There's nowhere else that I can go...
I really just wanted to type out some of the things I'm feeling and oh, my god.... there are a lot, but at the risk of people from my Facebook or even my MySpace account looking at the things I write in my "so-called" journal I'm not too keen on the idea that all my friends are gonna be looking at me gushing about nothing...
Ben and I have broken up, and I need to accept that. I'm having the most problems with the fact that I guess I'm not getting what I want out of it. I'm having the most problems with the fact that he and I still live together and are constantly in the same room and the same areas at the same time! Nome is so small that it seems like if I ever even got close to shutting him out of my life that I would never be able to escape him...EVER.
Then there's the whole "I'm moving out and you can have Nome for the winter" thing that he's pulling. I mean, are you serious? I know I'm jobless at the moment and I have no right to sound like I'm deserving, but COME ON! There has to be some light at the end of this tunnel and from where I'm sitting it doesn't look good...
Speaking of jobs, I've applied everywhere it seems and I'm not getting any responses. I know the college is looking to fill the position and I;ve been hoping that the position will go to me! Jeremy says that there's jobs available at the rec center and I would have a great shot at getting it! I hope that there's a point where I can just be a person that takes jobs without working for them.
Aand on to Jeremy. He's a really nice guy. Too nice. I mean, there's never been a man in my life besides like, Brandon who's ever made me feel like the way that I'm feeling right now. As stupid as it sounds, I had no real desire to go out with him in the first place, whether Ben and I were dating at the time or not. And I knew the risks and I decided to take them head-on anyway and look where it's gotten me, NOWHERE!
Oh well, time to wrap it up, I;m really not here for anything anymore, so in the off chance you see this and are like, "Where did the girl who had crap humor go?" then she died a LOOOOOONNNG time ago!
- Tamara Bryanette Victoria Amora-Treend
Ben and I have broken up, and I need to accept that. I'm having the most problems with the fact that I guess I'm not getting what I want out of it. I'm having the most problems with the fact that he and I still live together and are constantly in the same room and the same areas at the same time! Nome is so small that it seems like if I ever even got close to shutting him out of my life that I would never be able to escape him...EVER.
Then there's the whole "I'm moving out and you can have Nome for the winter" thing that he's pulling. I mean, are you serious? I know I'm jobless at the moment and I have no right to sound like I'm deserving, but COME ON! There has to be some light at the end of this tunnel and from where I'm sitting it doesn't look good...
Speaking of jobs, I've applied everywhere it seems and I'm not getting any responses. I know the college is looking to fill the position and I;ve been hoping that the position will go to me! Jeremy says that there's jobs available at the rec center and I would have a great shot at getting it! I hope that there's a point where I can just be a person that takes jobs without working for them.
Aand on to Jeremy. He's a really nice guy. Too nice. I mean, there's never been a man in my life besides like, Brandon who's ever made me feel like the way that I'm feeling right now. As stupid as it sounds, I had no real desire to go out with him in the first place, whether Ben and I were dating at the time or not. And I knew the risks and I decided to take them head-on anyway and look where it's gotten me, NOWHERE!
Oh well, time to wrap it up, I;m really not here for anything anymore, so in the off chance you see this and are like, "Where did the girl who had crap humor go?" then she died a LOOOOOONNNG time ago!
- Tamara Bryanette Victoria Amora-Treend