2 words you never want to hear...
...liver cancer.
those who have known me since know that i don't blog as much as i used to. hell, i used to be a live journal whore... but then i got this funny thing called a life and i am never online anymore.
anyways, i seem to have a lot of "down time" in the past 24 hours (actually it's a "break" i'm not busting my balls or running around or passed out from busting my balls and running around), i'm actually in chicago for the first time in 5 years. i'm visiting family because my aunt diane has cancer. it's not normal cancer tho, it's that shit literally takes over and just kills everything in it's way.
what does this mean?
well, this means that we are all just sitting here, waiting for her to die. there is nothing anyone can do for her. no last minute treatment. no miracle drug. chemotherapy wouldn't do too much because they didn't catch it in time. the doctors say it's been brewing for about 3 years now, and she was ignoring the signs and the sickness. it was as if she knew she was sick and just didn't want to face it.
finally diagnosed in june, they gave her 3 months or so.
my mother and i flew in yesterday. when we saw diane, it was like seeing someone else. i mean this shit doesn't happen in my immediate family. there is only a few of us... like seriously i have one one cousin. no one has died since i was 3 when my grandpa passed. so i obviously have no clue how to take this all in. i donno what to say, how to act. i've never had someone this close to me be sick like this, i've never just had to stand there and wait for them to die. hell, no one dies in my family. they may get cancer like 3 times, but they beat it every time. we're all assholes. we want to be around to piss people off and it wouldn't be any fun to die.
so today, i was woken up by the nice man who came here in the ambulance. they had to take her back in today, something was wrong and no one could figure what it was. it took 2 hours of tests to find that it was kidney failure.
"the beginning of the end" is what the nurse said.
liver cancer
kidney failure
lets just hope the end is soon
those who have known me since know that i don't blog as much as i used to. hell, i used to be a live journal whore... but then i got this funny thing called a life and i am never online anymore.
anyways, i seem to have a lot of "down time" in the past 24 hours (actually it's a "break" i'm not busting my balls or running around or passed out from busting my balls and running around), i'm actually in chicago for the first time in 5 years. i'm visiting family because my aunt diane has cancer. it's not normal cancer tho, it's that shit literally takes over and just kills everything in it's way.
what does this mean?
well, this means that we are all just sitting here, waiting for her to die. there is nothing anyone can do for her. no last minute treatment. no miracle drug. chemotherapy wouldn't do too much because they didn't catch it in time. the doctors say it's been brewing for about 3 years now, and she was ignoring the signs and the sickness. it was as if she knew she was sick and just didn't want to face it.
finally diagnosed in june, they gave her 3 months or so.
my mother and i flew in yesterday. when we saw diane, it was like seeing someone else. i mean this shit doesn't happen in my immediate family. there is only a few of us... like seriously i have one one cousin. no one has died since i was 3 when my grandpa passed. so i obviously have no clue how to take this all in. i donno what to say, how to act. i've never had someone this close to me be sick like this, i've never just had to stand there and wait for them to die. hell, no one dies in my family. they may get cancer like 3 times, but they beat it every time. we're all assholes. we want to be around to piss people off and it wouldn't be any fun to die.
so today, i was woken up by the nice man who came here in the ambulance. they had to take her back in today, something was wrong and no one could figure what it was. it took 2 hours of tests to find that it was kidney failure.
"the beginning of the end" is what the nurse said.
liver cancer
kidney failure
lets just hope the end is soon