(no subject)
So today, I had a pretty hard assignment to finish. I had to determine what 'peer group' I was a part of in high school. Oh geez. So after much thinking, I circled 'other' and penned in 'teenager'. I am not going to circle one of those choices, because I did it all. I was a brain, I was part of academic meetings, I did do sports, I did do theatre/tech, I was popular(not by choice), I did do outlandish things, well I wasn't emo. But I did a majority of the things, by my own choice, not because I was trying to fit in, or trying to prove something. I just did it because I enjoyed it. That's all.
You know, more and more, people are trying to cut me down lately. I don't quite understand that though. I mean I'm open to constructive criticism, but when they're just saying shit for no reason other than to make another feel like shit, then they're sad, especially when I don't feel like shit. Lols. Don't just sit there and insult a person, be constructive about it. Don't just say "I'm stupid." I'm stupid for what? What can I do to make sure I'm not stupid? Say something like, "You're stupid because...'insert the reason why, and even give a possible solution.' It is easy to just blurt out insults, but why did you blurt it out? When I ask most people 'Why?' after they try to insult me, a majority of the people can't even give me an answer, much less a decent one, or something stupid like, 'because.' I get pissed off then, not because they insulted me, but because they wasted my time. That sort of shit is high school shit, grow up. Personally, I don't really care for compliments or attention all that much, although sometimes I rarely do, but most of the time I just shrug it off, hence my comments, "Uh huh" or "Yeah...I know that" and most of the time when I get comments it's because it's used to try and start a conversation with me. More often then not, I'm thinking something along the lines when the comment is said, "Okay, what does this person want from me" or "Is this person on crack?" When I do accept it, I accept it warmly, and sometimes I have a tendency to blow it out of proportion, but I always feel good especially when it's a sincere compliment, I might talk about it all day, but we all want to feel good right even if it is for a little while?
Like today, TJ was complimenting me, and Michael was like, "Oh god another EGO booster." And I was trying to read, I didn't even care for the compliment. I was actually more focused on the book. But it annoyed me to think that someone would remark like that, especially when it had nothing to do with them, and for me to be expected to say something arrogant or something. Geez, it's things like this, that make it so hard for people to get to know me when in actuality I'm not all that hard to get to know. People have so many false misconceived notions about me, and everything else in life. I'm expected to act a certain way everytime? I mean worry more about yourselves, and just let me be me, don't figure me out, just let me be me.
Most often than not, when someone say's they hate someone whether it be someone at work, someone they know really well, or even a total stranger, they don't actually hate the person. They hate the personality, characteristics, and what he/she does/say. I was taught to deal with it, find a way to deal with it because no matter what you do in life, if you don't find a way to cope, then you're not going to get anywhere. Because if you find the same qualities in another person later on in life, whether it be your new boss, lawyer, teacher, whatever, are you going to end up hating that person too? If you can learn how to deal with the qualities you hate, then you can be sure to know how to deal with it everytime it surfaces.
And to those people who are wishing I would change or are constantly trying to change me. I'm not going to change unless I want to, and even then it's impossible. You can't change who you are, your essence deep down inside. You can force yourself to believe against it and gradually accept it but when you're forced into a situation where you had only the two options, you're always going to go with your instinct which is the nature you're born with. If you people want to go play, "Change" go find someone else. I'm not a fucking dress up doll you can customize to your liking. Everyone is different, no two people are exactly the same ever...no matter how well you know a person, there will always be something you don't know about the other even if you're twins or spend 200 years with the other...there will always be things you don't know. Stop trying to change the other person, and wondering about the other person, just accept the other, and live your life as who you are, that way, you live LIFE for yourself, instead of for someone else, and if the others accept you, then it's called FRIENDSHIP or even LOVE. And this way, it'll always be true because you like the other person for being exactly who they are. There are no secrets if you are yourself. Too many people these days CHANGE for the other person, or for their friends because their friends asked them to, and that will never work out, because after a while, they ALWAYS revert back to who they were, especially in difficult times.
Also, those who try to change other people are really the arrogant ones. Why? Because they think that their way is better and there is room for nothing else but their way. That's all it is, they think that if people don't act like them, talk like them, think like them, dress like that them, or even look like them, that that's inferior. That's just like you being Hitler, and trying to exterminate other people because they're not like you. That's all it is, except he didn't bother to change, he just said, fuck it, I'm killing the lot of you there lies the difference. However both methods leave no room for just simply 'accepting' the person.
In the end, yes we are human beings, and yes we do make mistakes, but we can always minimize those mistakes by using what is given to us, our brains to think things through and hearts to make us happy inside.
You know, more and more, people are trying to cut me down lately. I don't quite understand that though. I mean I'm open to constructive criticism, but when they're just saying shit for no reason other than to make another feel like shit, then they're sad, especially when I don't feel like shit. Lols. Don't just sit there and insult a person, be constructive about it. Don't just say "I'm stupid." I'm stupid for what? What can I do to make sure I'm not stupid? Say something like, "You're stupid because...'insert the reason why, and even give a possible solution.' It is easy to just blurt out insults, but why did you blurt it out? When I ask most people 'Why?' after they try to insult me, a majority of the people can't even give me an answer, much less a decent one, or something stupid like, 'because.' I get pissed off then, not because they insulted me, but because they wasted my time. That sort of shit is high school shit, grow up. Personally, I don't really care for compliments or attention all that much, although sometimes I rarely do, but most of the time I just shrug it off, hence my comments, "Uh huh" or "Yeah...I know that" and most of the time when I get comments it's because it's used to try and start a conversation with me. More often then not, I'm thinking something along the lines when the comment is said, "Okay, what does this person want from me" or "Is this person on crack?" When I do accept it, I accept it warmly, and sometimes I have a tendency to blow it out of proportion, but I always feel good especially when it's a sincere compliment, I might talk about it all day, but we all want to feel good right even if it is for a little while?
Like today, TJ was complimenting me, and Michael was like, "Oh god another EGO booster." And I was trying to read, I didn't even care for the compliment. I was actually more focused on the book. But it annoyed me to think that someone would remark like that, especially when it had nothing to do with them, and for me to be expected to say something arrogant or something. Geez, it's things like this, that make it so hard for people to get to know me when in actuality I'm not all that hard to get to know. People have so many false misconceived notions about me, and everything else in life. I'm expected to act a certain way everytime? I mean worry more about yourselves, and just let me be me, don't figure me out, just let me be me.
Most often than not, when someone say's they hate someone whether it be someone at work, someone they know really well, or even a total stranger, they don't actually hate the person. They hate the personality, characteristics, and what he/she does/say. I was taught to deal with it, find a way to deal with it because no matter what you do in life, if you don't find a way to cope, then you're not going to get anywhere. Because if you find the same qualities in another person later on in life, whether it be your new boss, lawyer, teacher, whatever, are you going to end up hating that person too? If you can learn how to deal with the qualities you hate, then you can be sure to know how to deal with it everytime it surfaces.
And to those people who are wishing I would change or are constantly trying to change me. I'm not going to change unless I want to, and even then it's impossible. You can't change who you are, your essence deep down inside. You can force yourself to believe against it and gradually accept it but when you're forced into a situation where you had only the two options, you're always going to go with your instinct which is the nature you're born with. If you people want to go play, "Change" go find someone else. I'm not a fucking dress up doll you can customize to your liking. Everyone is different, no two people are exactly the same ever...no matter how well you know a person, there will always be something you don't know about the other even if you're twins or spend 200 years with the other...there will always be things you don't know. Stop trying to change the other person, and wondering about the other person, just accept the other, and live your life as who you are, that way, you live LIFE for yourself, instead of for someone else, and if the others accept you, then it's called FRIENDSHIP or even LOVE. And this way, it'll always be true because you like the other person for being exactly who they are. There are no secrets if you are yourself. Too many people these days CHANGE for the other person, or for their friends because their friends asked them to, and that will never work out, because after a while, they ALWAYS revert back to who they were, especially in difficult times.
Also, those who try to change other people are really the arrogant ones. Why? Because they think that their way is better and there is room for nothing else but their way. That's all it is, they think that if people don't act like them, talk like them, think like them, dress like that them, or even look like them, that that's inferior. That's just like you being Hitler, and trying to exterminate other people because they're not like you. That's all it is, except he didn't bother to change, he just said, fuck it, I'm killing the lot of you there lies the difference. However both methods leave no room for just simply 'accepting' the person.
In the end, yes we are human beings, and yes we do make mistakes, but we can always minimize those mistakes by using what is given to us, our brains to think things through and hearts to make us happy inside.