Valentine's Day Mayhem: Sour Apple Flavor
In which it is Valentine's Day, and Sour Apple is about five seconds away from being imprisoned for willful manslaughter.
Rating: T
I have absolutely nothing to say on the state of Urahara Kisuke’s sanity. It has clearly gone straight out the window. Nothing more remains of it. I would gladly do the same for his mortal remains, but society frowns on manslaughter. Clearly he is also past the realms of manly dignity. If he was not, he would never have inflicted this travesty upon us.
No man should be, against his will, forced to wear such a feminine color as pink. It is degrading. If a man chooses to wear pink, that is another story. A rather bizarre one, in any case, but still. It would even be a perfectly fine color but for the fact that society has labeled is a Girl Color.
And that is not even getting me started on the Western inanity that is Valentine’s Day. Originally it had something to do with martyrs, which is at least interesting, but now it is thoroughly commercialized and hopeless. And the girls. Love. It.
I, needless to say, do not. Not do I particularly enjoy getting bombarded with invariably pink-and-green wrapped gifts from girls I do not even know. Ones that I am supposed to be maintaining a professional relationship with. I have given up all hope that this day will be even remotely good - I am thanking the kami that I did not have to serve the afternoon crowd. No, I had the morning shift, which was bad enough, and now I must go back in and serve the evening crowd.
With Jeagerjacques.
Not only has this day been bad, it has now plummeted to the realm of positively awful. I do not even have the ballast that is Kuchiki to temper the sheer force of nature that is Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. No, instead I have Abarai and Hisagi, who will be far too busy making mooneyes at one another while the other is not looking. Grimmjow has been making noises about those two and getting locked in a closet, and I have to say it must be the only thing I’ve ever agreed with him about.
Though I will admit, I am looking forward, with utterly vindictive pleasure, to seeing his reaction to the uniform change.
It should be quite priceless, and I intend on capturing it on video, somehow. I believe my phone has a camera setting - I will see Hisagi about helping me with this.
Ah, at the workplace once more, and into the kami-awful uniform. I am pleased that there is no sign of Jeagerjacques - it will give me a moment to recruit Hisagi into my plan.
“Hisagi.” Spoken in my usual monotone.
“Eh, Schiffer? D’you need something?” He asked, rather surprised. I nodded, holding out my phone.
“Your assistance. I wish to know if you will assist me capturing Jeagerjacques’ reaction.” I said. His face lit up with diabolical glee, and he accepted my phone without any further prompting. We hurried back to the locker room, remaining just out of sight. About five minutes later, Jeagerjacques appeared and went to his locker, grouchily slamming it open, only to recoil in horror.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?!”
Payback’s a bitch, Jeagerjacques.
Rating: T
I have absolutely nothing to say on the state of Urahara Kisuke’s sanity. It has clearly gone straight out the window. Nothing more remains of it. I would gladly do the same for his mortal remains, but society frowns on manslaughter. Clearly he is also past the realms of manly dignity. If he was not, he would never have inflicted this travesty upon us.
No man should be, against his will, forced to wear such a feminine color as pink. It is degrading. If a man chooses to wear pink, that is another story. A rather bizarre one, in any case, but still. It would even be a perfectly fine color but for the fact that society has labeled is a Girl Color.
And that is not even getting me started on the Western inanity that is Valentine’s Day. Originally it had something to do with martyrs, which is at least interesting, but now it is thoroughly commercialized and hopeless. And the girls. Love. It.
I, needless to say, do not. Not do I particularly enjoy getting bombarded with invariably pink-and-green wrapped gifts from girls I do not even know. Ones that I am supposed to be maintaining a professional relationship with. I have given up all hope that this day will be even remotely good - I am thanking the kami that I did not have to serve the afternoon crowd. No, I had the morning shift, which was bad enough, and now I must go back in and serve the evening crowd.
With Jeagerjacques.
Not only has this day been bad, it has now plummeted to the realm of positively awful. I do not even have the ballast that is Kuchiki to temper the sheer force of nature that is Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. No, instead I have Abarai and Hisagi, who will be far too busy making mooneyes at one another while the other is not looking. Grimmjow has been making noises about those two and getting locked in a closet, and I have to say it must be the only thing I’ve ever agreed with him about.
Though I will admit, I am looking forward, with utterly vindictive pleasure, to seeing his reaction to the uniform change.
It should be quite priceless, and I intend on capturing it on video, somehow. I believe my phone has a camera setting - I will see Hisagi about helping me with this.
Ah, at the workplace once more, and into the kami-awful uniform. I am pleased that there is no sign of Jeagerjacques - it will give me a moment to recruit Hisagi into my plan.
“Hisagi.” Spoken in my usual monotone.
“Eh, Schiffer? D’you need something?” He asked, rather surprised. I nodded, holding out my phone.
“Your assistance. I wish to know if you will assist me capturing Jeagerjacques’ reaction.” I said. His face lit up with diabolical glee, and he accepted my phone without any further prompting. We hurried back to the locker room, remaining just out of sight. About five minutes later, Jeagerjacques appeared and went to his locker, grouchily slamming it open, only to recoil in horror.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?!”
Payback’s a bitch, Jeagerjacques.