Things are changing
CHANGE!!!
The bittersweet taste of it all is enticing and revolting all at once. At the moment, that's my life in a nutshell. Ever since Ryan found out that I'm not moving to Georgia, he bumped up his game and has been the even sweeter and loving boyfriend I want and deserve. He even invites me to dinner with the kids. Surprise, I know!
Now onto the bitter part, my family flew out yesterday :( I really am going to miss them, especially Wolfy. We have the same bond Jonah and I share, but slightly stronger. It's weird and I love it. He loves me unconditionally and it's a magical thing. I have to stay positive and think about how wonderful it will be when I fly out there and visit them. Hopefully they all remember me, if not, it's okay. We can re-build the bond.
The sweeter: I start Pharmacy Tech school on Monday! Yeah, sure it's debt, but it's a big investment in my future and life. It's only 8 months, then I'll get myself a new job. I've already wasted 26 years, I'm not going to make it 27. That's a huge part of why I didn't move with my family. I need to start doing things that work for me and my life. I need to build my future, here and now. I can't always be dependent on family being around. Not saying that they won't be, now there's just a little distance there, but we're stronger than ever. Holidays will be a little lonely, but I'll be okay. I'll work through them.
I don't see Washington being my forever home. I kind of want to explore Portland some more. It's a really neat place, it feels like a hybrid of WA+CA, two places I've called home. So why not make Portland home #3? It won't be for a while. I have to go to school, get a new job, build report so I can transfer or find another job down there. Maybe even try California again, maaaybe. Now you're thinking, 'What about Ryan?' What about him? If things progress, then yay! If they don't, then I'm still building MY life and if he's not part of it, then that's okay too. I'm in no hurry to marry or settle down. I'm just getting started up!
So, here's to the future! Hopefully I blow the fuck up, in a good way :)
...I can see our fingers are intertwined, all your wrinkle perfectly seared with mine...
The bittersweet taste of it all is enticing and revolting all at once. At the moment, that's my life in a nutshell. Ever since Ryan found out that I'm not moving to Georgia, he bumped up his game and has been the even sweeter and loving boyfriend I want and deserve. He even invites me to dinner with the kids. Surprise, I know!
Now onto the bitter part, my family flew out yesterday :( I really am going to miss them, especially Wolfy. We have the same bond Jonah and I share, but slightly stronger. It's weird and I love it. He loves me unconditionally and it's a magical thing. I have to stay positive and think about how wonderful it will be when I fly out there and visit them. Hopefully they all remember me, if not, it's okay. We can re-build the bond.
The sweeter: I start Pharmacy Tech school on Monday! Yeah, sure it's debt, but it's a big investment in my future and life. It's only 8 months, then I'll get myself a new job. I've already wasted 26 years, I'm not going to make it 27. That's a huge part of why I didn't move with my family. I need to start doing things that work for me and my life. I need to build my future, here and now. I can't always be dependent on family being around. Not saying that they won't be, now there's just a little distance there, but we're stronger than ever. Holidays will be a little lonely, but I'll be okay. I'll work through them.
I don't see Washington being my forever home. I kind of want to explore Portland some more. It's a really neat place, it feels like a hybrid of WA+CA, two places I've called home. So why not make Portland home #3? It won't be for a while. I have to go to school, get a new job, build report so I can transfer or find another job down there. Maybe even try California again, maaaybe. Now you're thinking, 'What about Ryan?' What about him? If things progress, then yay! If they don't, then I'm still building MY life and if he's not part of it, then that's okay too. I'm in no hurry to marry or settle down. I'm just getting started up!
So, here's to the future! Hopefully I blow the fuck up, in a good way :)
...I can see our fingers are intertwined, all your wrinkle perfectly seared with mine...