(no subject)
I feel like a smear on the window, a red tangerine bitten piece of a puzzle forgotton beneath your feet. Keep your beauty to yourself, because right now I hate you. I want you to dissappear, never speak to me again, float away, do not be nice, change your face, kill the light in your eyes. Love your ex-girlfriend so then I know why you don't love me. I hate you so much right now I want to forget you. Not a thing easily announced on someone. I regret the day I ever met you, ever said hello. I should have broken your hand when you reached into heart, beneath my clothes. I should have bitten off your tongue when you spoke sweet things and placed them inside my mouth. I should have broken your heart when I had you vulnerable, in my bed, frightened and fragile. I want to curse you, curse you, curse. I want to stop wanting you. When I awoke in the strange white palace you were my first thought, a dream teetering on the edge of sleep and wakefulness. And my second thought, why am I still here. I prayed so hard. I prayed so hard.