I hate good memories.
Why do I miss her soo much? Why do
I even deserve to have a heart? I just now realize that I ruined
everything I ever had with her all because of sex. I hate sex so much
right now it makes me sick to my stomach. If I hadn't been so demanding
of sexual activity me and Marie would still be together right now. As
it is now she can barely stand to talk to me...much less see me.I know
that Kev's probably gonna think I'm going soft, but I have deep
feelings for certain people. I may talk about her like I hate her
and all, but it really just means that I miss her. I don't understand
myself not one bit at all. If it weren't for friends like Amanda 
silentspiffa, Miranda and Kevih82luviluv2h8 I would be socially dead. Pretty much I would have no close friends. Well, that would leave me with Justin. Bit I feel like me and him are slowly drifting apart. Almost as if our lives are taking different paths for awhile.I never see or hear from him at all anymore. I really miss you man. But anyways, I know if I had shown Marie the respect she deserves as a woman and girlfriend I would'nt be writing this in my journal right now. I probably wouldn't be writing at all. It seems to me that I only write when something bad happens in my life. Not the case anymore. I am the proud owner of AOL internet service.Yeah baby! That means you guys get to hear from me all the time. But back to the Marie thing, I hate it how I am forced to look back on my relationship with her knowing that I could've prevented our break-up on many occasions by just being with her and enjoying my time with her by my side instead of having sex with her or getting a blowjob from her or vice versa. Why was I so blind not to see that sex destroys love? I wish I could turn back time and hold her hand forever. I wish I could take a nap with her every sunday afternoon and then wake up with her beautiful green eyes staring right at me. I miss her smile, her laugh, and her charm. Even after we've broken up her image still clouds my mind. Maybe even more so. I want my baby back. I want that more than anything. I can't stand unrequeted love. It hurts soo much when you can't have the one thing you want. And that you may have lost it forever. I would give up anything in this world to have her back. ANYTHING! She is that important to me. Why? Why does all this always happen to me? I can't date anyone without getting attached to them. Do I fall in love too easily? I know that I can't be alone. Unless I have a close friend nearby to take my mind off of it for awhile it can't happen. I need to be loved. I need to love somebody more than anything. Nothing else will ever make me happy again, except for love. I hate money. I hate dreams. All they do is leave me empty and wanting. Love is the only thing that fills me. Without her, I am empty. Nothing, except me without love. Which is a sad, dispicable person. You know how the truth usually comes out when you get drunk? Well, when I was drunk all of the people that lived on my floor told me that I kept screaming and crying about how horrible and bad of a person I was. I believe them. Why would they lie about something like that? And I think it's true. I need to go through some major changes before I can truly be happy with myself. I'm definately gonna be ready the next time I'm in a serious relationship. I just hope it's with Marie. I don't know anymore. I guess I'll just take life as it comes for now. As long as it doesn't keep running me over with a semi! 'Till next time I hope.....Robbie
silentspiffa, Miranda and Kevih82luviluv2h8 I would be socially dead. Pretty much I would have no close friends. Well, that would leave me with Justin. Bit I feel like me and him are slowly drifting apart. Almost as if our lives are taking different paths for awhile.I never see or hear from him at all anymore. I really miss you man. But anyways, I know if I had shown Marie the respect she deserves as a woman and girlfriend I would'nt be writing this in my journal right now. I probably wouldn't be writing at all. It seems to me that I only write when something bad happens in my life. Not the case anymore. I am the proud owner of AOL internet service.Yeah baby! That means you guys get to hear from me all the time. But back to the Marie thing, I hate it how I am forced to look back on my relationship with her knowing that I could've prevented our break-up on many occasions by just being with her and enjoying my time with her by my side instead of having sex with her or getting a blowjob from her or vice versa. Why was I so blind not to see that sex destroys love? I wish I could turn back time and hold her hand forever. I wish I could take a nap with her every sunday afternoon and then wake up with her beautiful green eyes staring right at me. I miss her smile, her laugh, and her charm. Even after we've broken up her image still clouds my mind. Maybe even more so. I want my baby back. I want that more than anything. I can't stand unrequeted love. It hurts soo much when you can't have the one thing you want. And that you may have lost it forever. I would give up anything in this world to have her back. ANYTHING! She is that important to me. Why? Why does all this always happen to me? I can't date anyone without getting attached to them. Do I fall in love too easily? I know that I can't be alone. Unless I have a close friend nearby to take my mind off of it for awhile it can't happen. I need to be loved. I need to love somebody more than anything. Nothing else will ever make me happy again, except for love. I hate money. I hate dreams. All they do is leave me empty and wanting. Love is the only thing that fills me. Without her, I am empty. Nothing, except me without love. Which is a sad, dispicable person. You know how the truth usually comes out when you get drunk? Well, when I was drunk all of the people that lived on my floor told me that I kept screaming and crying about how horrible and bad of a person I was. I believe them. Why would they lie about something like that? And I think it's true. I need to go through some major changes before I can truly be happy with myself. I'm definately gonna be ready the next time I'm in a serious relationship. I just hope it's with Marie. I don't know anymore. I guess I'll just take life as it comes for now. As long as it doesn't keep running me over with a semi! 'Till next time I hope.....Robbie