the days past....
well im no longer with sammy as all you know...its really weird i feel as if he's betrayed me in some way. i really liked him but i cant hold on to the past but at the same time im relieved its over but again im really dissappointed. i cant be at ease w/ myself in my conscious(however you spell that) knowing that im not at peace w/ someone who i cared for. i feel like this huge weighty cloud is over my shoulders now mainly cuz i havent talked to him to set things in stone and set things as right as they can get, you know? but i dont think theres is any way i can bring myself to talk to him...i dont want to talk to him...but at the same time i do just to get it over with. hes a coward and i hate him for it. he couldnt talk to me about the problems he was having w/ me, he couldnt talk to me about the rumors he was hearing, and on top of all that he couldnt break up w/ me himself...and he sends VERONICA to do it and he KNOWS i dislike her. and it hurts even more to know that he and his "friends" were sitting around making jokes and making fun of me and telling veronica to come and say this"sammy wants to break up with you, mainly for me i just wanted to let you know" that pissed me off more than anything. i mean if thats what hes interested in...good for him but why did he have to break up w/ me like that?!?!?! i hate him for it!! i mean i was about to break up w/ him myself but at least i would've done it and not have sent a guy w/ a lame excuse. and all the other excuses were crap....when excuses are crap and they could've been work threw then you know they were just looking for as good a reason as they can to break up. damn coward....i should charge him w/ satutarial rape...not that anything happened but people dont know that. lol.i wouldnt do that to anyone.
anyways. today was pretty good. ive been a little down from past events but aside from that things have been going pretty ok. except for this morning that was hell. i had to get both kids ready omg it was so stressful. then i was extremely tired and lathargic for most of the morning. and i was still like that in the afternoon but not as much. but it was soo hard to act normal at lunch w/ sammy right over there...hes a bitch. well thats all i got to say for now. lots of love~chelsea
anyways. today was pretty good. ive been a little down from past events but aside from that things have been going pretty ok. except for this morning that was hell. i had to get both kids ready omg it was so stressful. then i was extremely tired and lathargic for most of the morning. and i was still like that in the afternoon but not as much. but it was soo hard to act normal at lunch w/ sammy right over there...hes a bitch. well thats all i got to say for now. lots of love~chelsea