Until someone loves you, I'll keep you safe...
It's Sunday, which means "secret" time...so here goes.
I realized, looking back at all the ones I've done so far, that nothing I've "confessed" really has to do with just me. It's all been closer to something like my reaction to the things people around me have done. It's not really a bad thing; I needed to get those things off my chest, and reading back on everything I've said has helped me see things a little more clearly, about those people, and especially about myself. Since I've focused enough on the former, I'll elaborate a little more on the latter...
I've come to see that it makes me feel a little bit better when the focus is on other people, and not myself. Even in confessing my secrets through here, I keep the spotlight on others.
Yet, though it all came out kind of backwards, I've accomplished what I set out to do: I've learned a little bit of myself by sharing parts of my life I sought to repress. So there's one reason today's "Sunday Secret" will be the last of that nature.
The other reason is much simpler. I found a journal. It's an interesting story, really, and maybe someday I'll feel comfortable typing it out here, but for now, that's a secret I'll hold close. All that really matters is that I'm once again filling blank pages with random and not-so random thoughts flitting around in my head, and it's helping me get back to that sanity I knew way back when. I know I'm not the same person I was back then; it'll just be interesting to see how a forgotten method of coping will help me tackle new problems I'll be facing.
To some extent, it doesn't make sense to blog and have a written journal at the same time. I guess to know the difference, a person would actually have to actively have and use both. Even then, it's a weird concept, yet one that makes some sense when thought about. Or maybe that's just the drugs I'm taking to get rid of this cold talking...
I realized, looking back at all the ones I've done so far, that nothing I've "confessed" really has to do with just me. It's all been closer to something like my reaction to the things people around me have done. It's not really a bad thing; I needed to get those things off my chest, and reading back on everything I've said has helped me see things a little more clearly, about those people, and especially about myself. Since I've focused enough on the former, I'll elaborate a little more on the latter...
I've come to see that it makes me feel a little bit better when the focus is on other people, and not myself. Even in confessing my secrets through here, I keep the spotlight on others.
Yet, though it all came out kind of backwards, I've accomplished what I set out to do: I've learned a little bit of myself by sharing parts of my life I sought to repress. So there's one reason today's "Sunday Secret" will be the last of that nature.
The other reason is much simpler. I found a journal. It's an interesting story, really, and maybe someday I'll feel comfortable typing it out here, but for now, that's a secret I'll hold close. All that really matters is that I'm once again filling blank pages with random and not-so random thoughts flitting around in my head, and it's helping me get back to that sanity I knew way back when. I know I'm not the same person I was back then; it'll just be interesting to see how a forgotten method of coping will help me tackle new problems I'll be facing.
To some extent, it doesn't make sense to blog and have a written journal at the same time. I guess to know the difference, a person would actually have to actively have and use both. Even then, it's a weird concept, yet one that makes some sense when thought about. Or maybe that's just the drugs I'm taking to get rid of this cold talking...