He's back?!
Hey, guys. I'm back to complain, as you all have awaited! I'm sorry, by the way, about not responding to any entries lately. I've just gotten lazy after responding to a number of them. I appreciate you all though, and love you.
Today, things just seemed to spring to a head for me. I've fought with my family, the house is always dirty, I'm sick, I'm lonely, Hell, I'm worried about eternal damnation. Things have just been building and I feel really down. Things don't seem to change for the better, but seem to sink down for the worst at moments.
My brother did everything but punch each other yesterday, for instance. We tangled, yelled, and as always mom pointed the full blame at me. We all were to fault, but mom has some double-standards that she needs to work through. I hope we can all grow up, just a little.
Speaking of growing up, someone told me today that they were unsure if I was better than I used to be. That hurt a little. I guess I shouldn't tell the virtues of listening to someone and trying to change someone who's being a bully, rather than being insulting and letting the behavior continue. Man, I'm such a bastard.
I was a jerk to Rose, though. Just irritated and ill to her. I frankly don't know why I was like that, either. Alright, so I do know why I acted like that. I've gotten to barely speak to her for a good while now, and she went unto vacation for a week. She's back and I'm still not getting to spend time or hang out with her. I guess that leaves me a little lonely, and combined with this little fever I have...
Heh. I can just see people who have little faith in me, or remember how horrible I was saying "he -hasn't- changed, he's still a bastard". I don't know if I could refute them, either. Lately, I've become a harder person. I've become more distant from people, I care about people's problems less. I've become less of a kind person, and that bothers me. I used to piss myself for the chance to listen to others, and do some great work. Now?
Now, I'm just tired, lonely, and feel cold. I need a hug.
Today, things just seemed to spring to a head for me. I've fought with my family, the house is always dirty, I'm sick, I'm lonely, Hell, I'm worried about eternal damnation. Things have just been building and I feel really down. Things don't seem to change for the better, but seem to sink down for the worst at moments.
My brother did everything but punch each other yesterday, for instance. We tangled, yelled, and as always mom pointed the full blame at me. We all were to fault, but mom has some double-standards that she needs to work through. I hope we can all grow up, just a little.
Speaking of growing up, someone told me today that they were unsure if I was better than I used to be. That hurt a little. I guess I shouldn't tell the virtues of listening to someone and trying to change someone who's being a bully, rather than being insulting and letting the behavior continue. Man, I'm such a bastard.
I was a jerk to Rose, though. Just irritated and ill to her. I frankly don't know why I was like that, either. Alright, so I do know why I acted like that. I've gotten to barely speak to her for a good while now, and she went unto vacation for a week. She's back and I'm still not getting to spend time or hang out with her. I guess that leaves me a little lonely, and combined with this little fever I have...
Heh. I can just see people who have little faith in me, or remember how horrible I was saying "he -hasn't- changed, he's still a bastard". I don't know if I could refute them, either. Lately, I've become a harder person. I've become more distant from people, I care about people's problems less. I've become less of a kind person, and that bothers me. I used to piss myself for the chance to listen to others, and do some great work. Now?
Now, I'm just tired, lonely, and feel cold. I need a hug.