(no subject)
I am filled with such ridiculous feelings of sorrow, such that really shouldn't exist right now.
I'm listening to the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice, which is beautiful, I'm sitting in the most beautiful library on campus, in the most gorgeous room, and I'm writing an essay on the love between mrs. ramsey and James in Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse.
Why do I feel so desperately sad?
I've also realized I'm developing something like feelings for Blake? Which is ridiculous, because we have nothing in common. But I just really like being around him. Way to much. We have nothing in common, every time we talk for any extended period of time, just the two of us, we end up talking about sex, and then we hook up. Seriously. I've had approximately 4 real conversations with him. I guess last night was a step in the right direction, we watched online videos and talked about next years housing situation. And then we went to sleep. In different beds. Next week it'll just be the two of us in our suites, because everyone else will have gone home for break and I"m here till the 19th. This has got to be a joke. I simply cannot have feelings for him. I refused to have feelings for anybody my entire freshman year of college, and I barely make it a semester. Of course.
He's in the Navy for fucks sake! What would we talk about? Our ideals!?!!? I'm a peace, free love, and happiness kind of girl. I don't even believe in war or the military. He's IN the military. Fuck, he's training to be an officer in it, being in the ROTC program and all that. This is the most ludicrous thing ever. I keep thinking if I just do one more thing with him I'll get him out of my system but he wont leave. He has this weird power over me. I can't decide if I like it or not. I'm so used to being the one in charge, its weird with him having the upper hand...
I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
I'm listening to the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice, which is beautiful, I'm sitting in the most beautiful library on campus, in the most gorgeous room, and I'm writing an essay on the love between mrs. ramsey and James in Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse.
Why do I feel so desperately sad?
I've also realized I'm developing something like feelings for Blake? Which is ridiculous, because we have nothing in common. But I just really like being around him. Way to much. We have nothing in common, every time we talk for any extended period of time, just the two of us, we end up talking about sex, and then we hook up. Seriously. I've had approximately 4 real conversations with him. I guess last night was a step in the right direction, we watched online videos and talked about next years housing situation. And then we went to sleep. In different beds. Next week it'll just be the two of us in our suites, because everyone else will have gone home for break and I"m here till the 19th. This has got to be a joke. I simply cannot have feelings for him. I refused to have feelings for anybody my entire freshman year of college, and I barely make it a semester. Of course.
He's in the Navy for fucks sake! What would we talk about? Our ideals!?!!? I'm a peace, free love, and happiness kind of girl. I don't even believe in war or the military. He's IN the military. Fuck, he's training to be an officer in it, being in the ROTC program and all that. This is the most ludicrous thing ever. I keep thinking if I just do one more thing with him I'll get him out of my system but he wont leave. He has this weird power over me. I can't decide if I like it or not. I'm so used to being the one in charge, its weird with him having the upper hand...
I guess I'll just have to wait and see.