(no subject)
I lost another friend tonight. It wasn't my fault though. It wasn't any of our faults, really. We've just grown apart and by God it hurts. Maybe this sickness is magnifying the emotion but it -hurts-. I've lost so many people and now I'm losing Cecilia. I've changed, I've gotten better, I've become a better person and I still am losing a friend.
She's grown up and I'm still silly, I'm still hyper and I'm supposedly high-maintenance and she's supposedly just impatient. I haven't asked anything from her lately though, I haven't come to her, I haven't asked for help. I've just wanted to joke and be playful, just be like we were before. I'm the reason she left online for such a long time this summer. It's because I had asked her questions about Christianity, ones she couldn't answer.
I just wore her out.
She's gone now. Gone to bed. I feel like crying. I remember calling her, joking with her, being close as Hell and now look at things. It wasn't my fault this time but it still happened! If it was my fault I could fix it, I could fix myself! Why can't this be my damned fault?
VegetableWarlord:
She's grown up and I'm still silly, I'm still hyper and I'm supposedly high-maintenance and she's supposedly just impatient. I haven't asked anything from her lately though, I haven't come to her, I haven't asked for help. I've just wanted to joke and be playful, just be like we were before. I'm the reason she left online for such a long time this summer. It's because I had asked her questions about Christianity, ones she couldn't answer.
I just wore her out.
She's gone now. Gone to bed. I feel like crying. I remember calling her, joking with her, being close as Hell and now look at things. It wasn't my fault this time but it still happened! If it was my fault I could fix it, I could fix myself! Why can't this be my damned fault?
VegetableWarlord: