New Play: Rough Draft
Act 1, Scene 1
There sits, in his cab, a truck driver wearing a John Deere hat (or whatever kind of hat truck drivers wear. I’ll let you decide). The truck driver is called Ted, though his name is irrelevant. He’s driving during rush-hour on a road being reconstructed for no apparent reason. He’s listening to the radio.
Radio Newscaster: “. . . and now he’s just happy to be home with his wife and family, he says. And in entertainment news, celebrity Paris Hilton has been arrested for breaking parole on a DUI charge. According to reports, she was caught by California state troopers drinking and driving. Authorities expect to see her serve jail time. No news yet as to when her trial . . .”
He shifts his eyes to the radio and perfunctorily changes the station to. . .
Scott: “. . . K.R.O.K. - KROK Morning Talk, and you are listenin’ in with Scott and
Marsh: “Marsh!”
Scott: “How you doin’ Marsh.”
Marsh: “Well Steve, I’m just great. Had a wonderful vacation. . .”
Scott: “Where’d you go, again?”
Marsh: [laughing coquettishly] “Scott, I just told you in the break room. . . And you’ve already forgotten…”
Scott: [overlapping] “No no, for our VIEWERS. For our viewers.”
Marsh: [with irony] “Alright, sure. Well, so our viewers know, I had a lovely time in Cancun. Spending time with the family. . . drinkin’ margaritas. . .”
Ted is enjoying the banter thus far.
Scott: “You know who won’t be enjoying time in Cancun any time soon?”
Marsh: “Who?”
Scott: “Paris Hilton. Apparently . . . she was arrested just last night for breaking parole.”
Marsh: [exuberantly] “No!”
Scott: “Oh yes. And it’s looking like she might be spending some jail time.”
Marsh: “Wow, think she’ll actually get booked?”
Scott: “Who knows; you know how these celebrity trials are.”
Marsh: “Can she really be called a celebrity, though? I mean, don’t you have to do something to be a celebrity?”
Scott: “Sure, she’s rich.”
Marsh: “Not because she did anything for it. . .”
Scott: “Doesn’t matter; she’s rich, she’s slutty; and she’ famou. . .”
The truck driver rolls his eyes and changes the station to. . .
ROCK announcer: “. . . for listening to 97.5 The ROCK. And unfortunately ladies and germs we’re going to have to break our boycott on anything Paris Hilton. I know, I know, but this is just too good to miss. If she wasn’t the blunt end of every joke already, she is now. Paris was arrested last night for driving after having a few too many to drink. . . probably should have made her dog the designated driver. Now she’s looking at . . .”
Ted quickly turns off the radio, disgusted by the subject matter and the rancid jokes. We hear nothing but the light buzz of traffic. After a moment of silence:
Ted: [exasperated] All america’s a big fat whore.
Blackout
My plan is to make it a piece of a much larger montage called "all america's a big fat whore." Lack of capitalization on purpose.
There sits, in his cab, a truck driver wearing a John Deere hat (or whatever kind of hat truck drivers wear. I’ll let you decide). The truck driver is called Ted, though his name is irrelevant. He’s driving during rush-hour on a road being reconstructed for no apparent reason. He’s listening to the radio.
Radio Newscaster: “. . . and now he’s just happy to be home with his wife and family, he says. And in entertainment news, celebrity Paris Hilton has been arrested for breaking parole on a DUI charge. According to reports, she was caught by California state troopers drinking and driving. Authorities expect to see her serve jail time. No news yet as to when her trial . . .”
He shifts his eyes to the radio and perfunctorily changes the station to. . .
Scott: “. . . K.R.O.K. - KROK Morning Talk, and you are listenin’ in with Scott and
Marsh: “Marsh!”
Scott: “How you doin’ Marsh.”
Marsh: “Well Steve, I’m just great. Had a wonderful vacation. . .”
Scott: “Where’d you go, again?”
Marsh: [laughing coquettishly] “Scott, I just told you in the break room. . . And you’ve already forgotten…”
Scott: [overlapping] “No no, for our VIEWERS. For our viewers.”
Marsh: [with irony] “Alright, sure. Well, so our viewers know, I had a lovely time in Cancun. Spending time with the family. . . drinkin’ margaritas. . .”
Ted is enjoying the banter thus far.
Scott: “You know who won’t be enjoying time in Cancun any time soon?”
Marsh: “Who?”
Scott: “Paris Hilton. Apparently . . . she was arrested just last night for breaking parole.”
Marsh: [exuberantly] “No!”
Scott: “Oh yes. And it’s looking like she might be spending some jail time.”
Marsh: “Wow, think she’ll actually get booked?”
Scott: “Who knows; you know how these celebrity trials are.”
Marsh: “Can she really be called a celebrity, though? I mean, don’t you have to do something to be a celebrity?”
Scott: “Sure, she’s rich.”
Marsh: “Not because she did anything for it. . .”
Scott: “Doesn’t matter; she’s rich, she’s slutty; and she’ famou. . .”
The truck driver rolls his eyes and changes the station to. . .
ROCK announcer: “. . . for listening to 97.5 The ROCK. And unfortunately ladies and germs we’re going to have to break our boycott on anything Paris Hilton. I know, I know, but this is just too good to miss. If she wasn’t the blunt end of every joke already, she is now. Paris was arrested last night for driving after having a few too many to drink. . . probably should have made her dog the designated driver. Now she’s looking at . . .”
Ted quickly turns off the radio, disgusted by the subject matter and the rancid jokes. We hear nothing but the light buzz of traffic. After a moment of silence:
Ted: [exasperated] All america’s a big fat whore.
Blackout
My plan is to make it a piece of a much larger montage called "all america's a big fat whore." Lack of capitalization on purpose.