Big ol' rant.
Dear Parents,
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME SO MAD? Seriously, sometimes I long to just shake some understanding into you guys. You make me jump through ridiculous hoops because you think it will be motiviational and then your realize your FUCKING DUMB idea didn't work and you blame it on the idea that I don't try hard enough, when I'm actually trying so hard that I had a breakdown while taking a skill test. When I cry (like, actual big, fat sobs) in front of a teacher, maybe you should consider that your stupid method ISN'T WORKING.
Maybe if you actually paid attention to what I was saying once in a great long while, you would realize that I'm going insane and your offering to drive me around once every so often DOESN'T HELP. DOESN'T DO SHIT. DOESN'T EVEN COME CLOSE.
Yes, I recognize that there are a lot of kids who aren't in AP and who don't have what I have, and who have a much tougher life, but right now, I'm hurting and nobody can help me. I am feeling so paranoid that I think everyone's out to get me, even my friends, who are amazing people and don't deserve the bullshit that's running through my mind and I feel so guilty because my friend's try to be understanding of me and my crazy moods and I'm just TIRED. All I want to do is go to sleep and never wake up again.
And mom, would you PLEASE stop telling me that maybe I need to be considering an easier college. I don't fucking need you to allude to my stupidity. It's not like either you or dad went to any exceptional colleges. So just understand that life as a teenager is harder now than it was thirty of forty years ago. College is more competitive. LAY OFF OF ME.
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME SO MAD? Seriously, sometimes I long to just shake some understanding into you guys. You make me jump through ridiculous hoops because you think it will be motiviational and then your realize your FUCKING DUMB idea didn't work and you blame it on the idea that I don't try hard enough, when I'm actually trying so hard that I had a breakdown while taking a skill test. When I cry (like, actual big, fat sobs) in front of a teacher, maybe you should consider that your stupid method ISN'T WORKING.
Maybe if you actually paid attention to what I was saying once in a great long while, you would realize that I'm going insane and your offering to drive me around once every so often DOESN'T HELP. DOESN'T DO SHIT. DOESN'T EVEN COME CLOSE.
Yes, I recognize that there are a lot of kids who aren't in AP and who don't have what I have, and who have a much tougher life, but right now, I'm hurting and nobody can help me. I am feeling so paranoid that I think everyone's out to get me, even my friends, who are amazing people and don't deserve the bullshit that's running through my mind and I feel so guilty because my friend's try to be understanding of me and my crazy moods and I'm just TIRED. All I want to do is go to sleep and never wake up again.
And mom, would you PLEASE stop telling me that maybe I need to be considering an easier college. I don't fucking need you to allude to my stupidity. It's not like either you or dad went to any exceptional colleges. So just understand that life as a teenager is harder now than it was thirty of forty years ago. College is more competitive. LAY OFF OF ME.