Blueberry: Introduction
Introducing Blueberry, one of our lovely wait staff. (ohgod don't hurt meee)
Rating: T (language)
Manager Asshole says I should introduce myself. I say he should shove his introduction straight up his ass.
Che. Like that would actually work. Okay, I’m Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. Ain’t nothin’ I like more ’n a good fight. Why do I work at this fruity place? One word. Blackmail. Yep. See, I live with my aunt, ‘cause she an’ my little sis are the only family I got. Not exactly heartbroken over here. Yeah, my parents were neglectful assholes. Aunt says that’s the reason I turned out like this. I say she’s fulla shit.
Okay, back on track. Urahara knows my aunt. Shihōin Yoruichi is her name, and she and Manager Asshole go way back. Like, middle-school-way-back. Creepy, huh? So, anyway. Me an’ my little sis (who’s actually my half-sister, but who’s keeping track?) Neliel Tu Oderschvank (mouthful, I know) lived in France ‘til our ma died. I’m Japanese-French, Nel’s Japanese-German. We have ma in common, who was Shihōin Noriko before her marriage, Yoruichi’s little sister. So anyway, out of the tangled web of relations, Ma died. We got sent to her only living relative, Aunt Yoruichi. She took us in, god knows why. When I graduated high school (who the fuck has to pay for high school anyway? I’m just glad Aunt’s rich, and we are too) I applied to TCFA, for a degree in tech theater. What are you lookin’ at me like that for? I like light. Yoruichi was delighted when I got in, and immediately told me that I was getting a job at her nutjob friend’s place or she was kicking me out. Seeing as I still have Nel to worry about, I took the job.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Anyway, like I said, I’m Japanese-French or Franco-Japanese, or whatever the fuck they call it. I’m ma’s kid from her first good-for-nothing husband, Édouard Jeagerjaques. Neliel is ma’s kid from her third good-for-nothing husband, Gerhardt Tu Oderschvank. I’ve got electric-blue hair, (okay, so it may be naturally blond, but I like it blue, dammit) electric-blue eyes with tattooed blue marks around them, (sensing a theme yet?) and tan skin (I like my out-of-doors). I’m buff, but not bulky, taller than practically everyone in this damn city, and people say I have attitude problems. I say they’re shitheads. I say that about a lot of people. The only people I like in this goddamn city are my baby sis and maybe dandelion-head. That’s Ichigo to the rest of you. Ichigo reminds me a lot of myself. He likes a good fight, he protects what’s his and he doesn’t take shit from anyone. I work with him, and he’s almost the only tolerable one of the bunch.
Shūhei’s fine as long as he isn’t talking tech at me, and Renji’s a lot like me an’ Ichigo. Tōshirō is the moodiest little bitch you are ever gonna meet, but he’s got a decent attitude under the grump. He’s also fun to rile up. It’s the other three I hate. Byakuya’s blank and bitchy, Uryū’s holier-than-thou attitude makes me wanna punch him, and Ulquiorra is the blankest emo bitch I have ever laid eyes on. He drives me absolutely batshit.
So yeah, work sucks major ass. Gotta hand it to Manager Asshole, though, the pay is pretty sweet.
Y’know, sometimes I wonder if she ain’t blackmailing the both of us. Me to work there and Urahara to keep me.
Rating: T (language)
Manager Asshole says I should introduce myself. I say he should shove his introduction straight up his ass.
Che. Like that would actually work. Okay, I’m Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. Ain’t nothin’ I like more ’n a good fight. Why do I work at this fruity place? One word. Blackmail. Yep. See, I live with my aunt, ‘cause she an’ my little sis are the only family I got. Not exactly heartbroken over here. Yeah, my parents were neglectful assholes. Aunt says that’s the reason I turned out like this. I say she’s fulla shit.
Okay, back on track. Urahara knows my aunt. Shihōin Yoruichi is her name, and she and Manager Asshole go way back. Like, middle-school-way-back. Creepy, huh? So, anyway. Me an’ my little sis (who’s actually my half-sister, but who’s keeping track?) Neliel Tu Oderschvank (mouthful, I know) lived in France ‘til our ma died. I’m Japanese-French, Nel’s Japanese-German. We have ma in common, who was Shihōin Noriko before her marriage, Yoruichi’s little sister. So anyway, out of the tangled web of relations, Ma died. We got sent to her only living relative, Aunt Yoruichi. She took us in, god knows why. When I graduated high school (who the fuck has to pay for high school anyway? I’m just glad Aunt’s rich, and we are too) I applied to TCFA, for a degree in tech theater. What are you lookin’ at me like that for? I like light. Yoruichi was delighted when I got in, and immediately told me that I was getting a job at her nutjob friend’s place or she was kicking me out. Seeing as I still have Nel to worry about, I took the job.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Anyway, like I said, I’m Japanese-French or Franco-Japanese, or whatever the fuck they call it. I’m ma’s kid from her first good-for-nothing husband, Édouard Jeagerjaques. Neliel is ma’s kid from her third good-for-nothing husband, Gerhardt Tu Oderschvank. I’ve got electric-blue hair, (okay, so it may be naturally blond, but I like it blue, dammit) electric-blue eyes with tattooed blue marks around them, (sensing a theme yet?) and tan skin (I like my out-of-doors). I’m buff, but not bulky, taller than practically everyone in this damn city, and people say I have attitude problems. I say they’re shitheads. I say that about a lot of people. The only people I like in this goddamn city are my baby sis and maybe dandelion-head. That’s Ichigo to the rest of you. Ichigo reminds me a lot of myself. He likes a good fight, he protects what’s his and he doesn’t take shit from anyone. I work with him, and he’s almost the only tolerable one of the bunch.
Shūhei’s fine as long as he isn’t talking tech at me, and Renji’s a lot like me an’ Ichigo. Tōshirō is the moodiest little bitch you are ever gonna meet, but he’s got a decent attitude under the grump. He’s also fun to rile up. It’s the other three I hate. Byakuya’s blank and bitchy, Uryū’s holier-than-thou attitude makes me wanna punch him, and Ulquiorra is the blankest emo bitch I have ever laid eyes on. He drives me absolutely batshit.
So yeah, work sucks major ass. Gotta hand it to Manager Asshole, though, the pay is pretty sweet.
Y’know, sometimes I wonder if she ain’t blackmailing the both of us. Me to work there and Urahara to keep me.