Ugh...
This is wrong. I'm wrong, and I should stop what I'm doing before I and up hurting myself. Again. But you can't stop something what you feel. And he is not making this any easier for me. He keeps teasing me, like he knows what it's doing to me even though I know he hasn't got a clue of what each of his smiles and kind words does to me. He? He's a nobody. No one at all. Not important. Well, he is important, of course he is, it's just that.... I don't want him to be important to me, and I don't want to feel this way about him!
And the sad part is, I can't help it. These... we'll call them feelings, are just there, and they won't go away no matter what I do. At least I'm not crying over him, that would be a catastrophe. Even today, when I was walking home from school, listening to God is a DJ by Pink on my iPod, and he went past me on his bike (he didn't say hi or anything, just went by), not acknowledging me at all, and I felt like crying when the chorus came up. If god is a dj, life is a dance floor, love is a rhythm, you are the music...
I'm being really pathetic and self-centered right now aren't I? Sorry, I just don't feel like myself today. Woah, a lot of feeling going on today as well. Even though I guess I should be happy, it's the prettiest winter day I remember. The sky is clear with no clouds, blue as ever, the snow sparkles in the sunlight, the air's fresh with just the right amount of cold... Ah, just wonderful. And still here I am, sitting inside in front of my computer, most definitely not enjoying what the day could offer me. But like I said, I'm not in the mood to be happy.
And the sad part is, I can't help it. These... we'll call them feelings, are just there, and they won't go away no matter what I do. At least I'm not crying over him, that would be a catastrophe. Even today, when I was walking home from school, listening to God is a DJ by Pink on my iPod, and he went past me on his bike (he didn't say hi or anything, just went by), not acknowledging me at all, and I felt like crying when the chorus came up. If god is a dj, life is a dance floor, love is a rhythm, you are the music...
I'm being really pathetic and self-centered right now aren't I? Sorry, I just don't feel like myself today. Woah, a lot of feeling going on today as well. Even though I guess I should be happy, it's the prettiest winter day I remember. The sky is clear with no clouds, blue as ever, the snow sparkles in the sunlight, the air's fresh with just the right amount of cold... Ah, just wonderful. And still here I am, sitting inside in front of my computer, most definitely not enjoying what the day could offer me. But like I said, I'm not in the mood to be happy.