Some truths come out of hiding...sometimes.
This chapter is rated FRT.
Buffy walked into the living room and leaned against the doorframe, a slow smile appearing on her face. Her anger from before had dissipated as soon as she had walked into the ‘pub’. And now, she was home and Giles was here. The father of her baby was here…in Rome and currently sitting on her couch with the sonogram picture of their child in his hands, his brow furrowed as his finger lightly traced the image.
“Everything okay, Giles?”
He jumped, clearly startled as he hadn’t heard her come in. He looked at her sheepishly and smiled.
“I think I can make out a head. Or it could be a hand.”
She snorted a laugh and pushed off the doorframe, moving to the couch and sitting down next to him. “Show me.”
He leaned towards her slightly and pointed to the spot he was currently studying. “What do you think? Head or hand?”
Buffy sighed and shook her head. “Does it make me a bad mother if I say ‘I don’t know’?”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Not at all. In fact, it makes me feel quite a lot better.”
Buffy jumped suddenly and put her hand on her stomach. Giles dropped the picture and turned to face her, his eyes full of concern.
“Buffy?”
She grabbed his hand quickly and placed it on her stomach. His eyes dropped to their hands and he swallowed.
“Do you feel it?” She asked, pressing his hand harder against her.
He shook his head and lifted his eyes to hers. “No, what is it? Is something wrong?”
“I…think the baby just moved.” She whispered softly, gazing into his eyes.
“What did it feel like?” He whispered back, his fingers lightly rubbing her stomach.
She swallowed and moved her hand to his wrist. “Like…a flutter or something.”
“Oh. I’m not really up to date on the stages of pregnancy…” His gaze darted to her lips before returning to her eyes. “Maybe it’s something only you can feel right now.”
“Yeah.” She leaned forward slightly, releasing his wrist. She found herself somewhat surprised when he didn’t remove his hand.
Realizing that he was dangerously close to kissing her, he cleared his throat and sat back. The moment broken, she heaved a heavy sigh and stood up.
“I, uh…it’s late. I should…I should go to bed. After all, tomorrow’s another big day.”
He regarded her carefully. “What’s tomorrow?”
“I had planned on telling Dawn that she’s going to be an aunt when she gets back from her classes.”
“Would, uh…would you like for me to be there?”
She lowered her eyes and took a deep breath. “Can we talk about it in the morning?”
“Of course, Buffy.” He replied gently. “You…should get some rest.”
“There are clean towels in the hall closet, if you want to take a shower before…” She narrowed her eyes as something occurred to her. “You can’t sleep on the couch.”
He offered her a small smile. “I’ve already had this discussion with Dawn. She offered her bed to me. As I told her, I’m fine on the couch. Thank you.”
“Um…okay…good night, Giles.” She uttered quickly with a nod before turning and nearly running out of the room.
“Buffy?”
She stopped in the doorway and turned to look at him. “Yeah?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. His courage lost, he exhaled softly. “Sleep well.”
She offered him a sad smile. “You too.”
With that, she turned and made her way down the hall to her bedroom. Giles cursed softly under his breath and picked the picture up from the floor.
* * *
Two hours later, he walked past her bedroom door on his way back from the bathroom. The shower had refreshed him and now he found himself wide awake. He paused outside her door and placed his palm on the cool wood.
He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to tell her so many things. He also had questions. The most important being, would she have told him if he hadn’t come to Rome? He did his best to calm his nerves and gently knocked on the door.
“Yeah?” She answered quietly, but not in a tone that indicated she had been asleep.
“Buffy…may I come in?”
She was silent for a moment and then responded with another ‘yeah’. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. She was sitting on the bed, her back resting against the headboard with a book in her lap. He walked in and closed the door behind him.
“I…can I talk to you for a moment, please?”
She closed the book, setting it to the side as she scooted to the middle of the bed. “Yeah.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed, glancing at her before lowering his eyes. “When I asked if the baby was mine, I didn’t - ”
“I know.” She interrupted him softly. “My hormones are so out of whack right now. I’m sorry that I walked out the way I did. I just…I thought it was the best thing to do at that moment.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” He asked hesitantly.
“Yes. But, I was scared of how you were going to take it. I picked up the phone so many times over the past month…but, I always hung up before I hit the last number.”
“You said you didn’t expect anything from me.”
“I don’t. This wasn’t exactly planned and I know it was just sex to you, but…I want this baby, Giles. And I’ll raise him or her with all the love I have.”
He turned his head sharply and looked into her eyes. “And what if I want to be a father to this child? Do I have any say on what role I’m allowed to play in his or her life?”
Buffy stared at him, dumbfounded at his words. “Do you?”
He turned his body to face her and licked his suddenly dry lips. “Yes, Buffy. I do.”
Her eyes glistened as she shook her head, her hands playing with the edge of the sheet. “How is this supposed to work? We live in different countries…”
“One of us could relocate. You, and Dawn, are more than welcome to come and stay with me.”
“And that wouldn’t be at all awkward, would it?” She sighed, averting her eyes from his.
“I’ll do whatever I have to do to be this child’s father. If you want me to move to Rome, I will.”
Not knowing how to respond to that statement, Buffy bit her lip and changed the topic. “Giles, I have to ask you something. And…there’s really no good way to ask.”
He gave her a nod, requesting she continue. She inhaled deeply and blurted out her question.
“How often do you have unprotected sex?”
He raised an eyebrow. It was a sudden change of topic in the conversation, but she had every right to know. Especially considering the day and age they were living in.
“Never…in the past twenty years or so. I…I’m normally extremely careful.”
“But, not with me?” She asked in a hushed tone.
“I have no excuse, Buffy. I’m certain that I’m…clean. But, I have no issues with being tested, to ease your mind.”
“No, I trust you. If I didn’t, I would’ve stopped you. I would’ve insisted on…condoms or something.”
He tilted his head slightly and gazed at her. “But, you didn’t.”
When she shook her head, he whispered a one word question. “Why?”
“I…I don’t know. Maybe subconsciously I was…hoping. I mean, I’m getting older.”
When his brow furrowed, she clarified her statement.
“I’m a Slayer, Giles. This is old for a Slayer, you know that as well as I do.” He gave a nod of agreement as she continued. “Maybe my biological clock was telling me this might be my one shot to have a baby. All I know is…I didn’t stop you. I didn’t insist on protection.”
She blew out a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “You were the first person that I’ve not used protection with.”
He cleared his throat and twisted the onyx ring on his finger. “Um…Angel? Spike?”
She shook her head slowly. “I was a little clueless about the whole ‘vampires aren’t able to have children’ thing with Angel. With Spike…” She ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “With Spike, I couldn’t handle the thought of feeling his…I didn’t want it inside of me.”
“Oh.” Giles answered, rubbing the side of his neck.
“With you…I wanted to feel. And this…” She glanced down at her stomach and bit her lip. “This is the result. A baby…your baby.”
“Our baby.” He whispered almost inaudibly.
“Giles…” She trailed off when she saw his hand edge towards her abdomen. When he stopped his movement before his fingers touched her, she sniffled. “You can touch, if you want.”
His fingers trembled as they lightly brushed over her stomach. When he placed his palm over the barely distinguishable swell of her stomach, she covered his hand with hers. He raised his eyes, his heart rate quickening as their eyes met.
She lifted her free hand and grazed her fingertips over his cheek. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
“Buffy, I…” As her fingers slipped to his neck, he sighed and closed his eyes. The mark she had left was long gone, but he still remembered the sensation of her mouth latched onto his skin.
When he felt her lips brush over his, his eyes snapped open. She swallowed as she slowly pulled away and licked her lips.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I shouldn’t have - ”
Her thought was left unfinished as he quickly leaned into her, covering her mouth with his. Her lips parted as she gasped in surprise. He took advantage of the opportunity, slipping his right hand to the back of her neck as he pushed his tongue into her mouth.
He felt, rather than heard, her groan as he moved his left hand from her stomach to cradle her face. She responded quickly, sliding her tongue along his as her hands moved up his t-shirt covered chest.
He broke the kiss and groaned softly as her fingers brushed over his hardened nipples. “Buffy…”
She had noticed his reaction when she had touched his neck earlier. She also remembered how he had lost control when she sucked on the flesh so many months ago. Leaning forward, she kissed his neck lightly before nipping at his skin with her teeth.
“Christ…” He hissed, his hand moving to cup the back of her head as she nipped him again. “God, Buffy…I love you.”
She lifted her head slowly, her heart racing as she looked into his darkened eyes. “What?”
His chest heaved as he tried to calm the panic rushing through him. He took a deep breath, knowing he had no choice but to tell her the truth.
“I love you.” He whispered nervously. “I’ve been in love with you for so very long. And…it wasn’t ‘just sex’ to me, Buffy. It was never ‘just sex’.”