine, so we both need space and time for ourselves, but i can't help how i feel. he's sooooo great in too many ways, it's impossible not to go crazy at the thought of him. he plays the guitar (he taught himself, and he's good at it). he can sing, he can dance, he's gorgeous, he's sooo sweet, he has such a way with words, he's mature... he appreciates life and he's so smart!!! okay, okay. enough of that, but, right now though, i'm giong to do what i should've done a million years ago, just keep my feelings to myself and retreat. i'm too afraid anyways, so... if something happens to go well, i'lll be thankful when it does. but for now, i'm going to prepare myself for the worst.
alright, fuck. now i'm gonna have to rush to get ready in time for work. i'll see yalls later.
Alright, so i already updated once and said how i told tj we shouldnt talk anymore. he got really upset, but then was like, "i love you. i need you. i'm crazy for you. i want you back now. i'm sorry!" and i was like, "it's too late. you had your opportunities to say all that stuff, and now it's too late. i'm tired of being together, but not being together. i'm not going to change for you, you have to accept me and i'm not giving up my friends. i will see them whenever i want." and he even agreed and said we can make compromises. but i said, "no tj. compromises are mutual, i'd be the only one changing." and etc...
Well, after being firm about "no more", he got even MORE upset. and instead, started text messaging me and telling me, "you fat whore. go jump off a bridge you pig lookin whore. i dunno what i ever saw in you because there isn't anything! i don't want you back anyways, you're too much of a bitch. you're a piece of shit and you deserve to be treated like one. you fat whore!" and so on. i just sent him a text back saying,"i hope you feel better letting out all the things you've always thought. i told you i was never good enough for you." and that was that.
Then, one day after work, i went to pick up joli and wanted to go eat. i decided to invite ben (tj's younger brother, my good good friend) along too. It was cool, we went to go pick him up, then we went out. After i dropped joli off, i went to take ben home, but tj was sitting outside. and he terrifies me... so i was like, "lets keep driving a little more". 20 minutes later i brought him back and just dropped him off at the corner. as he gets out of my car, i see tj approaching behind him and i just said, "CLOSE THE DOOR! CLOSE THE DOOR!" then i drove off as fast as i could. i looked to see if things were okay, and it was from what i saw, so then i just went home.
A few days later, ben calls me and it turns out, tj had beat the crap out of him. that stupid ass tempermental psycho ass mother fucker beat up his own fucking brother for hanging out with his fucking friend, who happens to be his ex-gf. maybe it wasn't the best idea, to go out like that, BUT, i didn't think tj would actually fucking sink that fucking low!!! ugh!!! it pisses me off soooo fucking much. well, ben doesn't hate me, and he's pissed at tj. he wouldn't even hit him back because he's a better person like that. but now, their mom is blaming it AAAAAAAALLLLLLLL on me and says if i go near there again, she's going to put a restraining order on me. fun.
Well.... okay. shit, i'm taking up alot of time doing this. gotta hurry and finish. Now, this new guy that i have a huge crush on... i don't want to anymore. i'm too afraid it's going to be to painful to go through because i feel it won't be worth it in the end to put much effort forth into anything between us. he just got out of his own girl-situation, and i just got out of mine, so we both need space and time for ourselves, but i can't help how i feel. he's sooooo great in too many ways, it's impossible not to go crazy at the thought of him. he plays the guitar (he taught himself, and he's good at it). he can sing, he can dance, he's gorgeous, he's sooo sweet, he has such a way with words, he's mature... he appreciates life and he's so smart!!! okay, okay. enough of that, but, right now though, i'm giong to do what i should've done a million years ago, just keep my feelings to myself and retreat. i'm too afraid anyways, so... if something happens to go well, i'lll be thankful when it does. but for now, i'm going to prepare myself for the worst.
alright, fuck. now i'm gonna have to rush to get ready in time for work. i'll see yalls later.