The Day that never comes
So I have friends that tell me I need help, I know Im depressed, but i feel there is nothing i can do about it. I dont want to seek help and have them label me "Clinically Depressed" and have it go in some record somewhere that the fire department can find it and not wanna hire me because i could be a liablity or something along those lines. So going back to it, I wanna help myself, I distance myself from my main depressant, but somehow i get sucked back in, whether it be a phone call or text message accusing me of cheating, or some shit like that or to how she wished she would have dumped me sooner. I went to the bookstore the other day and got a book "Depression For Dummies" I understand its not the best self help tool i can use but its a start. So i have been reading it, and I think i found the two "disorders" i have, 1) Major Depression, but i dont have thoughts of suicide, well not anymore and 2) Ajustment Disorder with Depressed Moods. Well I kinds of got pissed at my parents and sister the other night at dinner for my fathers birthday. My sister messaged me on the varity of different things that we can have, and she told me she thinks im clinical depressed. Im a wreck, in 5 months i have lost 9 pounds....Im not a fat person at all i should be gaining weight not losing it...I was 135 pounds not anymore...I need to get help now, because this is so much bigger then I am. Im not strong enough to face this on my own, or to go about it alone. I need to do something before Im to far gone to be helped.......