love?
my parents got me thinking yesterday
(ahahaha i just realized...what doesnt? i think too much!)
but for the first time ever, my mom mentioned something about wanting me to have someone who'll love me
(coz we were talking about my sister and how its a good thing that she has somebody who loves her)
which kinda indicates that she wants me to have a boyfriend
but the thing is, i can totally imagine myself growing old and being alone for the rest of my life
i dont see how anyone would be able to love me, or at least someone that i love too
i'm not lovable at all...
and to actually have that same kind of attraction, to me is, virtually impossible
then my dad kinda mentioned about how people who are too independent tend to be more self centered (and a bunch of other things)
which made me reflect on the person that i am...
because i am an independent person.
i find myself sounding really cynical/cold when it comes to love and sacrificing for love
in this case, i dont see how the importance of your boyfriend/girlfriend would overweigh your own development of your career and what you want to do and where you want to live
you can say i've never truly loved before
which is probably true
so i dont know
i dont understand and i dont get why people would do that
if it was God i'd understand...
but not for another person that you love.
its not that i dont know how to love people, its just that i dont know how to love romantically
or maybe i just dont know how to love. period.
all ive been doing is being nice to others.
oh these neverending thoughts lol
but maybe i really am just a selfish person who only cares about herself...
(ahahaha i just realized...what doesnt? i think too much!)
but for the first time ever, my mom mentioned something about wanting me to have someone who'll love me
(coz we were talking about my sister and how its a good thing that she has somebody who loves her)
which kinda indicates that she wants me to have a boyfriend
but the thing is, i can totally imagine myself growing old and being alone for the rest of my life
i dont see how anyone would be able to love me, or at least someone that i love too
i'm not lovable at all...
and to actually have that same kind of attraction, to me is, virtually impossible
then my dad kinda mentioned about how people who are too independent tend to be more self centered (and a bunch of other things)
which made me reflect on the person that i am...
because i am an independent person.
i find myself sounding really cynical/cold when it comes to love and sacrificing for love
in this case, i dont see how the importance of your boyfriend/girlfriend would overweigh your own development of your career and what you want to do and where you want to live
you can say i've never truly loved before
which is probably true
so i dont know
i dont understand and i dont get why people would do that
if it was God i'd understand...
but not for another person that you love.
its not that i dont know how to love people, its just that i dont know how to love romantically
or maybe i just dont know how to love. period.
all ive been doing is being nice to others.
oh these neverending thoughts lol
but maybe i really am just a selfish person who only cares about herself...