Stars.
Title: Stars
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junseung (One sided)
Comments: It's about 2AM and I just finished this. It sucks lol. It's pretty much a songfic of 별별별 by SNSD. Really pretty song. I only used the parts of it that I wanted, though. Oh, and I translated the parts myself, sooo. Yeah. I didn't like the way someone else translated it. The Korean first, the translation after.
하나 둘 셋...
One, two, three...
Hyunseung counted the numbers carefully in his head, silently giving himself the smallest push closer to opening his mouth, to saying the words he's always wanted to say, to admitting what he had denied for so long now. The few seconds were dragging by. Everything seemed to slow down to an unbearable pace, making the painful thud of his heard explode throughout his chest, making his lips take forever to part, making his open eyes stay focused on the expectant face in front of him as they seemed to take minutes upon minutes to close in that last second. But once the number "three" left his mind, so did his words. Nothing came out other than a choked, hesitant attempt at forming some sort of word.
또 하나 둘 셋…
Again, one, two, three...
He took in a deep breath, letting the oxygen flow through his body, trying to prepare himself for another try. He counted in his head again, the numbers blaring loudly in his mind, warning himself that he was dangerously close to the moment everything would be revealed. This time, however, the seconds seemed to go by all too quickly, and he found himself standing awkwardly with his eyes closed, Junhyung's all too familiar voice bringing him back to the difficult reality that had seemed to force itself upon his life.
"Yah, what do you need to say? I'm tired. I want to go inside."
Hyunseung's eyes darted around the empty hallway, the aggravated words bouncing off of the walls in an eery sort of echo that plunged itself into his ears almost painfully.
He found himself wishing he hadn't asked Junhyung to walk back with him after practice, wishing he hadn't asked him to stop in the hall, wishing he hadn't bravely declared he had a confession to make. Because he was anything but brave, and anything but ready.
"I, uh… I don't like our bed comforters. I want a black one instead."
Junhyung raised a curious brow and turned on his heel, moving towards the door.
"Idiot… You're wasting my sleeping time."
The click of the door closing echoed throughout the hallway, leaving Hyunseung frozen in place, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
미치겠다 별들아.
Stars… I'm going crazy...
Hyunseung sat in the practice room, lit up only by the stars' shining light pouring in from the windows. The frigid floor was uncomfortable to his legs, but his mind hardly registered the feeling, his eyes transfixed upon the blanket of stars spread across the midnight sky. He let out a slow breath, his clouded mind not allowing him to even process the events of that night.
"Stars," he whispered softly. "Does wishing on stars really work?"
아무리 쳐다봐도 니가 보이질 않아,
두 눈에 가득 고인 눈물 때문에.
다 너 때문에.
No matter how hard I look, I can't see you
Because of the tears welled up in my two eyes.
All because of you.
Hyunseung shifted in his bed quietly, turning around so he was facing Junhyung, the soft breaths coming from his sleeping form clearly audible. Warm rivulets flowed from his eyes, seeping into his pillow, controlled breaths making his lungs ache painfully. His tear filled eyes searched the sleeping face desperately, trying with all his might to make out the details, but everything was blurred by the stinging wetness that seemed to be partial to his eyes during this time of night as of late.
번져진 글자 위로 비친 우는 내 얼굴…
또 울지 말라고 날 다짐해봐도 또 울어.
Seeing my reflection in the tear-stained words I write...
Although I swore I wouldn't cry, I cry again.
He sat at a desk, feverishly writing out each word his heart screamed. His hand ached as he continued at a rushed pace, tears rolling down his cheeks and splashing on each word, smudging them into an almost alien looking script, erasing every advance closer to his dream.
With a frustrated sigh, he threw the papers to the side, letting them flutter to the ground as he hastily wiped all traces of tears from his face. He silently vowed to never cry over such a silly thing as love, but even as he promised himself, fresh tears sprang in his eyes, threatening to fall.
나 어떡해?
나 이렇게
다 너 땜에.
나 아무것도 할 수 없잖아.
What do I do?
I'm like this
All because of you.
I can't do a single thing.
They were schedule free for the day. Each member found their own activity to attend to. Everyone was out enjoying their day off, but Hyunseung stayed in the dorm, lazing in his bed, swollen eyes unfocused. Sharp, hitching breaths passed his lips, filling his abused lungs with much needed air.
He wanted to get up, he wanted to enjoy his day, he wanted to get his mind off of the one person that made everything feel like torture, but he couldn't even gather the strength to sit up. His entire body felt so overwhelmingly lethargic, but he almost couldn't bring himself to care.
별별별, 별만큼 사랑해.
Star, star, star, I love you as much as the stars.
Like before, Hyunseung sat in the practice room, glazed eyes staring at the burst of stars hanging in the sky, shivering ever so slightly as the cold wood of the floors seeped deep into his bones. The once warm tears turned into a cold wetness slowly drying on his cheeks.
He suddenly remembered his mother once telling him the stars existed to guide him through his dark times; they were there to help him see the bright side to every bad situation. But Hyunseung would give up the stars for Junhyung. He loved Junhyung just as much--no, more than the stars. He wouldn't need the shining guidance if he had Junhyung's warm hand to hold. Nothing would feel dark again.
너를 찾아 저 멀리서
넌 Shining star.
I search for you far away.
You are a shining star.
Hyunseung watched Junhyung walk ahead of him, the cold winds of the night caressing his cheeks with a contradictory comfort, feeling so lonely. It felt as though Junhyung was so far, so unreachable, despite the few feet between the two of them. Everything seemed overwhelmingly difficult, as though he would only ever be able to admire from afar. Reaching out a hand hesitantly towards the sky, he wished he could take each star in the palm of his hand to present to Junhyung, to mock the stars and show them the real definition of beauty.
"You make them look dull, you know," he whispered softly, eyeing the sky as he continued to walk.
별별별 별말을 다 해봐도,
표현이 안돼 정말.
너무나 답답해.
이제 난 어떻게 해야 하나.
Even with all the things I could say,
I really can't express my feelings.
I'm so frustrated.
What am I supposed to do now?
Choked words once again attempted to free themselves from his throat, unsuccessfully bringing meaning to his awkward, nonsensical babble. Tangling fingers into his own hair, he tugged hard, yearning for an escape. He wanted to scream, wanted to thrash around, wanted to let Junhyung know how terrible it was to be so in love with him, to want to spend every single moment holding his hand, awake or not. He wanted to show him how miserable he was, how immensely agonizing it felt each day, unable to say what his body, mind, and soul screamed at him.
He was at a loss of what to do.
꼭 부탁해,
꼭 하늘에.
제발.
I ask earnestly
To the sky.
Please.
Hands desperately placed themselves on the cold glass of the window, wide, teary eyes staring at the starry sky. His fingers curled, trying in vain to grasp onto something, anything. Harsh sobs racked his body, making him shake with each inhale, a cry ripping through his throat on each exhale.
"Please… Help me…"
He had never bothered wishing on a star.
But he didn't know what else to do.
So yeah, shit ending, but I'm tired. XD Deal.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junseung (One sided)
Comments: It's about 2AM and I just finished this. It sucks lol. It's pretty much a songfic of 별별별 by SNSD. Really pretty song. I only used the parts of it that I wanted, though. Oh, and I translated the parts myself, sooo. Yeah. I didn't like the way someone else translated it. The Korean first, the translation after.
하나 둘 셋...
One, two, three...
Hyunseung counted the numbers carefully in his head, silently giving himself the smallest push closer to opening his mouth, to saying the words he's always wanted to say, to admitting what he had denied for so long now. The few seconds were dragging by. Everything seemed to slow down to an unbearable pace, making the painful thud of his heard explode throughout his chest, making his lips take forever to part, making his open eyes stay focused on the expectant face in front of him as they seemed to take minutes upon minutes to close in that last second. But once the number "three" left his mind, so did his words. Nothing came out other than a choked, hesitant attempt at forming some sort of word.
또 하나 둘 셋…
Again, one, two, three...
He took in a deep breath, letting the oxygen flow through his body, trying to prepare himself for another try. He counted in his head again, the numbers blaring loudly in his mind, warning himself that he was dangerously close to the moment everything would be revealed. This time, however, the seconds seemed to go by all too quickly, and he found himself standing awkwardly with his eyes closed, Junhyung's all too familiar voice bringing him back to the difficult reality that had seemed to force itself upon his life.
"Yah, what do you need to say? I'm tired. I want to go inside."
Hyunseung's eyes darted around the empty hallway, the aggravated words bouncing off of the walls in an eery sort of echo that plunged itself into his ears almost painfully.
He found himself wishing he hadn't asked Junhyung to walk back with him after practice, wishing he hadn't asked him to stop in the hall, wishing he hadn't bravely declared he had a confession to make. Because he was anything but brave, and anything but ready.
"I, uh… I don't like our bed comforters. I want a black one instead."
Junhyung raised a curious brow and turned on his heel, moving towards the door.
"Idiot… You're wasting my sleeping time."
The click of the door closing echoed throughout the hallway, leaving Hyunseung frozen in place, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
미치겠다 별들아.
Stars… I'm going crazy...
Hyunseung sat in the practice room, lit up only by the stars' shining light pouring in from the windows. The frigid floor was uncomfortable to his legs, but his mind hardly registered the feeling, his eyes transfixed upon the blanket of stars spread across the midnight sky. He let out a slow breath, his clouded mind not allowing him to even process the events of that night.
"Stars," he whispered softly. "Does wishing on stars really work?"
아무리 쳐다봐도 니가 보이질 않아,
두 눈에 가득 고인 눈물 때문에.
다 너 때문에.
No matter how hard I look, I can't see you
Because of the tears welled up in my two eyes.
All because of you.
Hyunseung shifted in his bed quietly, turning around so he was facing Junhyung, the soft breaths coming from his sleeping form clearly audible. Warm rivulets flowed from his eyes, seeping into his pillow, controlled breaths making his lungs ache painfully. His tear filled eyes searched the sleeping face desperately, trying with all his might to make out the details, but everything was blurred by the stinging wetness that seemed to be partial to his eyes during this time of night as of late.
번져진 글자 위로 비친 우는 내 얼굴…
또 울지 말라고 날 다짐해봐도 또 울어.
Seeing my reflection in the tear-stained words I write...
Although I swore I wouldn't cry, I cry again.
He sat at a desk, feverishly writing out each word his heart screamed. His hand ached as he continued at a rushed pace, tears rolling down his cheeks and splashing on each word, smudging them into an almost alien looking script, erasing every advance closer to his dream.
With a frustrated sigh, he threw the papers to the side, letting them flutter to the ground as he hastily wiped all traces of tears from his face. He silently vowed to never cry over such a silly thing as love, but even as he promised himself, fresh tears sprang in his eyes, threatening to fall.
나 어떡해?
나 이렇게
다 너 땜에.
나 아무것도 할 수 없잖아.
What do I do?
I'm like this
All because of you.
I can't do a single thing.
They were schedule free for the day. Each member found their own activity to attend to. Everyone was out enjoying their day off, but Hyunseung stayed in the dorm, lazing in his bed, swollen eyes unfocused. Sharp, hitching breaths passed his lips, filling his abused lungs with much needed air.
He wanted to get up, he wanted to enjoy his day, he wanted to get his mind off of the one person that made everything feel like torture, but he couldn't even gather the strength to sit up. His entire body felt so overwhelmingly lethargic, but he almost couldn't bring himself to care.
별별별, 별만큼 사랑해.
Star, star, star, I love you as much as the stars.
Like before, Hyunseung sat in the practice room, glazed eyes staring at the burst of stars hanging in the sky, shivering ever so slightly as the cold wood of the floors seeped deep into his bones. The once warm tears turned into a cold wetness slowly drying on his cheeks.
He suddenly remembered his mother once telling him the stars existed to guide him through his dark times; they were there to help him see the bright side to every bad situation. But Hyunseung would give up the stars for Junhyung. He loved Junhyung just as much--no, more than the stars. He wouldn't need the shining guidance if he had Junhyung's warm hand to hold. Nothing would feel dark again.
너를 찾아 저 멀리서
넌 Shining star.
I search for you far away.
You are a shining star.
Hyunseung watched Junhyung walk ahead of him, the cold winds of the night caressing his cheeks with a contradictory comfort, feeling so lonely. It felt as though Junhyung was so far, so unreachable, despite the few feet between the two of them. Everything seemed overwhelmingly difficult, as though he would only ever be able to admire from afar. Reaching out a hand hesitantly towards the sky, he wished he could take each star in the palm of his hand to present to Junhyung, to mock the stars and show them the real definition of beauty.
"You make them look dull, you know," he whispered softly, eyeing the sky as he continued to walk.
별별별 별말을 다 해봐도,
표현이 안돼 정말.
너무나 답답해.
이제 난 어떻게 해야 하나.
Even with all the things I could say,
I really can't express my feelings.
I'm so frustrated.
What am I supposed to do now?
Choked words once again attempted to free themselves from his throat, unsuccessfully bringing meaning to his awkward, nonsensical babble. Tangling fingers into his own hair, he tugged hard, yearning for an escape. He wanted to scream, wanted to thrash around, wanted to let Junhyung know how terrible it was to be so in love with him, to want to spend every single moment holding his hand, awake or not. He wanted to show him how miserable he was, how immensely agonizing it felt each day, unable to say what his body, mind, and soul screamed at him.
He was at a loss of what to do.
꼭 부탁해,
꼭 하늘에.
제발.
I ask earnestly
To the sky.
Please.
Hands desperately placed themselves on the cold glass of the window, wide, teary eyes staring at the starry sky. His fingers curled, trying in vain to grasp onto something, anything. Harsh sobs racked his body, making him shake with each inhale, a cry ripping through his throat on each exhale.
"Please… Help me…"
He had never bothered wishing on a star.
But he didn't know what else to do.
So yeah, shit ending, but I'm tired. XD Deal.