loo dee doo.
I decided to skip training again today to finish some work. Or try to, at least.
I've been incredibly lethargic recently, and haven't been really doing much except schoolwork and fangirling over dramas and stuff. I've been wasting time on the internet - and i mean, really wasting time, not even trying to go around and look at designs or browse through the Design Archives for ideas and reference. Just literally staring at my email inbox, or bittorrent download window. and doing nothing.
nyargh. I should reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally get back to work, and do all my projects well, but for some reason, no matter how much I attempt to force myslef to work, I sink back into my computer chair, or collapse onto my bed.
It's not that I'm not motivated or anything, I do have very specific goals I want to achieve, nor is it that I'm doing more than I can handle. (I've managed to improve when it comes to that - I've discovered that getting enough sleep does wonders for you. ahaha. :D) I'm just tired, I guess. Not busy-running-around-campus-and-to-and-from-the-condo-and-school tired, but mentally and emotionally tired, more like. Like, I'm tired of having to go to school and having to put up with subjects that don't interest me. Like, I'm tired of having to put up some types of people (the kind i hate-tipong people whose lives revolve around they're cellphone and who cry if they lose it) for the sake of keeping peace in class or what. Like, I'm tired of being dependent.
I'm tired of the way things are. I'm thirsty for change. I'm hungry for something new to explore.
Maybe it's because I've been to quite a number of places and, lived aborad, and have seen a fair amount for someone my age. It's funny, sometimes I hate myself for knowing about the world outside the one I live in, since it makes me discontent and even selfish to a point. Sometimes I think that it might've been better if I hadn'y experienced all the unusual things I have. Because maybe then I'd still have that sense of childlike wonder and awe for the new and exciting. And I'd be able to pass through the rest of my college life in peace and contentment, not hoping for anything so superfluous or unreasonable. Maybe I'd be more content with how I am, and with who I am. Maybe then someone would actually like me like that.
...
okay. enough angst. :p
anyone know where i can ask someone to code a layout for me? :( im attempting to design my own Lj layout but have no clue when it comes to coding @_@;;
I've been incredibly lethargic recently, and haven't been really doing much except schoolwork and fangirling over dramas and stuff. I've been wasting time on the internet - and i mean, really wasting time, not even trying to go around and look at designs or browse through the Design Archives for ideas and reference. Just literally staring at my email inbox, or bittorrent download window. and doing nothing.
nyargh. I should reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally get back to work, and do all my projects well, but for some reason, no matter how much I attempt to force myslef to work, I sink back into my computer chair, or collapse onto my bed.
It's not that I'm not motivated or anything, I do have very specific goals I want to achieve, nor is it that I'm doing more than I can handle. (I've managed to improve when it comes to that - I've discovered that getting enough sleep does wonders for you. ahaha. :D) I'm just tired, I guess. Not busy-running-around-campus-and-to-and-from-the-condo-and-school tired, but mentally and emotionally tired, more like. Like, I'm tired of having to go to school and having to put up with subjects that don't interest me. Like, I'm tired of having to put up some types of people (the kind i hate-tipong people whose lives revolve around they're cellphone and who cry if they lose it) for the sake of keeping peace in class or what. Like, I'm tired of being dependent.
I'm tired of the way things are. I'm thirsty for change. I'm hungry for something new to explore.
Maybe it's because I've been to quite a number of places and, lived aborad, and have seen a fair amount for someone my age. It's funny, sometimes I hate myself for knowing about the world outside the one I live in, since it makes me discontent and even selfish to a point. Sometimes I think that it might've been better if I hadn'y experienced all the unusual things I have. Because maybe then I'd still have that sense of childlike wonder and awe for the new and exciting. And I'd be able to pass through the rest of my college life in peace and contentment, not hoping for anything so superfluous or unreasonable. Maybe I'd be more content with how I am, and with who I am. Maybe then someone would actually like me like that.
...
okay. enough angst. :p
anyone know where i can ask someone to code a layout for me? :( im attempting to design my own Lj layout but have no clue when it comes to coding @_@;;