It's called being a scientist. Your head's too full of more important things than playing the social game, back and forth banter is meaningless, and because you recognize that as fact, you don't bother with it.
I've found that as a young person dealing with "mature" adults who are a lot older/more experienced than me, or whose children I care for, I have to project this vibe of out-going, responsible maturity so they'll trust me, feel comfortable with me, and take me seriously. And it's not that I'm not all of those things, I guess I am. But I have to wave them around in a way that feels exaggerated-like stage acting- to get the point across. And it's the same way in a non-work social gathering type of scenario. I decide which parts of me I want to trot out for people to see first. That's all a first impression really is, you deciding which of your attributes you're going to showcase and which you're going to reserve.
But you see right through it, a lot of people probably do, but you're not going to pretend you don't just for the sake of exchanging banal pleasantries with someone at a party. And that's why it's excruciating.
At least, that's what I get, from what you said. Not that we've spent a lot of time together lately that I can tell you how your head works ;) but I know a lot of people in your field whose minds take the same paths through logic as yours does, and that's what I get from them. Revel in your social awkwardness, you're probably the next Watson or Crick. Or at least they are your acid-science homeboys.
Oh, I definitely hope I am, or at least will be, but being externally regarded as one feels like a compliment: I hold analytic thought to be a one of the, if not the, most important mode of processing, and to have someone suggest that it is present even when I'm not systematically implementing it is more validating than I can explain.
That's the long way of saying thanks, I guess. Here's the short way: Thanks. ;-)
I've found that as a young person dealing with "mature" adults who are a lot older/more experienced than me, or whose children I care for, I have to project this vibe of out-going, responsible maturity so they'll trust me, feel comfortable with me, and take me seriously. And it's not that I'm not all of those things, I guess I am. But I have to wave them around in a way that feels exaggerated-like stage acting- to get the point across. And it's the same way in a non-work social gathering type of scenario. I decide which parts of me I want to trot out for people to see first. That's all a first impression really is, you deciding which of your attributes you're going to showcase and which you're going to reserve.
But you see right through it, a lot of people probably do, but you're not going to pretend you don't just for the sake of exchanging banal pleasantries with someone at a party. And that's why it's excruciating.
At least, that's what I get, from what you said. Not that we've spent a lot of time together lately that I can tell you how your head works ;) but I know a lot of people in your field whose minds take the same paths through logic as yours does, and that's what I get from them. Revel in your social awkwardness, you're probably the next Watson or Crick. Or at least they are your acid-science homeboys.
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That's the long way of saying thanks, I guess. Here's the short way:
Thanks. ;-)
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