What about me, am I a jew?!
I've been listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack just about everyday now, I can't stop. I'm probably the only one out there my age that enjoys the shit out of it, everyone else is probably well into their 40's-50's.
Disc. 2 has definitely been the outlet to my crazy emotions lately.
I feel pinned-down (and not in the sexy way), nervous, anxious, lost, sad, and tired. I definitely don't have the same kind of motivation I had last year. I feel like I accomplished so much in those last couple of months of 2008, more than I've accomplished in my entire life-span. Then I felt inspired and wanted to kick the shit out of this year. I know I've been trying hard, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.
I'm running on a timeline until April, that's when if I can't afford to pay the $400 rent here, then i have to move on and find somewhere else to go. Which should motivate me completely, but instead it deflates my whole spirit.
My one friend that I thought of moving in with joined the Army, so really, I don't know where I would/will go if they kick me out. I don't know how I could afford my own place, when today my paycheck hasn't even arrived and I'm working shit hours.
Do I save what money I do get and go find some place to go? Or do I scrounge up what I can to pay rent here? Sure, it'll stretch out the time I get to stay here, but how does that help me become independent if I'm barely paying the rent here?
At the most, I could live here until October, the baby would be around 4 months and would then need its own room. God, I just don't know what to fucking do!
Something good needs to happen soon.
...there will be someday when your eyes do not enthrall me...
Disc. 2 has definitely been the outlet to my crazy emotions lately.
I feel pinned-down (and not in the sexy way), nervous, anxious, lost, sad, and tired. I definitely don't have the same kind of motivation I had last year. I feel like I accomplished so much in those last couple of months of 2008, more than I've accomplished in my entire life-span. Then I felt inspired and wanted to kick the shit out of this year. I know I've been trying hard, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.
I'm running on a timeline until April, that's when if I can't afford to pay the $400 rent here, then i have to move on and find somewhere else to go. Which should motivate me completely, but instead it deflates my whole spirit.
My one friend that I thought of moving in with joined the Army, so really, I don't know where I would/will go if they kick me out. I don't know how I could afford my own place, when today my paycheck hasn't even arrived and I'm working shit hours.
Do I save what money I do get and go find some place to go? Or do I scrounge up what I can to pay rent here? Sure, it'll stretch out the time I get to stay here, but how does that help me become independent if I'm barely paying the rent here?
At the most, I could live here until October, the baby would be around 4 months and would then need its own room. God, I just don't know what to fucking do!
Something good needs to happen soon.
...there will be someday when your eyes do not enthrall me...