(no subject)
Ben and I received Dad's RSVP last night. He's not coming. That pisses me off that he doesn't even try to make it up (for never being there or at least try to be a "dad"). I told myself a long time ago that I didn't want my children to know my dad. I don't want him in their lives. Jennifer and I have lived a life of his BROKEN promises. I don't want my children to see me sad or give into him when he decides to check in on me or promise them something he CAN'T keep. I'm tired of him. I"m paying him back the money he gave me these past couple of months. I don't want anything to do with him. A small part of me yearns for his love and will do anything to gain a few seconds of his precious time. Then there is that huge part of me that wants to cut all tithes with him. I appreciate him trying to help me these past few months. But it's only been these past few months that he has even tried. What about all those lost years? I don't feel like I owe him any more. There is always going to be this little card that has an "X" on the line saying, "sorry, won't be able to attend", for what reason Dad? you're a civilian now!!! you have no excuse holding you back from your daughter's wedding!!!!!
Mom, you have always been my strength. thank you for always being there no matter what!!! i love you with every being in my soul!